Flyby's Predictions for Housing Day Anthems

By John Y. Wang

Some Houses have already released previews of their 2016 Housing Day videos, but we are not yet convinced that the Dark Side (or long and drawn-out scrolling lines of text fading into the vast expanse of outer space) looks good on Dunster, or that Eliot really needs to apologize for anything (or maybe it should – see below). For HoCos that have not started making their videos yet, here are some recommendations based on an appraisal of your House character.

Adams: FourFiveSeconds (Rihanna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney)

This song is fitting for two reasons. First, we get it, Adams. It actually takes only four or five seconds to get from class to your front door. But on the other hand, that is also how long it takes for you to find a cockroach or furry roommate. Everything comes with a tradeoff.

Cabot: Hello (Adele)

Hello from the other side. Of campus. Of the world, it sometimes seems. Hello from across the Quad, because Cabot is not even completely connected. If you’re placed into Cabot, you’ll be wondering if after all the years it takes you to make it to the River for Sunday brunch, your friend will still like to meet to go over everything (on your problem set due the next day).

Currier: Can’t Feel My Face (The Weeknd)

Yes, another Quad joke. Currierites are probably so cold by the time they finally get back home that they physically cannot feel their face, with or without that special someone.

Dunster: Wildest Dreams (Taylor Swift)

The Dunster renovation took the best of classical Harvard and the best of trying to live in the 21st century to satisfy living quarters that had previously been only in our wildest dreams. Here’s to hoping it satisfies all of yours, too.

Eliot: B!tch Better Have My Money (Rihanna)

Rihanna earns a second spot on our list with a song that sounds like it could have been written by Eliot HoCo. Hope you’re ready to pony up if you get Eliot.

Kirkland: Hands To Myself (Selena Gomez)

Kirkland residents literally cannot keep their hands to themselves. Exhibit A: Incest Fest. Get ready to know your blockmates extra well if you get placed here.

Leverett: WTF - Where They From (Missy Elliott and Pharrell Williams)

“What? Leverett? Is that a House?” asks a perfectly innocent freshman. Yes, and YOU might live there next year. But don't worry, just because you aren’t really sure which of the brick buildings along the River is McKinlock doesn’t mean it won’t make a loving home for the next three years. Just watch out for man-eating rabbits in the courtyard and rabid physics p-setters in the dining hall.

Lowell: Hold My Hand (Jess Glynne)

When freshmen entering Lowell learn that they will be out of their House for their junior and senior years, endless hand holding and tear wiping will be in order. Rumor has it Diana and Dorothy are thinking of relocating Lowell Tea to El Jefe’s location for the interim, knowing that nothing in that space lasts too long anyway.

Mather: The Night Is Still Young (Nicki Minaj)

You will be using this line every weekend to make sure you take full advantage of your single. Just make sure you turn up your boom badoom-boom super bass so you don’t scar your neighbors with the wild mating call of your anaconda.

Pforzheimer: Where Are U Now (Jack U and Justin Bieber)

“Ugh, another Quad joke,” you’re probably thinking to yourself right now. Well, you’re right. There were not many good songs to choose from in 2015.

Quincy: When We Were Young (Adele)

Quincy seems to be all about the contrast between old and new. With the opening of Stone Hall in 2013, New Quincy became old and Old Quincy (formerly Increase Mather Hall) became new. Though Adele reflects on yesteryear, current freshman can look forward to not having the crazy Quincy dining restrictions imposed on them for the rest of their Harvard career. The future ain’t so bad after all.

Winthrop: Drag Me Down (One Direction)

2015 was the year that Winthrop dragged everything down... or maybe vice versa. As asbestos rains onto students from the walls and the ceilings, our fingers are crossed for the future of the House of Throp.

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