Spoiler Alert: Don’t go to section. We’re going to make it really easy for you with these foolproof excuses.
Sometimes section can feel just as painful as a trip to the dentist, so why not conveniently schedule all of your dentist appointments at the same time as section? Better yet, get your wisdom teeth out — that should buy you at least two weeks.
When Nature Calls
Time your email to go out at a crisp 2:17 a.m. with a frantic and “remorseful” note about how those El Jefe’s beans are keeping you at the toilet all night long. Enough said.
Nobody wants to get involved in other people’s family lives. Keep it vague — the “family emergency” line works well. But if you have to get specific, try for a wedding or funeral.
Getting to the Lev Dhall or the Quad from the Yard can feel like a different world. Your TF will likely feel a strange mix of pity and mercy for your directionally impaired self.
“My uncle’s kitten is severely diabetic, and I need to be home to administer the medication.” Who would be crazy enough to make something like that up? If it’s bizarre enough, no one will ask questions.
My Talents Are Better Spent Elsewhere
America’s Got Talent is holding open calls, and you just know you’re going to be famous from this TV appearance. Break a leg with this one! (Oh, breaking a leg also works as an excuse.)
Jokes aside, section is important. Stay in school kids! (Unless you get a callback from America’s Got Talent. In that case, definitely keep skipping section).