Quarantine Self-Makeovers That Aren't Cutting Your Bangs

By Lu Shao

We’re all going to come out of this socially awkward and in tie dye sweat suits — do you really want to throw bad DIY bangs into the mix? For those moments when scissors become tantalizing, and you keep telling yourself that “hair grows back,” here are a few alternative makeovers to try instead.

Change Your Linkedin Headshot

Maybe you don’t actually need to change your style — you just want everyone to think you look like a young professional bound for Goldman. Give your whole resume a makeover while you’re at it, because you probably don’t need the lawn mowing business you started at age 11 to be the first thing all those recruiters see.

Stop Wearing Your Retainer

You can’t sneak out to go to parties, can’t wear an outfit that would get you dress coded, and can’t tell your dad that playing basketball is “Your dream, Dad,” so find a new way to rebel: Don’t wear your crusty old retainer for a few days. See what happens. Maybe you’ll get a fabulous new smile, or maybe you’ll just waste all the money you spent on orthodontia and all those years you spent with a mouth full of metal. But at least you’ll be a rebel.

Draw All Over Your Arms and Legs

Tattoos are like bangs: best left either to a professional artist or an indie girl with soothing vibes to do. The low-budget version of getting a really cool tattoo is to draw on yourself with a (nontoxic) marker. Bonus if you accidentally stain your entire tub trying to wash your DIY tattoos off. Double bonus if your mom tells you you’ll get a skin condition.

Shave Your Eyebrows

Sure, eyebrows are cool, but what’s even cooler is no eyebrows. Shave ‘em off. See what happens. After all, you’re not going to see anybody for the foreseeable future. What do you really have to lose?

Feel like that dorky girl turned bombshell from every 90’s teen movie yet? You look great. So in order to avoid any America’s-Next-Top-Model-Makeover-Week-level catastrophes, maybe leave the bangs cutting to the professionals. And if you must cut, cut up, not sideways.

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