Quiz: Which Tech Firm Are You?

By Madeline R. Lear

Contrary to popular belief, recruiting does not only consist of business suits and networking coffee chats. Elsewhere on campus, perhaps closer to the Maxwell Dworkin building, one can hear the anguished woes of another monster: tech recruiting. Welcome to the realm of Facebook and Google, binary search trees and sorting algorithms, and runtime and edge cases. While you will rarely be seen in business suits, you will always be on the grind for that seemingly unattainable internship or job. Where do you see yourself this/next summer or after graduation? Are you a tech whiz destined for Google? An archaic Microsoft nerd? Take a break from staring at your failed test cases and find out.

1) What is your favorite course at Harvard?

A. CS61: Systems Programming and Machine Organization

B. CS50: Introduction to Computer Science

C. GENED 1074: The Ancient Greek Hero

D. Answering this would require going to class.

2) Where can you be found on a Saturday night?

A. In your room on your fifth game of League of Legends

B. Curled up in your covers with a good book and a cup of your favorite tea

C. Walking out of El Jefe’s after a wild night with your main squad

D. Passionately debating with your communist roommate about the merits of capitalism

3) There’s a party going on tonight. Where can you be found?

A. In your room on your sixth game of League of Legends

B. Awkwardly dancing at the edge of the circle, feeding off the second hand coolness of the center

C. Right at the center of the room, hyping up the rest of the crowd

D. Trying and failing to shoot your shot

4) What do you like to do for fun?

A. Who has time for fun? There are psets to do.

B. Go out to Boston with friends

C. Tag friends in one of the fifty meme groups you’re a part of

D. Go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole

5) How do you approach your psets?

A. Start them early, and work on them throughout the week.

B. Go to office hours and work together with friends

C. Beg friends for help the night before they’re due

D. Slave away for a night or two until you hear the birds chirping

Results:

Mostly A’s: You are Google! You are a hardcore nerd, a by-the-books student. You are married to the grind, and you are methodically attentive to details and perfection. You would thrive working on some complex machine learning project in Google’s intense environment. Who needs a social life when there are still Leetcode problems you haven’t solved yet?

Mostly B’s: You are Microsoft! You are the wholesome mom of your friends, and you have a soft spot for the old-fashioned way of doing things. You are organized and have probably made or thought of making a bullet journal at one point in your life. Microsoft would love an enthusiastic team player like you.

Mostly C’s: You are Facebook! You’re a social butterfly, and your Instagram feed is always popping. You’re on the recruiting grind like any other, but you also know when it’s time to stop typing and start letting loose. Social media is a huge factor in your personal life, so why not extend it to professional as well?

Mostly D’s: You are Amazon! You like to work by yourself, and you know what it takes to succeed. You probably spend lectures online shopping — if you bother to attend at all. You are a quiet grinder, and just because you’re smart enough to grind doesn’t mean you always have to. You embody the analytical logic and practicality that would fit right in with Amazon.

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