Have you been frequenting Lamont 2nd floor? Have your stress levels reached an all-time high at this point in the semester? Were you also horrified to see that course registration for the spring semester is open? Ah yes, the Harvard student during midterms—a creature we have all encountered and, worse, become. Nevertheless, we are here to give you prophecies advice.

Aries ♈️

Mars charges you into office hours with a question you could have answered by rereading the syllabus. Confidence is high, preparation is hypothetical. The stars advise opening that PDF before opening up that conversation. And maybe, just maybe, actually making your way to Quincy dining hall for office hours with your TF.

Taurus ♉️

Venus guards your favorite desk in Lamont basement. It is up to you to defend it fiercely. Comfort is a priority, while productivity is a rumor. The universe supports chatter, but please also open the textbook. You don’t want another Sidechat post about your shenanigans. Those OPs can be ruthless.

Gemini ♊️

Mercury turns every “review session” into two hours of gossip. You will learn everyone’s weekend plans and most embarrassing stories, but you’ll be drawing blanks on the day of your exam. The stars suggest turning on “Do Not Disturb” until Friday and using your time wisely to catch up on those Panopto lectures.

Cancer ♋️

The moon pulls you towards the dhall, where you will cry a little over pre-mixed Caesar salad. Emotions run high, and your 9 a.m. exam is only a small part of it. Lunar guidance: hydrate, call someone who loves you (and ideally is not going through midterms themself), then return to your study guide. Or go get some Berryline and eat your sorrows away. Get extra mochi—you deserve it.

Leo ♌️

The sun illuminates you in the front row of the lecture hall. You will announce (lie) that you “barely studied” while holding a pristine cheat sheet. The stars advise humility and fewer displays of performativity. That may require choosing against heading to Blue Bottle for the fourth time this week for an iced Nola with cold foam. Let’s try a regular latte from Peet’s instead.

Virgo ♍️

Saturn rewards your color-coded flashcards but punishes the 3 a.m. rewrite of your thesis statement. Your paper is already good. The lesson here is to submit it and let the TF be the one to find the comma splice. Save the unnecessary spiraling for last-minute Halloween Amazon purchases. Or, even spookier, Match 13.5 results…

Libra ♎️

Venus cannot choose between Intro to Everything and the class that “sounds interesting.” Registration tabs multiply faster than your notes. Balance requires closing at least six of them. Your laptop sounds like an airplane ready for takeoff. Act fast before it’s too late. You don’t want to end up having to pay the IT desk in the Science Center a visit next week for a loaner device …

Scorpio ♏️

Pluto knows your classmate’s grade, your section leader’s mood, and the median before it’s even posted. Obsession is a form of study, technically. The stars warn that the Canvas gradebook will not tell you who you are. It’ll only tell you who you are not. After this week, one thing is certain: I am not built for a midterms ft. Family Weekend bender. Something’s gotta give.

Sagittarius ♐️

Jupiter whispers about a spontaneous weekend away, and your problem set is not invited. Wanderlust peaks the night before a deadline. Fall foliage is lovely, but the paper is due Monday. You promise yourself that you will finish writing on the Amtrak, only to fall asleep as soon as you leave South Station. Jupiter urges you to sit this trip out even if the FOMO becomes too much for your heart to handle.

Capricorn ♑️

Saturn has scheduled your breaks in 15-minute intervals, including this one. Ambition is admirable, but so is a nap. The universe reminds you that a rest day is a productive day. Cozy up on the couch with your favorite blanket and dream away all your worries about the impending grade cap. Don’t beat yourself up if the nap turns into a full night’s rest…

Aquarius ♒️

Uranus sends you a 2 a.m. theory about why midterms are a social construct. But with your paper due at 11:59 p.m., the stars suggest writing the theory down for later. Spare yourself the pain of redirection and focus on being true to your inner self. The universe warns against sounding too much like a Social Studies concentrator.

Pisces ♓️

Neptune turns every walk by the river into a daydream. Autumn light, warm coffee, and a vague sense that you are the protagonist of a movie about someone who should be studying. Trust the feeling, then trust your calendar. If all else fails, trust that at the end of the day there are new beginnings to look forward to. New midterm-less chapters in your near future.

All of these are 100% true and totally not made up by someone with no way of knowing the future at all! Good luck!