News

Harvard Law School Makes Online Zero-L Course Free for All U.S. Law Schools Due to Coronavirus

News

For Kennedy School Fellows, Epstein-Linked Donors Present a Moral Dilemma

News

Tenants Grapple with High Rents and Local Turnover at Asana-Owned Properties

News

In April, Theft Surged as Cambridge Residents Stayed at Home

News

The History of Harvard's Commencement, Explained

WHAT IT HAS COME TO.

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

DEAR SALLY, -

My letter this week must be dreary;

Your friends at the college are anxious and weary.

There is one horrid word in their mouths, namely, "annual";

And I versify for you the neat little manual

That is published to tell us our places and times, -

Though I fear 't is a subject ill suited to rhymes.

You observe we begin on the last day of May,

So while on the graves tender garlands you lay,

Remember the soldiers still living, who find

In U. 10 the Spanish distressing their mind.

On June first, Massachusetts holds Chemistry 1.

5 History and 4 Mathematics are done

In U. E. R. But you err if you think that is all.

2 Italian, 6 Greek, and 5 Phil. (ethics) call

To U. 2. On the 2d, 3 Phil. fills U. 4

And U. 10; U. E. R. and 18 (second floor)

Have 1 German; 6 Latin assumes 16 U.,

While 7 Nat. History lurks in U. 2;

And six blessed hours are the Chemistry toils done

(2 and 3) in the fume-haunted purlieus of Boylston.

On the 3d, History 6, U. E. R.; Latin 1

M. U. H., while Greek 4 in U. 16 is done.

Nat. Hist. 4 and 8 in U. 2; and 8 Math.

A shelter sufficient in U. 18 hath.

Hebrew, Sanskrit, Rom. Phil., will all crowd in U. 10

With Phil. 4, - but they don't make a great many men.

On the 4th, Massachusetts engulfs in its maw

Physics (Sophs.) in the morning; and while they are raw

From the teeth of the monster, it swallows at eve

The Rhetoric Juniors, and if you believe

The proof on my table, U. 2 sees once more

That 7 Nat. Hist. which I mentioned before.

On Friday of French and Italian a flood

Sweeps o'er us like Nile with its Nubian mud.

Advanced in the morning, the place U. E. R.,

M. U. H. in the P. M., what's simpler by far.

And the Freshmen, who thus far have nothing to do,

Have their Latin at last in Mass. Halls and U. 2.

The 6th is a Greek day, - the Freshmen again;

2 and 8 in U. 16, U. 18, U. 10.

U. E. R. welcomes German 2, 3; and Math. 7

Exults, tightly packed, in the new Lawrence heaven.

And again Boylston echoes throughout the whole morning

With the shouts of Chem. 4, to its test-tubes returning.

* * * * *

Great Jove! It's all changed! There's a new proof come out

2 Latin, Math. 8, and lots more knocked about, -

Words are wholly unequal my thoughts to express.

Shall I do it all over again? - yes - no - yes;

On Saturday, - Sunday, - no - Monday, I think,

That's May 32d! - Quick, something to drink!

* * * * *

Yes; on Sunday Dutch 19 takes place in the Chapel; -

Each student will bring three cigars and an apple.

And the Overseers meet in the cellar of Grays,

To be practised in rowing the next sixteen days,

While the Class-Day Committee will work at the tune

Which the Seniors will sing on the nineteenth of June.

* * * * *

O dear, what mad rot am I writing! Ah, Sally,

The schedule, you see, proves too much for your Wally;

And to save what is left of my poor oozing brain,

From further attempt to make verse I refrain.

W. T.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags