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ON Cambridge honors, so some say,
The ladies soon will seize;
When "students unattached" become
"Our girls," and take degrees.
But when in college larks and lore,
With men these maids are matched,
I fear though "unattached" before,
They 'll soon become attached!
- Punch.THEY have had a great row at Oxford because all the students of University College, Oxford, have been "sent down," i.e., suspended, for screwing up a proctor's door.
THE '80 Class Fund has reached $7,970. The average subscription to the combined Class and College Funds in the different College buildings is: Grays, $84.60, Littles, $76.25, Thayer, $69.00, Holworthy, $66.00, Weld, $63.25, Matthews, $62.30, Holyoke, $59.10, College House, $50.00, Stoughton, $45.60, Hollis, $45.45.
As the Yard will be paled in after 5 o'clock, on Class Day, and as no one will be admitted without tickets, it will be necessary to observe some care about invitations. The best device is to enclose with the invitation a card asking whether Yard tickets are wanted or not. All who are coming before 5 o'clock will not need them.
EPITAPH ON AN EASY-GOING INSTRUCTOR.
+
The man who reduced
Smoking to a Fine Art,
Rum to a Science,
and
Teaching to a Luxury.
R. I. P.
COLLEGE statistics from the Lasell Seminary at Auburndale: "Twenty-nine wine-colored dresses; twenty-two blue sacques."
Literary young man at party. - "Miss Jones, have you seen Crabbe's Tales?" Young lady (scornfully) - "I was not aware that crabs had tails." Literary young man (covered with confusion) - "I beg your pardon. I should have said, read Crabbe's Tales." Young lady (angrily scornful) - "And I was not aware that red crabs had tails either." Exit young man. - Unidentified Exchange.
Professor: "Miss C., give an example of a true conclusion drawn from two false premises." Miss C. - "Logic is an easy study. That's false. I don't like easy studies. That's false. *** I don't like logic. That's true." - Vassar Miscellany.
Miss H. (who has chosen medicine as a profession, to Professor, who has given the class an ox's heart to dissect). - "Oh! Professor, can't we have forks to handle it with?" - Vassar Miscellany.
1st Senior: "I say, Bob, you are not going to slope the last day, are you?"
2d Senior: "Why not? It's my last chance." Princetonian.
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