The New Kaiser Meets a Hero

After a while the train, with Washington D. Vanderlip on board, got to Moscow. The train got to Moscow just on the minute, but six days late. Our hero stretched his weary limbs and asked which was the way to the munificent palace of the Kremlin where the concessions were. Thither he proceeded by hiring two cabs, one for himself and one to carry the paper rubles to pay for the first cab. Soon he got to the munificent palace of the Kremlin where the concessions were and was introduced to Mr. Lenine, who asked him please to speak loudly as the plumbers were engaged in repairing the plumbing.

Mr. Lenine received our hero with an amiable ezardonic smile.

Our hero gave his name and asked Mr. Lenine to please not confuse the last part of his name with the National City Bank and not to confuse the first part of his name with the cherry tree.

"And what can I do for you?" said Mr. Lenine, speaking, to our hero's surprise, in a perfectly idiotic English.

"If you don't mind," said our hero, "I should like to have a great deal of various things."


"How would a couple of million of reindeer do?" said Mr. Lenine.

"Couldn't you make it a billion?" said our hero.

"You can have a billion reindeer just as easily as a couple of million," said Mr. Lenine, "and we'll throw in all the ice and Eskimos that go with the reindeer."

I think that about 400,000 square miles will be nice," said our hero

"You're sure you don't want a million square miles," said Mr. Lenine. "You have only to say the word, you know. The moral effect will be the same.

Our hero thought that 400,000 square miles would do nicely. Quicker than thought he also obtained from Mr. Lenine ten billion tons of coal, five billion tons of platinum, eight billion tons of furs--the nice woolly kind, twenty billion tons of petroleum, et cetera, et cetera.

Our hero then said the he must hurry because he had an appointment with the reporters in Stockholm and Mr. Lenine escorted him to the cub and kindly consented to pay for the cab and asked him to give his have to Mr. Winston Churchill. And so our hero drove away from the munificent place of the Kremlin, waving his hand to Mr. Lenine, who stood in the doorway smiling a gracious, czardonic smile. New York Evening Post.