lampoon Mudslingers Seek Futile Revenge on Crimson for Proxy Victory--Score as Usual Proves to Be 23 to 2

When the raucous crowd of lampoon editors arrived at Soldiers Field yesterday afternoon for the annual CRIMSON-lampoon baseball game, they found the CRIMSON waiting for them in the shape of an extra edition giving details of the latest 23 to 2 victory of the gentlemen over the inane comedians.

Enraged at their ignominious defeat, the besotted horde of dirt hounds sought revenge by storming the Crimson Building with their natural weapon, mud. A near riot ensued in which the three CRIMSON news editors who happened to be in the building put 43 lampoon amateurs to shame. Peace was not restored, however, before the blood of the misguided humorists had been spattered indecently over the facade of the building and on the sidewalk. The cringing pseudo-comic mudslingers then retired to their funny little bungalow on Mount Auburn Street, carrying most of their wounded with them.

Last night lampoon men were busy spreading the report that the CRIMSON was afraid to play. The fact of the matter is that the ungentlemanly conduct of which the potentially humorous magazine has been guilty, has so disguised the CRIMSON that an encounter on equal social terms would have been impossible. Hence the present suppression of the lampoon.

Although the score of the game goes on the records as the customary '23 to 2, the poor sportsmanship of the lampoon, when it discovered the CRIMSON's intention of winning the game by proxy, entitled the gentlemen to a 46 to 2 victory, which like true sportsmen they disdained, for sacred tradition forbids the CRIMSON to win by more than 23 runs to 2.

If the lampoon promises to live a clean life with no police record in the future, the CRIMSON is willing to play them next year.


The score by innings follows, as reprinted from the extra edition of yesterday afternoon. Innings  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 CRIMSON  5  4  3  2  1  9  8  7  6  23 lampoon  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  2