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To the Editor of the CRIMSON:
Your leading editor of today I find most pusillanimous with bastardy implied, perfidious in its ill-concealed splenetics, and hideous in its bombast. I cannot call it creditable journalism; too lame the tribute at its end, which does scant justice to a sheet of high repute, far higher than your own.
John Orangeman and Goody Advocate indeed! It does you little honor thus to cast bawdy aspersions on respected age. Mount Auburn Street must writhe with needless shame, and will, I trust, take a most fitting vengeance on you all by cancelling all subscriptions. No more need newsboys tread the steps of Randolph, while Claverly shall bar its doors against you, (or would, but for the very present need of reading your official notice columns.)
Know then, the Lampoon's birth is of a quality that far exceeds mere human bounds. Minerva like, it sprang fullarmed from the inspired heads of nine most Jovian wits, nine muses of the day. No CRIMSON midwife fostered it, and it has thrived on jests more recent than the daily news you render us in your dull, homely columns. Let this letter stand as a testimonial to your obloquy.
I am, sir, Very truly yours, A. Goodwin Cooke.
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