Gloom, black and well nigh impenetrable, has settled over the ancient halls and stained glass windows of Elihu Yale. They say it reaches almost to Camden. Feline yawps, augmented by the throaty bellows of the Theological Students, rend the quivering air. For on the eve of one of the classic gridiron spectacles of the East, news of a most alarming nature has trickled through to New Haven. (The above use of "trickled" is with deepest intent, as will appear shortly).
Briefly, graduate students and fellows of Yale have suddenly, and without warning or precedent, been forbidden to use alcohol from the laboratories for the purpose of beverages, now and forever more. After all, this is rather a tough situation down at Yale. They have always been lead to believe that they could count on those laboratories. No wonder they think it's a sin and a shameful waste. Harvard men may even be a little worried themselves, all except those who are smart enough to realize that forewarned is forearmed, and, according to a current rumor, intend to go down to New Haven by boat.
There is just one other item, to be scanned even more briefly. "The... warning was not given to undergraduates, as their access to alcohol is closely restricted."
Believe it or not.