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THE PIED PIPER

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Dr. William Muhlberg of Cincinnati, a former instructor at Harvard, has recently declared that "it is not too soon to begin educating people who want to drink in the art of using alcoholic beverages." He stresses the fact that mothers should teach their children temperance and should practice it as well. This seems to imply that even modern mothers are ignorant in this art; and if they are ignorant, it follows that no one can be excluded from this category, not even Dr. Muhlberg.

Higher institutions of learning might probably consider an extension into the realm of maternity. When "Bacchanalian Arts 1a, 1b, 1d," grace dull course indexes, Universities may find a way to fill the cup of learning. "Fat rats, thin rats, scrawny rats" will throng after the elusive flute. "Heaviside Calculus" and "Molecular Forces" possess a soporific charm all their own, but who can foretell the rush of "black rats, white rats, and brown rats," to worship at the feet of a seer who could outline the indefinable incompatibility of champagne and muligataway?

Dr. Muhlberg's pronouncement, moreover, should find staunch advocates in quite another direction. Take, for example, the tutor who offered a tutee three fingers of Port and uncovered forthwith a chipper reaction to the intricacies of Lady Macbeth. The domain bounded by green glass and shiny labels has obviously been too long neglected by purveyors of modern education. But the thought occurs,--imagine rising with a hangover to greet a nine o'clock on the "Amenities of Gin," and an eleven o'clock laboratory exercise in "The Art of the little finger as applied to Chartreusel"

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