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THE PRESS

NIGHT LIFE AT OXFORD

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Then the day dawned that the multitude of new apostles moved into the city of the elms purely that they might listen to the low discourse of the prophet. And for no other reason.

In the crowd, were there many of each race, each creed, each tongue, and mused the prophet, as he eyed the throng, each sex. But the prophet was in a nasty mood.

For indeed, all in the throng were male, as the rules required. Yet there were those, therein who so walked and talked and flung their hands and hair and so clothed themselves as to raise grave doubts in the mind of the prophet.

But indeed was the prophet in a nasty mood, and he rose in his wrath and an old dirty tunic before his new people. And he raised his right arm to silence the mob, and incidentally; to keep the tunic from falling off.

"Oh, my friends," he bellowed, dropping his cigar, "You, who as fresh men have come to fill my depleted ranks, there is much I have to say unto you. For I am in plenty gripe". Whereat he picked up his cigar and puffed moodily.

It has come to my ears that there are those amongst you who deny the teachings of the great Hark Ness, and who do form among you clubs whereto others of your throng are not admitted. Which is not nice.

"For the great Hark Ness hath proclaimed that there can be no distinction, and to this end hath he raised in these sylvan glades great temples with running water and canned provisions.

"Now, my people, we must have no cliques among us, for we must love the soapless as our brothers, the razorless as our dearest friends. We must not eat and live with those whom we like, for that is distinction. We must not talk principally with those who have the same tastes, for that is distinction. Nor can we eat better food than others among us, for that, tob, is distinction.

"Now the great Hark Ness, my people, would have us abolish distinction. Which is a nice idea, don't you think?

"Now have I ended my harangue," quoth the sage, "and I have no time in which to shovel a story this day".

At which those in the throng who knew something of the prophet heaved a great sign of relief and departed with the seer's blessing and welcome upon them. The Yale Daily News.

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