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Interviewed yesterday in a hall bedroom off Milk Street Dr. John T. Smoke-Stack said that Harvard would win or Yale would. "But you reds will have to watch Frank," he added. The following in the text of the interview with the cliche expert.
Q. Do you qualify as an expert? To make a long story short, have you been associated with the game for many years and have you been closely identified with the sport over a long period of time?
A. You, sir. I am a familiar figure at similar events.
Q. Where is Yale University?
A. Yale is in New Haven, Connecticut.
Q. What is it like?
A. Yale is an institution of higher learning supported by loyal alumni and wealthy friends. It has modern, fireproof buildings within five minutes of the Hotel Taft and also a distinguished faculty composed of well-known professors.
Q. Does Yale have a razzle-dazzle team that plays heads-up football?
A. No, sir. It has an aggressive forward wall and a highly touted backfield. In the opening period Captain Clint Frank will run like a doer and he will pass with deadly accuracy in the final minutes. Between the halves he will exhort his team-mates to greater heights.
Q. Take Harvard. It is a hard-working aggregate of clean limbed youths?
A. A disastrous fumble or a costly mistake may give Harvard a long sought victory and a well-merited win.
Q. I notice, Dr. Smoke-Stack, that you are fashionably dressed in the latest style. Do you anticipate a cold north wind?
A. Unless there is a heavy rain or a steady drizzle. The weather bureau predicts a perfect football day, but a scoreless tie will result in a winter of discontent.
Q. Ah hah! Then you fool that the umpiring will be a well-handled job? Performed without fear or favor? No ample scops for improvement, here, or crying need for reform?
A. The umpiring, sir, will be cause for comment, a subject of dispute, and a matter of investigation.
Q. What about the coaches? I have beard both from a usually reliable source and from a spokesman close to head-quarters that Coach Harlow will start eleven men.
A. That is not only the correct version but it also rings true. Coach Pond is worried to death over the traditional contest which may be a close game with a narrow margin of victory. In an exclusive statement to a well-attended interview he said, "Following my instructions Yale will use a deceptive offense and an iron defense. Our line will be: two Ends, two Tackles, a pair of Guards, and a hard Center." Neither coach will hazard a prediction, but both men flatly deny rumors.
Q. What will the snake dance be like, Dr. Smoke-Stack?
A. When the final whistle is blown a joyful throng will make a bee-line for the goal-posts. Unless these are stoutly defended they will be torn to shreds in the twinkling of an eye. By this time one band will have struck up a tune and the other will have beat a hasty retreat. The crowd, of course, will mill around and the police will nab old offenders. I autloipate numerous celebrations of the victory and frequent brushes with the police.
Q. Just one more question. Is Harvard an odds on favorite or does it have a fighting chance. Has it been picked to win or is it a forlorn hope?
A. As it dons its equipment for the approaching battle the Harvard team will have one of three attitudes. It won't be sick with fear, naturally, but it may await the kick-off with confidence, quake at the thought of defeat, or vow never to yield.
Q. Thank you.
A. Thank you
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