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The Vagabond

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Yesterday the Vagabond, exhausted by his load of examinations (mind you, a threesome in a row), walked into a travel agency in search of stimulation from the bright-colored posters and handbooks. After rummaging through the pamphlets on the main counter, during which period of ecstasy an impudent clerk glanced down with a sneer, doubting without speaking the Vagabond's ability to travel anywhere, his hands picked up a pink sheet. O, Harvard what a sight for sore eyes! Shore Excursion of the S. S. Tameriane To Boston and Harvard, Monday. August 2nd By Arrangement with the Weyman Ritcomb Co.

6.00--Dress in old, preferably baggy, clothes and wait patiently in stateroom for bugle. Upon hearing bugle, walk, do not run, to dining room where food will be served. Please do not annoy stewards with pleasantries, mild or otherwise; they have to get up at four-thirty.

7:30--Gather on B Deck about the starboard (the opposite of port) gangway. Passengers are advised not to throw pennies at the drivers, because once you begin, and Harvard man is smart enough to know you possess larger coins. You will be transported ashore in our own tenders.

9:30--Arrive at Harvard Square after examination of the Ye Olde Fishe Market, Colonial Theatre--where an old rumor has it that an attempt was once made on Herbert Hoover's life, and Mt. Auburn Cemetery. Fifteen minutes will be reserved for refreshments at "The Georgian." Notice carefully the well-executed Harvard seals on the walls. Here gather hungry and thirsty students at all hours. If the party will remain silent and keep its eyes open, it might see an undergraduate walk in. Under no condition must you disturb him; remarks addressed to or about him will place the entire group in jeopardy.

9:45--Ladies will find unusual bargains in the Coop, where the majority of students buy. Christmas gifts, curios, and trinkets may be found in the Book Department; especially commended are the textbooks, "Prose Masterpieces," "Behavioristic Tendencies in Psychology," "A Mathematical Approach to Economic Theory," "The Idealism of Bishop Boughlin."

10:00--After a walk through the Yard refreshments will be served to the fatigued at the Union, noted for its superb American cuisine.

10:30--Children must be careful in going through the Houses not to throw stories at the windows. Buckets of water and even fire-crackers have been known as the result of such an outrage.

12:00--Return to the ship, where luncheon will be served. Tenders ashore every half hour during the afternoon and evening. Young ladies are advised not to walk through Harvard unaccompanied after ten o'clock.

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