THE VERSATILE DEAN

("The new dean of the Harvard Law School, James M. Landis, is a versatile entertainer. His favorite trick is to sit atop a quart milk bottle with legs extended, reach to the right and pick a match off the floor, to the left for a cigarette, bring them both to his lips and light them without falling off the bottle."--News item.)

Oh, good Dean Landis is as smooth as silk--

He can sit with case on a quart of milk,

With his legs extended to the north and south

And no visible tremor of his jaw or mouth.

He prefers milk bottles to a cozy chair

He's a versatile and vivacious chap

And he seems content as he's sitting there;

Who doesn't mind acting as bottle cap.

He can reach for a smoke at his nearby right

And reach to his left for the means of light;

Through the parlor trick he will never lurch --

What a dean! What a stunt! What a smoking Perch!

He picked up this trick as a freshman raw --

And look where he's gone in the field of law!

To the chair of the dean in a dizzy hop--

That's a pretty good rise from a bottle top.

To old Harvard Law there's a mighty rush

Of bright young men in a growing crush

To observe where students of law may get--

With a quart of milk and a cigarette!

And they greet the dean on his glassy chair

With their "ohs!" and "ash!" as he's balanced there,

For it clearly shows that a law career

Isn't half as dull as it might appear.

So for Harvard Law let us give a cheer

And its nimble dean who's without a peer!

And a hoot at Yale, where the dean, they say,

Lights a cigarette in the regular way!

--N.Y. "Sun"