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"When Britain really ruled the waves,

(in good Queen Bess's time)

The House of Peers made no pretence

To intellectual eminence

Or scholarship sublime

Yet Britain won her proudest boys

In good Queen Bess's glorious days!

"When Wellington thrashed Bonaparte,

As every child can tell,

The House of Peers, throughout the war,

Did nothing in particular

And did it very well,

Yet Britain set the world abiaze

In good King George's glorious days!"

(From "lolanthe")

When Teddy's big stick ruled the waves

(In Bill McKinley's time)

The noble congress did not itch

To interfere in matters which

It did not understand

And yet we won Manila Bay

In Bill McKinley's glorious day.

When stocks were going up and up,

As every child can tell,

Calvin the oracular

Did nothing in particular

And did it very well,

Yet dollars set the world ablaze

In cool old Calvin's glorious days.

But now the government applies

Its intellectual paw

To labor, stocks, and currency

And in our foreign policy

"Good neighbor" is the law

Yet who can say if this will pay

As in the Grand Old Party's day.

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