News

Annual Report Finds Harvard Kennedy School Faculty Remains Largely White, Male

News

Harvard Square Celebrates Oktoberfest

News

Harvard Corporation Members Donated Big to Democrats in 2020 Elections

News

City Council Candidates Propose Strategies for Supporting Low-Income Residents at Virtual Forum

News

FAS Dean Gay Hopes to Update Affiliates on Ethnic Studies Search by Semester’s End

Unique Trio of Big Brained Fish With Phi Beta Kappa Mentalities flabbergast All Harvard With Their Antics

Congo Breed of Dodatmors Think And Think While They Swim For Doctor Nett

By Harry S. Hayward jr.

Three fish, rumored to have brains so large that they rank second only to those of man and the anthropoids, and which are believed to have a higher I.Q. than any other species of finny denizen, including guppies, have just arrived at the Marine of Geographical Exploration, it was announced yesterday by Dr. Thomas F. Nett, Jr., new head of the department.

Dr. Nett explained when interviewed, that these fish, called Dodatmors, come from the Congo river region, although one was once found in Flushing Bay, thoroughly defunct. He said that man's brain ranged from one-fiftieth to one eightieth of his total weight, depending largely on whether weight, depending largely on whether he is of the thin, Group I variety or the plump dropped Freshmen type. The Dodatmors, on the other hand, have brains a long one-fortieth of their weight.

The biggest puzzle however, Dr. Nett admits, is to find out what the Dodatmors think about their enormous brains. "I don't know what they think about in the Congo" the ichthyologist said. "But they didn't seem to think much about all the publicity they've been getting around here."

Gelatin Slows Them Up

Dr. Nett said that very little was known about Dodatmors--pronounced do-dat-more, with the last syllable strongly accented. In appearance they have large, somewhat square heads to make room for their huge brains. They also have high, slanting foreheads, under which a receding chin (which extends to their tall) begins almost immediately. When questioned as to why the fish appeared so calm and showed no sign of nervousness, supposed to be one of their chief characteristics, the doctor pointed out that their movements to and fro are of such rapidity that they could not be seen. He reluctantly admitted that he had added a few buckets of gelatin to their water to slow them down a bit.

Operating Difficulties

He emphasized that although they had a terrific brain, the rest of their body was pretty poor. "Notice that one," he said sympathetically. "His fins flap the wrong way for some reason, and he can't steer to save his neck."

Another one, even more pathetic looking had a queer type of reversed gills which extracted oxygen form the water all right, but tasted of using air a national scale, co-operating with the committee on education of the International conference at Lime, Peru, and to cultivate a wider understanding of political, economic and social aspects which the Americas have in common.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags