News
Erica Chenoweth and Zoe Marks Named Pfoho Faculty Deans
News
Harvard SEAS Faculty Reflect on Outgoing Dean, Say Successor Should Be Top Scholar
News
South Korean President Yoon Talks Nuclear Threats From North Korea at Harvard IOP Forum
News
Harvard University Police Advisory Board Appoints Undergrad Rep After Yearlong Vacancy
News
After Meeting with Harvard Admin on ‘Swatting’ Attack, Black Student Leaders Say Demands Remain Unanswered
With a mischievous twinkle in his beady eyes, Gargantua the Great, featured circus star, admitted last night that he had refused Yale's offer of a football scholarship. "My career comes firs," he thundered.
"I would have been right in my element," said the African gorilla, regretting that he had been unable to get to the Lampoon's party. "Unfortunately I have never learned to swim," he lamcuted, "but a lot of my relatives were there."
Denying rumers that he was that way about Shirley Temple, the seven-year old Terror insisted that he was entirely fancy free. But when Radcliffe girls were mentioned, he frothed at the month.
Just like a woman, this 160-pound wonder child of the Congo rushed into his bedroom when confronted by a yellow snake. "He just docan't like Yale men," explained his trainer.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.