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Crimson Brain Trust Dusts Off Lampoon in 23 to 2 Witskrieg


"We were wittier than they were And smarter, too; The CRIME was victorious 23-2."

So chanted the force of the Fourth Estate last night as a humbled group of 'Poon morons sadly departed from the field of their intellectual combat over the ether waves of the Crimson Network.

The test between the two was battle of brains over a set of questions selected by the one and only Professor Quiz, who made a special trip to Cambridge to pit the two adversaries against each other.

John (Give'em the bird) Robbins and Fire Dog Lyman bore the brunt of the cortical punishment absorbed by the 14 Plymptonsters, but it was Jack Ballantine who robbed his teammates of the glories for the evening by his delicate definition of the phrase "on the make."

"Well," he started, "It's when you're trying to get--" and then, blushing prettily, he blurted out, "It's when you start out the evening with a definite plan in mind."

But credit must be given where credit is due. Elliott Richardson, who described himself as "a lovely boy," garnered the top honors of all for the evening by guessing on all but one and a quarter of his questions. 'Poon prexy Coles Phinizy (pronounced to rhyme with Einstein) made up for his colleague, however, getting only a shade more than one and a quarter right.

Russell Bowie, ex-prex of the Lampoon and son of a CRIMSON president, disgraced his father by ending the evening with a distinctly mediocre score. Bowie made a brilliant start but became rattled after he had identified "Diamond Jim," "Big Jim," "Gentleman Jim," and "Lord Jim" as a certain well-known local character.

Professor Quiz, whose name in real life is Dr. Craig Earl, scored the contest on a somewhat different basis from that used by the CRIMSON scorer; his results were: CRIME 1350; Lampy 1150.

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