News

Pro-Palestine Encampment Represents First Major Test for Harvard President Alan Garber

News

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu Condemns Antisemitism at U.S. Colleges Amid Encampment at Harvard

News

‘A Joke’: Nikole Hannah-Jones Says Harvard Should Spend More on Legacy of Slavery Initiative

News

Massachusetts ACLU Demands Harvard Reinstate PSC in Letter

News

LIVE UPDATES: Pro-Palestine Protesters Begin Encampment in Harvard Yard

Yardling Dons Armor, Gets Ready For Mars Invasion

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

"I'm preparing for the invasion from Mars," said Lewis J. Vorhaus '44 as he walked into the Union yesterday noon wearing the dress of a Roman centurion with armored vest, sword and helmet.

"The invasion is inevitable," remarked Vorhaus. "Recent developments definitely show that the Martians will have a greater rocket fleet than all other forces combined. I suggest that Hitler and England form a coalition government and prepare for the worst."

Vorhaus found little case in eating his dinner. "I ought to have a vest that bends, yet can't be pierced. A can of oil would come in handy, too," he concluded. "This thing squeaks something awful."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags