News

Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor Talks Justice, Civic Engagement at Radcliffe Day

News

Church Says It Did Not Authorize ‘People’s Commencement’ Protest After Harvard Graduation Walkout

News

‘Welcome to the Battlefield’: Maria Ressa Talks Tech, Fascism in Harvard Commencement Address

Multimedia

In Photos: Harvard’s 373rd Commencement Exercises

News

Rabbi Zarchi Confronted Maria Ressa, Walked Off Stage Over Her Harvard Commencement Speech

Butts to the Squirrels

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Next to John Harvard, nature's greatest heritage to the Yard is the squirrel. Everyone loves the healthy, frolicking animals except a callous few who wantonly litter the steps of Widener, Sever, and Emerson with countless cigarette butts where uneducated squirrels are liable to find and sample the "filthy weed." Already small, Harvard squirrels are becoming alarmingly stunted as a result of this carelessness, and grey-haired mothers are frantic over the sudden shrinkage in squirrel stature. In response to a Crimson survey, one mother waspishly noted that the Yard was beginning to look like a trash heap and that she and other families were thinking seriously of finding more suitable homes.

Although a large force of men are employed each night to sweep up the cigarettes, the Yard presents a tempting nicotine dump for the greater part of the day. To squelch ugly rumors that elder squirrels are about to report this condition to the A.S.P.C.A. and the Sanitation Department, we must begin a campaign to eliminate the cigarette from squirrel culture. Several plainly marked, strategically placed butt cans and a conscientious effort on the part of the student body to keep their cigarettes off the ground would save the squirrel from the fate of the buffalo.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags