When's the Gravy Train Due? Or: The Eagle Flies the Coop

There's gold in the U. S. Treasury, and with it G.I.'s can learn to fly, dance, hoe potatoes, cut out paper dolls, or play tiddledy winks, but the University Information Office within whose ken passeth all things weren't so sure they had the answer to the telephone voice which said:

"I'm a vet and I haven't enrolled in Harvard University."

Yes?

"And I'm not a resident of Cambridge, either."

Yes?

"Well, I just wondered if there was any way I could use the G.I. Bill to join the Coop."

Oh, Mister B-e-n-d-e-r-!