Things are tough all over, even the subway are in a hole, and, according to Kenneth M. McCaw, field representative for the Nebraska State Safety Council, it's a good thing they are in a hole.
In an announcement to news scribes recently, McCaw stated that there was no use going west to escape maniacal professorial automobile drivers, for the morons of the sunset states are in a close second behind college professor as the worst and most dangerous drivers in the world.
"We find two kinds of poor drivers," he announced, "those whose IQ shows they can't read the read signs, and others whose IQ's are above 110. College professors are in the latter group. Investigation indicates that professors at the steering wheel permit their thoughts to dwell on matters other than driving."
McCaw's moral: "travel the MTA."