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Midnight Derby Lands Yard Police One Naked Freshman

Law Deems Harried Yardling Sleepwalker, Turns Spotlight On Union Coat-Tie Problem

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

They say that clothes make the man, but University authorities are only interested in seeing that they're on the man. And if we can judge by the last few days, the gendarmerie are having their little problems, again.

It all started when a harassed freshman fied his Yard room to study for an impending final, while his bon vivant roommate held a brief but boisterous testimonial to the temporary end of his own exams.

Naked, He Wished He Wuz Dead

Feeling at length the effects of fatigue, he determined to stretch out in a friend's room for the night rather than face the beery atmosphere of his own domicile. But upon emerging from a shower, he discovered that his traitorous friend had relieved him of all clothing. He had nothing on but the radio.

After a moment's hesitation, he attempted a flight for freedom to his room under cover of darkness. A Yard cop, however, spotted his pale form and cried halt. The barefaced freshman failed to stop, and the policeman, may several policemen, took off in hot pursuit.

Arrest That Man

His desperation was no defense, and the long arm of the law soon grabbed him where his lapel should be. But upon hearing of his plight they took pity. He was listed as a sleepwalker.

More urbane was the guy who resented the coat and tie rule at the Union. He made a test case of it. He wore a coat, and he wore a tie, but he left his pants at home, and no one batted an eye.

"We're only interested in protecting the morals of our serving girls," said a functionary. "As long as their coats go below the serving table, we don't care what them crazy freshmen wear."

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