News

Pro-Palestine Encampment Represents First Major Test for Harvard President Alan Garber

News

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu Condemns Antisemitism at U.S. Colleges Amid Encampment at Harvard

News

‘A Joke’: Nikole Hannah-Jones Says Harvard Should Spend More on Legacy of Slavery Initiative

News

Massachusetts ACLU Demands Harvard Reinstate PSC in Letter

News

LIVE UPDATES: Pro-Palestine Protesters Begin Encampment in Harvard Yard

Flying Seer Grounded on Ellis Isle; Zombie Stranded by McCarran Act

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

NEW YORK, N. Y., Oct. 26--Federal authorities today clapped Rumin Coak onto Ellis Island, claiming that the ashen-faced CRIMSON near could not enter the United States under the McCarran anti-subversives act.

With Coak held incommunicado, panic-stricken Crimeds were again at a loss to find a prognosticator for tomorrow's game. They have just 24 hours left.

James R. Gleason, assistant Chief of Customs for the Port of New York, pointed out that Cock was burned for wizardry in 1874 at his Haitiau villa. "Haiti may have been totalitarian in 1874," said Gleason, "for all we know."

Even on the flight from Port-AuPrince, Coak amazed reporters with his powers of divination. He prognosticated that the ceiling at Idlewild Airport would be 800 feet, which turned out to be wrong by only a yard and a half.

With the eight-foot zombie were all his worldly possessions: a hollow palmetto trunk tuned to b flat, a bulbous cast-iron kettle, three Hopalong Cassidy dolls and a package of insect-mounting pins, and a shrunken cannibal head, his own.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags