'Tis Indeed...

The latest stratagem employed by the Harvard Dramatic Club to advertise their production of "'Tis Pity She's a Whore" is a poster displaying Gothic arches. The arches lend an Elizabethan atmosphere and at the same time utilize perspective such that the word "whore" is barely visible to casual passers-by. If they could do it, the HDC would like to do away with this world altogether, since it has delayed printing orders, cancelled window displays, and prompted the hasty removal of posters from utility poles around the Square.

But finding a synonym would be difficult: "'Tis Pity She's a Paramour" or "'Tis Pity She's a Lady of the Evening" have neither the simplicity nor the zip of the original. It is too late now, but the HDC could have combined a tasteful community-wide promotion of the play with a provocative and money-making contest. Using an eye-catching photograph of the heroine and barring all English concentrators from the game, the contest posters might have looked something like this:

WHAT'S MY LINE?

"Tis Pity She's a--"

Buy a ticket to the HDC production and get in on the fun. Fill in the last word of this title and guess the attendance figure of opening night. $5 worth of merchandise to the seven lucky winners. Enter Now!!!

But all this is in the realm of pipe-dreams now. The HDC is unfortunately short of Idea Men these days.