Over the past summer, during those halcyon days when the University's better half is replaced by the short shorts set, Harvard changed her telephone number--it matters little why--and thereby precipitated a small crisis to which we propose a timely solution.
The trouble, of course, is that many people, uninformed of the latest of many recent changes, telephone the old number. Such is human frailty that men too often err; and such is University wisdom that a recorded announcement--spoken incidentally by a seductive female voice--directs the dialer to the correct number.
Harvard needs money, partly because she must pay for the cost of an improved telephone exchange. So we suggest that the administration make the best of an unpleasant situation by replacing a dull yet informative message by the following announcement:
GIRL: "The telephone number for Harvard College has been changed, but before I tell you what it is, here is a word from my sponsor."
VOICE: "Hard sell, soft sell, what shall it be? Hello, friend, this is Nathan Marsh Pusey, President of Harvard, with a reminder that American colleges will face difficult times in the years ahead. Help the college of your choice by contributing your dollars. American education and Harvard thanks you."
SECOND VOICE: "Yes, President Pusey, that is right. And remember folks, 'education' is spelt: A Program for Harvard College."
PUSEY: "Thanks, Mac."
OPERATOR: "Hello again. The new number is UN 8-7600."
MUSIC: The band signing off with "Fair Harvard."