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Dake It or Leave It

STEVE STETSON (11) Quarterback

By M. DEACON Dake

HOME: Laconia, New Hampshire

PREP SCHOOL: Laconia High

MAJOR: U.S. Geography

CAREER PLANS: Oceanography

NICKNAME: The Laughing Cow. So dubbed by his mother when he was 13, as the first noticed his strange table manners and unique eating technique. (Never caused Steve any embarassment outside the home until last year when he attended the Big Green's Hall of Fame Dinner in Hanover and he attempted to snatch up some rice pilaf from his plate. For the first time he could remember since junior high his grazing ability failed and he ended up with a snout full of red and white tablecloth. Not wishing to attract attention. Steve continued to munch away until he got to a hem he looked up. The people seated around the now bare table were staring at him. Retaining his composure after a slight telltale blush, he sliced down the seam and severed his connection with his meal, swallowed a mouthful of 99 per cent cotton, licked his chops, smacked his lips, wiped his mouth with the remaining cloth, sat back comfortably, and let out a satisfied burp. He asked to be excused and left to go to the Health Services. He had his stomach pumped and missed the Brown game.

MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT: "It would have to be this year's game against Princeton. The night before we were at training table at the Hanover Inn, everyone was having vanilla ice cream sundies, you know the kind they scoop not the bricks you get in the dining hall but as a joke they brought me a dish full of white napkins. Everyone laughed but I'm pretty far-sighted and I didn't notice what was wrong. Yea I started laughing too. I don't know why. I suppose cause everyone else was. I dug into the dessert--I thought it was pretty bland kind of mealy-like too. Everyone had stopped laughing by the time coach Crouthamel came over and mentioned my mistake after the first dish. And I had asked for seconds too. Can you beat that. I guess they were kinda shocked."

LAST BOOKS READ: The Zap Comic version of War in the Pasture: La Vache Qui Rit meets Elsie. Deep Throated Guernsey. The I Hate to Cook Cookbook, and the New Hampshire Farmers Guide to Better Milk Production in Holsteins.

PROFILE: Dedicated, Incisive. A real leader, on and off the field. ABC-TV offensive player of the game for his performance vs. Cornell last season. Voted "Gourmet of the Month" by Harvard Lampoon's parody of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine. A high school winner of the famed Betty Crocker Future Homemaker of America Award. Had a great season with the undefeated freshman team of 1969, completing 45 of 83 passes for 779 yards. Led the Ivy League in completion average last leason (.583).

FAVORITE DRINK: Big Green Rickey (a jigger of Creme de menthe spinach juice a time an olive and an immature grasshopper)

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