"When you're talking about getting married, you're living in two worlds," Jamie Potts, a senior in Lowell House, says. "That's what an engagement is--it's going public. Until you go public, you can't talk about it with others."
"We had friends who would ask, 'How are you,' in a nice plural sense; it was very probing," says Andrew Wolfe, a senior from Leverett House. Andrew and Jamie will be married on June 25 in Cleveland, where Jamie's family lives in a closely-knit Slavinian community.
"It means nothing to say. 'Well, we're going to get married,' unless you say, 'We're engaged.' Otherwise you're just playing around," Andrew says. "It makes it easier for our friends to deal with us. It makes our position clearer."
"There was a lot of tension, but the engagement ended it," Jamie agrees. "I'm glad we didn't wait longer."
The couple had originally planned to wait until Thanks giving of their junior year to get engaged; they met as freshman in Thayer North and started dating seriously that spring.
By December of their sophomore year, "we had a mutual understanding," Andrew recalls. But after Christmas, they stayed away from each other for about two weeks.
"It's hardest on the brink," Jamie says. "As you approach that, all your crises, all your considerations, begin hitting you at once. You have to start thinking about those things at once." They were engaged on January 31.
While Andrew and Jamie say they generally share similar views, they note that the reasons often vary. The issue of religious practice (both are Roman Catholics) provides a good example, Jamie says.
"I believe in obedience to higher ideals; I don't believe in monogrammed gods," she says.
"I take the teachings of the church very seriously," Andrew explains.
As a result, Jamie says. "We're both virgins. For Andrew, chastity is for obedience. For me, chastity is for purity. They're consistent, but the theme is different."
"I can feel as many urges as I want, but I consider otherwordly things to be more important.." Andrew says, "I don't intend to say, 'Yes, I value the Church,' and then break one of its least disputable rules."
For similar reasons, they never considered living together. Jamie says, "Marriage is a sacrimental grace, and if you're living together, you don't have that grace."
"In a way, living together would be a step backward." Andrew adds. "You're saying, 'Okay, we have a way out.'"
Jamie's responses 1 Sibley (Sibley): 2 Authority-manger (Not meeting my own standards), 3 Masterpiece Theater (Nova). 4 Air Force Pilot (Solon), 5 Tunisia (Tunisia).