Ten Questions of the Universe

Mark My Words

The Harvard football team's plunge from a pre-season favorite to capture a second-straight Ivy League championship to a league cellar-dweller has thrown my life out of balance. It has made me question the very foundation of society, even of science.

How can a team win the Ivy championship one year and return with essentially the same cast and be 1-3 in the league and 1-5 overall the next? What is it about the world, about science, that makes such a fall possible?

The failing fortunes of the Crimson gridders have made me question old principles, have made me doubt the assumptions I live by.

I present 10 questions that have been troubling me recently about the world of football and the world in general. I used to know the answers to all these questions. Now I am not so sure.

Is the Multiflex the greatest offense in the world?


Last year, when you heard Multiflex--the Harvard football team's offense--you thought miraculous. In the hands of quarterback Tom Yohe, running back Tony Hinz and company, the Multiflex dazzled, confused and ultimately destroyed opponents. Yohe operated the Multiflex like it was a strategic weapon, ready to level teams foolhardy enough to be on Harvard's schedule.

This year, the Multiflex produced seven points against Dartmouth (a team Harvard had defeated, 42-3, last year) and eight points against Princeton. Critics of the Multiflex have taken to the streets and are proclaiming, "The Emperor has no clothes. The Multiflex is a myth."

Does anyone read the Square Deal?

I used to think no one read this advertisement-laden publication. If you pick one up--and how often do you simply skip by the person who is handing them out, hands dug deeply in pockets?--you simply toss it in the nearest trash can.

Now, in the midst of my spirtual doubt, I'm wondering. Perhaps people read the Square Deal. Perhaps buried deep inside it is The Answer to All Questions. Perhaps the meaning of life has been sitting there all along, and I just haven't looked.

Is Alan Hall a decent kicker?

For a long time, I thought not. And I guess the Harvard coaching staff held the same view because last year he was benched in favor of Bruce Kotz, a fellow who looked more like a lineman than a kicker.

But this year, Hall has been--dare I say it?--good. He has made five of eight field goals and has converted all 12 extra-point attempts.

Can it be long before the New England Patriots, in desperate need of a decent foot, give a Hall a call?

Is George Bush a wimp?