Lampy Disgruntled by Article

To the Editors of The Crimson:

We at the Lampoon were extremely disturbed by the gross inaccuracies in your articles regarding activities at the Lampoon on December 14 ("Senior Arrested at Late-Night Lampy Party). Although your attempt to titillate the Harvard community came as no surprise it was nonetheless irresponsible reporting. First that "Dom DeLouise" thing, now this.

To begin with, at no point did I speak to a Crimson editor regarding the incident. Your article maintains that you attempted to contact me a number of times. I received only one message which in no way indicated that returning the call was urgent. Even if I had received repeated messages and attempted to reply it would have been an exercises in futility. As proven by the hack job which appeared on December 14, even the simplest facts are distorted when filtered through one of your overzealous first-year "reporters."

With this in mind, allow me to set the facts straight.

1. Drew Oliver, as you undoubtedly know, is always trying to "stab" people with knives, and means no harm. The police knew that; we all do.

2. As a member of the business staff, Drew Oliver is not a "frequent contributor."

3. Throwing initiates out the second floor window is a time-honored tradition at the Lampoon.

4. As for that woman on the chandelier, Linda wasn't "hanging" from the chandelier, she was chained to it. Some people like it like that. And if she likes it, hey, it's legal and it's none of your business.

Finally, congrats on the Marshall, Rebecca, we knew you'd get it too. It's nice to see a true yellow journalist rewarded. Allison G. Umminger '92   President, The Harvard Lampoon