Kiss Me, I'm Irish

Dear Norma,

This year I would like to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. How am I going to do this? Why, I'm going to wear the color green. I'm looking forward to it, except I am wondering, Norma, what particular shade of green is most appropriate? Kiss Me, I'm Irish in Kirkland

Dear Kiss Me,

Hats off to you for your enthusiasm and sense of fun. What a creative way to observe the St. Patrick's Day holiday.

The shade of green you want to wear is entirely dependent on what kind of image you want to project. Are you an earthy person? Then opt for a nice olive color, perhaps a pine green or even green; or if you're very excitable, I think a fluorescent green is such a thing as a "celery green." Enjoy yourself, and don't be afraid to experiment with "sea green" or "Kelly green" accessories to your St. Patrick's Day ensemble.

Hey norma!

Had enough? Well you ain't seen nothin' yet--the Captain's just warming up to a spicy spring semester! This week I've been spending a lot of time in the stacks of Widener--researching human anatomy! Norma, I challenge you to find a study carrel where the Captain hasn't been schoolin'!   Captain XY, Esq.

Dear captain XY,

Is it not enough that you wreak havoc in your own environment--wherever that may be? Must you corrupt this University's hallowed temple of knowledge, Widener Library? Hary Elkins is surely rolling in his watery grave. Please, at least have the courtesy to be quiet so that you and your study partner do not disturb others who want to research in peace. I am worried about you, Captain. Your "extracurriculars" must be taking time away from your studies. Please accept some responsibility. For instance, I see that you did not send a photo of yourself, like I had asked you last week.

Dear Norma

There's a girl in my section I'd like to get to know better. The only problem is that I don't know how to approach her. It's not because I'm afraid of the cheesy "So. I like what you said about A Doll's House" line either. That'd be fine. I can't talk to her about anything from section because I haven't done any of the reading. A great barrier, no? I think we might get along, too. We have many of the same friends, you see. That's no problem. In fact she lives next door to me in the dorm. I mean, I guess we could always stoop to talking about high school (we went to the same one). But I just can't take the first step. Do you know any Ibsen?   Slacking in Stoughton

Dear Slacking,

Section isn't the best way to meet someone anyway. It can be very forced. Just keep your section contact simple: smile politely and nod a lot at what she says. Maybe you could ask to study together for your midterm. A study session is a very solid base to work from if other connections are tenuous.

Dear Norma,

I live up in the Mather highrise, and the view is great. Too great. I can see into open windows all over campus. Unfortunately, there's this guy who reads his Crimson in the nude. I won't say what House this guy's in to spare him. This fellow is in one of my classes. Should I tell him that people in Mather are seeing the Crimson's full frontal page?   Embarassed in Mather

Dear Mather

By no means should you tell this person to his face. Perhaps you could take a picture with a good lens and then poster the Yard. This is a far less confrontational way to gently inform him, and it avoid what would be several very awkward moments.