Parting Gifts

Miller Time!

As graduation day nears, and the 1994-95 sports season winds down, there will depart Cambridge a talented group of seniors that has accomplished as much as any senior class in recent memory. But they deserve much more than just accolades, so I have decided to leave them a little something extra. In fact, if I were to pass from this world today, I would leave to each and every one of them something, if I could.

Thus, without further adieu, I reveal MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT:

To Tammy Butler, I leave an Ivy League Championship ring she always deserved. For Harvard's all-time leading scorer, three time all-Ivy selection, and an Academic All-American to boot, she deserves one, and close enough should count in this instance. Butler jumped into the leadership role on a team that was desperately looking for someone to take command at the beginning of the season. Never before, in my opinion, will a Harvard sports program miss an individual as much as women's basketball will miss Tammy Butler.

To Andrew Rueb, I leave a long wig of blonde hair. With his impending professional tennis career, tennis is now in need of another flashy, brash tennis pro--now that Agassi has gone the way of the razor. Wouldn't that be perfect? The first Harvard player to garner a big-time endorsement, as he appears playing tennis on the streets of New York City against Sampras, all the while sporting his "Yuck Fale" t-shirt.

To Sarah Winters, I leave a purple heart and a lifetime supply of ice packs. So many times she has been seen on the field or in the training room, grittily overcoming her injuries and yet continuing to pour in goal after goal in field hockey and lacrosse. Even with broken noses and countless contusions, she lives and dies for her sports.


To Bo Bernhard, I leave a full-page ad in the Harvard Crimson. Bernhard, one of Harvard's unsung heroes, should tell the world what he has accomplished here, but he'd be too modest to use it. So, I'd just leave him a coaching job at Harvard. He exemplifies the quiet leader in soccer and baseball, and this year he finally received accolades for the soccer team's success.

To Libby Eynon, I leave an extra trophy case for this year's squash awards, a U-Haul truck to carry them away, and an in-home squash court so that she can continue to amaze all those who watch her play. She went from 7th nationally to 5th to 3rd and finally 1st this year. She also led Harvard to an Ivy League and national championship, so I guess a portion of her trophy case should be left here for all to gaze in awe.

To Jamie Ames, I leave a goalie's lacrosse stick, so that all he can do is pass--to increase his assist output (he just scores too many goals!) I also leave a Boston Blazers jersey, so that one night he can slip into the lineup and show the professional lacrosse league just what he can do.

To Genevieve Chelius and Megan Colligan, I leave an extra year of eligibility, so that they may return and lead lacrosse and soccer to two national championships next year. Alright, I can't do that, so I'll just leave them unlimited train tickets to Cambridge, so that they can return often and teach all those who come after them just what the meaning of success is. After all, three NCAA tournament bids can't be all wrong.

And finally, to Steve Martins, I leave 1000 "I told you so" cards, to be sent to all of his disbelievers. He heard those voices four years ago, and he's hearing them again. But the time will come, when he will need those cards, and then he will sit back and smile as he sends them all away.