News

The Path to Public Service at SEAS

News

Should Supreme Court Justices Have Term Limits? That ‘Would Be Fine,’ Breyer Says at Harvard IOP Forum

News

Harvard Right to Life Hosts Anti-Abortion Event With Students For Life President

News

Harvard Researchers Debunk Popular Sleep Myths in New Study

News

Journalists Discuss Trump’s Effect on the GOP at Harvard IOP Forum

Burglars Bagged in 'Poon Palace

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Two students were caught Saturday night breaking into the castle of the Harvard Lampoon, a semi-secret Bow Street social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine, according to Harvard Police.

The students, Daniel C. Allen '97 of Lowell House and Andrew A. Green '98 of Pforzheimer House, who are both Crimson editors, did not take anything from the building, according to police records.

'Poonster Erin J. Kneehaz '96 said he was in the castle during the break-in and, as any good citizen would, notified the proper authorities before taking action into his own hands.

"I heard a noise upstairs and was very concerned that an errant intruder might disturb the Lampoon editors busy at work putting out the next day's issue," Kneehaz said.

Upon opening the door, Kneehaz said he saw a white male wearing a blue windbreaker "running like hell."

Kneehaz said he pursued the man on foot as far as Leverett House before returning to the castle.

Allen, who police records indicate was the man Kneehaz pursued, denied any involvement in the incident at the castle, saying he was merely out for his evening constitutional.

"I often go running late at night while carrying bolt-cutters," Allen said. "And I find screaming 'I didn't do it; I didn't do it' to be an excellent motivational tool while I exercise."

When Kneehaz returned to the castle, he said he found Green walking down the stairs of the turret carrying the large, glass case that houses the Lampoon ibis, a stuffed, dead bird meant to symbolize the state of the Lampoon organization.

"Mr. Green was trying to take Mr. Ibis," Police Chief Francis D. "Bud" Riley said yesterday.

But members of the 'Poon would not be 'pooned.

"He tried to confuse me by telling me he had saved our sacred symbol from the evil forces of The Crimson, but I saw right through his Jedi ways," Kneehaz said.

Green refused to comment on the incident, saying only that he believes the facts speak for themselves.

"I have faith that whoever writes the story of that night will find the truth, and the truth will be my word and my salvation," Green said late last night.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags