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War Looms as Adams, Pforzheimer Clash

Interhouse restrictions spark declaration of hostilities

By Eli. M. Alper, Contributing Writer

Unable to resolve their dispute over interhouse dining privileges diplomatically, Adams and Pforzheimer House residents have resorted to war.

The Adams House Committee officially declared "war" on its rival Monday night, citing Pforzheimer residents' violations of "sovereign territory with their infiltrations into our dining hall."

In addition to the formal declaration of war, believed to be the first among House communities in recent memory, Adams also declared Pforzheimer its "colony" and has confiscated its use of the letters "Pf." Adams now refers to its enemy as "orzheimer."

Copies of the formal declaration, drafted by "The Pfirst Gold Coast War Congress of PfAdams House," were posted in Pforzheimer Monday night.

Jesse A.S. Conrad '00, president of the Adams House Committee and now named Adams Minister of War, said war was first discussed after the Pforzheimer House Committee considered banning Adams residents from eating in their House.

The proposal, which was voted down 23-16, was made in response to Adams' increased enforcement of its own restricted dining policy, using stickers placed on Adams students ID cards to prevent interhouse dining during peak lunch, dinner and brunch hours.

"We took this as quite an affront that they'd attempt to legislate against us without representation," Conrad said.

Conrad dismissed the fact that Pfo-Ho residents were not represented in Adams's own decision to restrict dining.

"We have our rules for us and other rules for other people," she said.

Manuel A. Garcia '00, president of the Pforzheimer committee, called the House's failed proposal to ban Adams residents a "symbolic gesture" and said Adams' sticker policy was "immature."

Garcia said he will resubmit the proposal, and he expects it to pass the second time around.

Other issues related to the inter-House war, including an official response to the Adams war declaration, were addressed at last night's War Council meeting in Pfo-Ho.

Garcia said he wasn't surprised at Adams' colonization attempt.

"That just characterizes the view of the River Houses of the Quad Houses," Garcia said. "We're fighting for the entire Quad."

According to the Adams declaration of war, Pforzheimer must comply with Adams' numerous demands, including required "remedial pfonics classes" and completing all section response papers for Adams students. Otherwise, "the Grand Army of the Gold Coast" will be prepared to "battle" the forces of Pforzheimer on the Radcliffe Quad.

Conrad said the action may include relay races, contests of "capture the flag" and other games.

Both sides are confident of swift victory if battles do occur.

"We have some operatives already within Pfo-Ho," Conrad said. "We've got the brains on our side."

"I think that generally Adams House isn't as unified," Garcia countered. "I think we will have 100 people [at the battle], while they will have ten."

Conrad said if Adams somehow loses, it will give free tickets for the upcoming Adams House Masquerade dance to all Pforzheimer residents.

If Adams does prove victorious, their imperialist ambitions may not end there.

"Once we take over Pforzheimer, it's quite clear that we're going to take over the entire Quad," Conrad said.

The two Houses have maintained some diplomatic contact. A meeting between House leaders is scheduled for Friday at 1 p.m.

Brandon P. Jones '00 , co-chair of the Cabot House Committee, said his House was not intimidated.

"Adams House can play their little game," Jones said, said. "They ain't got a chance against Cabot."

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