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“It’s been a while,” Britney says. “I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting. But I’m here now.”
Cue comeback. Cut to Britney lip-synching, dancing, and looking as toned and beautiful as she did in the 90s. Just kidding. Brit’s not even in this video.
“Break the Ice,” the new single off Spears’ album “Blackout,” follows animated Super Britney as she fights off evil robots and runs around a futuristic world to the up-tempo beat of the track.
But her signature panting riffs make the viewer guess that maybe this song isn’t about fighting robotic enemies at all. If you listen closely, you can hear Spears sing, “Can you rise to the occasion? I’m patiently waiting because it’s getting late. And I can’t get enough. So let me get it up.” It sounds more like Viagra is the most potent weapon against Britney’s enemies.
Trust me, I’m rooting for the girl, too. I like the electropop tone of the song, and given her current condition (the image of Britney giggling maniacally as she’s being carried out of her house strapped to a stretcher will forever be burned in my head), a Spears-less video was probably the only choice her record company had. But compared to her previous videos, “Break the Ice” is disappointing, and the “to be continued…” at the end suggests we can expect only more of the same.
—Victoria D. Sung
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