Habitat for a hangover

Alcohol can sometimes tear apart homes. But this weekend, it built them. At the Habitat for Humanity beer pong tournament in the PfoHo Bell Tower this Saturday, there was one principle—for every cup you make, God will send Stephen W. Piatelli ’10 to build a house for a poor person. FM paid the $10 entry fee and became one of the 32 teams in the tournie. Righteousness ensued.

9:30 p.m.—Game time. Our first opponents’ training and preparation? “I showered,” says Jessica S. Lin ’09, a former Crimson associate photo chair. The atmosphere of the game play is one of godliness, philanthropy, and non-competitiveness. We crush them utterly.

9:53 p.m.—“We watched ‘Gladiator’ and flipped through the fight scenes to prepare,” says our next opponent, Christopher H. Miller ’10. We come out victorious, however. Sinking the last cup feels much like how, I imagine, Congress felt when it founded the Peace Corps.

10:12 p.m.—In the losers’ bracket, Yuan F. Liu ’09 is effuse with the glow of good works. “We connect to the people we’re helping through the beer,” Liu said, speaking with the calm of a saint. “Losing for charity is winning.”

10:46 p.m.—We take shots before taking our shots. My body feels swirly.

11:02 p.m.—The vodka is flowing, perhaps explaining our next opponents’ team name, “Team Hungry Hungry Habitat for Humanity”. I take the rebuttal—I sink it! BAM! I am the Mother Teresa of beer pong.

11:15 p.m.— Are the finals more relaxed since it’s for charity? “No. In fact, I feel more competitive,” says our opponent Paul T. Hedrick ’10, a Crimson sports editor and experienced bro-ponger. “This event is as bro as an event can be,” he explains. “I feel bro playing for charity.”

We lose. But leaving the tournament, I feel good. For once on a Saturday night, I don’t just feel drunker-than-thou.