This wasn’t how I expected to spend my 21st birthday. But it was October, and given the lockdowns, pickings for a venue were slim. I’ve never been good at making decisions, and I certainly wasn’t going to start now — so I searched “restaurants near me” on Google and chose the closest one. My friends and I loaded into the car and drove off into the night. We got on I-195 and pulled up to our destination. Masks covering our faces, we entered Applebee’s.
When my parents suggested we take daily walks together as a family early in the morning, I leapt at the opportunity — here was another chance to fill up my day. But as the walks swung unpredictably from 20 minutes to a full hour, as we wandered from one end of the neighborhood to the next, baking under the hot Jersey sun, the walks became more than just another invite in the Calendar. Life was expanded to include the routes between.
Soliciting laughs at the expense of our struggles can be hilarious, but every now and then we ought to adopt a more positive outlook and foster actually productive discussions. The morose tunnel of dark humor can have a faint light at the end of it too.
I think a lot about how easily tempted I was. A letter, an envelope, a particularly melodramatic delivery system, and all arguments, statistics, and Crimson exposés vanished from memory. I was a little disappointed in myself, but mostly, I was confused. I consider myself a relatively secure person. I like my life here, sans final clubs. How could I hate everything about what they are and what they represent, yet still be tempted?