Flyby's Guide to Freshman Formal

By Sophia Wen

As we reach the finish line of a year full of aggressive pseting and regrettably getting in touch with your inner Lamonster, you may have just forgotten how to be a normal human in a social setting. Especially all you freshmen out there, who probably still haven’t quite figured out how to non-awkwardly navigate the social scene. Freshman Formal quickly approaching (read, it’s tomorrow) and Flyby’s here to help prevent you from making a fool of yourself.

The “date event” myth:
Freshman Formal is not a date event. Trust us, even if your roommates say otherwise. For the stubborn ones out there who refuse to take this advice, we have some advice for you to nonchalantly get your date without getting brutally rejected . Ask the cutie in your Stat 104 section what dinner time slot they signed up. Be casual about it. A simple: “wow, I think I’m going to get my Pset done by six so I can go to the 7 p.m. dinner. How about you?” Smooth, we know.

Keep your Prom Dress at home:
It’s true, the word formal can be a little misleading, but this does not mean that you should whip out your prom dress to go to berg. Instead, go for a more “I woke up like this” look. An old cocktail dress or a casual long dress will do. Chances are you have already taken pictures with your prom dress and they are all over your Instagram, Facebook, and Tinder profile anyway, so best to not be known as an outfit repeater.

The “tent” issue:
You would think that, after paying $25 for a ticket, freshman formal would be held at the Charles Hotel. But no. Instead, formal will take place under a tent in the Science Center plaza. Yes, the same setup as the Farmer’s Market. Chances are the heat, humidity, and high testosterone levels will leave you looking less than ideal. Flyby recommends that you channel your inner basicness to utilize time before the formal begins to get a quality insta picture.

The mumps struggle:
For those of you hoping that freshman formal is almost as sloppy as First Chance Dance, think again. The mumps are very much still a thing. If you see a long-lost entryway mate or that kid from Expos in the fall, go for a high five instead of a hug. If you find yourself with the girl/boy of your dreams in your arms and can’t resist the urge to kiss them, take standard precaution and check their salivary glands first.

There you have it, follow these simple guidelines and Freshman Formal will be everything you ever dreamed it would be. Or, for upperclassmen, you can now laughably look back upon all the mistakes your freshman self made.

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