Dude, That's Rude: Parties

It’s a Friday night (or a Thursday night, if you’re particularly wild), and you’re ready to do things you’ll either regret or forget. No night out goes off without a hitch, though. Not only does Harvard have a complicated social scene, there’s always that one person who can turn a banger into a bummer. This one’s for those rude folks.

By Tovly L. Deutsch

“Sorry, we’re at capacity.”

You yourself know this is the biggest lie you’ve ever told. Your frat house is barely full and the party’s only just started, but the bros left you in charge of weeding out the girls who aren’t hot enough and actually go here instead of Wellesley. You figure this is the nicest way to put it. Hint: We see right through you and your boat shoes.

The Elbows and Knees Dancer

We’ll say this as gently as we can. You are a danger to everyone around you. Whether it’s your flailing arms or your ponytail whipping around, your moves are this close to taking someone’s eye out. No matter how much you love to pop and lock and jam, you really have to rein it in. Or take it to a corner of the party.

The 2 a.m. Party ‘Source’

You assure the handful of people around you that you know where to go despite the fact that most parties are winding down. And then...you lead them on a wild goose chase that’s a FOP-level trek through Cambridge before finally saying the party’s ‘over.’ What’s that, you say? You’re sorry? Tell that to all the people who followed you in high-heeled shoes.

The Ambiguous Boston-Area Student

You loiter by a side door to Adams and wait for someone to swipe you in. You refer to the Quad by its street address—where the heck is Linnaean Street? But we don’t fault you for that. You’re the one who does all the rude things on this list in addition to not even going here, and then you complain—in clear earshot of Harvard students—about how bad the parties here are. Yeah, the door’s that way, buddy!

Odds are you’ve been a victim of at least one of these churls. But if you recognize yourself in any of these behaviors, let us be hopefully the last to tell you: Dude, that's rude.