Prospects Post Datamatch

By Alana M Steinberg

So you went on some steamy Datamatches, you added them on Snapchat, and they never responded to your 2 a.m. “wyd?” message. Devastating, but in the words of Kelly Clarkson, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Now you’re back at square one, so what’s a person to do? Don’t worry — we’ve got some ways for you to shoot your shot, this time without the help of the Harvard Computer Society.

Slide into your lecture crush’s DM’s

Next time you’re sitting in Economics of Big Data, say hi to the cutie who you sit several empty seats away from. Maybe ask them how their day is going. Maybe airdrop them a meme if the lecture is particularly boring and you’re feeling particularly brave. It’s amazing what a simple “hi” can do.

Beg your friends to set up a date for you

Sure, you may never have met your friend’s linkmate’s study buddy, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t your soulmate. Use your friends as matchmakers and demand that they send your number to every person who sounds remotely interesting. This is what people mean when they talk about all of Harvard’s incredible resources. If your friends start to run out of ideas, you can always try LinkedIn.

Swipe, and swipe some more

Tinder was made for a reason. Sure, you’re (once again) putting your romantic future in the hands of a computer, but who’s to say it won’t work out this time? Don’t forget to include “Harvard [your class]” in your bio, and make sure you list out all your impressive achievements, that way everyone will know just how cool you really are.

Set up a ~totally unplanned~ meet cute

Go sit in a coffee shop and read an old romance novel, looking interesting and approachable. Or drop all your books in front of a hottie who you can charm with your clumsiness and intelligence. If all else fails, move to Paris and stroll the streets in a trench coat, looking longingly out over the Seine. Romance movies are real life, right?

A dead end Datamatch isn’t the end of the world. You’ll live to date again, and there’s no time like the present to get back into the ring. And if all else fails, remind yourself that as long as you love yourself, you’ll never be completely without love.

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