How To: Recreate a Day at Harvard on Club Penguin
8:00 AM - Didn’t think anything could be more irritating to wake up to than the Memorial Church bells? The Club Penguin background music will prove you wrong. And with the same absolute lack of heating, your igloo will feel just like a Harvard dorm!
8:15 AM - Just like Berg, the Iceberg is either empty or completely packed. When you head over for breakfast, read The Club Penguin Times in place of The Crimson, and check your “emails” (mail) to distract from the sounds of penguins drilling to tip the Iceberg.
8:45 AM - After you finish eating and catching up on current events, head back to your igloo where a confused tourist (puffle) has followed you. Luckily for you, unlike tourists, puffles can’t ask you for directions.
8:50 AM - Grab your laptop using the code “ONLINESAFETY."
8:55 AM - Replicate falling off your scooter on your rush to class by playing a game of Sled Racing.
9:00 AM - It’s time for your first class — Astronomy at the top of the Lighthouse. Use the telescope to gaze at the sea and pretend that expanse of blue is the starry night sky.
10:15 AM - While walking to the next class, you can listen to your favorite bops. Just type “E” then “T” to get the music note icon, and it’ll be almost like you’re wearing Airpods. Only there’s no Pro version here.
10:30 AM - Next up, it’s time for your favorite nondescript science class (LS50? Orgo? Something that includes weather maps?) Just like a real STEM class, this one does require a good bit of effort. First, get a friend (or a random penguin) to send you an invite to join the Elite Penguin Force, or EPF. Then, you can take the test to join this top secret group, and finally, you’ll gain access to this snazzy seminar-style room.
11:45 AM - Even on Club Penguin you won’t have time to grab a full meal yet, so get your caffeine fix by playing the Beans game inside the coffeeshop. Try not to get crushed under the weight of your responsibilities.
12:00 PM - Time for work! Now’s your chance to show off all that Harvard (or Club Penguin) knowledge by becoming a tour guide. There may not be a Widener Library to tell Titanic anecdotes about, but I’m sure there’s still plenty of tourists and/or extremely curious highschoolers around. Don’t forget the iconic hat!
3:00 PM - You’ve got some time before dinner, so it’s the perfect opportunity to squeeze in some studying in “Lamont” like the good Harvard student you are. While no Club Penguin building can truly capture the soul-crushing aura of everyone’s favorite all-nighter location, you can at least get close to it with the brown walls and strange lighting on the top floor of the Coffee Shop.
5:30 PM - Hope you’re excited to treat yourself! Tonight, grab some friends and go out on the town for a delicious, carb-loaded dinner at the Pizza Parlor in the Plaza. These slices may be virtual, but they’ve still got me feeling nostalgic for a night at Noch’s.
7:00 PM - You’ve finished dinner and it’s a Friday night, so why not go watch a hockey game? Skip the long walk over the river to the athletic fields and waddle right on over to Club Penguin’s own ice rink. Here’s your chance to fill the void left by every sport being cancelled!
9:00 PM - After a victory by Harvard’s team, you feel in the mood for celebrating! Forget the Mather JCR or the Lowell Underground, the Nightclub has everything you could possibly need to have a great time. Good music? Fun lighting? Lots of penguins doing the exact same dance? Might as well be Yardfest!
10:00 PM - Whether you planned to go intentionally or sort of just ended up there, the Quad is the last stop for any Harvard Friday night. But no matter how many times you’ve made the journey before, every trip has you answering the question “Are you lost?” with a resounding yes. If you want to relive doubting your Google Maps skills like never before, the Iceberg is your destination.
10:30 PM - Just like navigating your way to the Pfoho Igloo, flipping the Club Penguin Iceberg requires assistance from others. However, you won’t have to approach an upperclassmen working on a pset in the dhall or walking around in their pajamas. To tip the iceberg, 30 penguins need to wear a hard hat and drill during certain events. After enough penguins are drilling, it will tip over to the opposite side to reveal a dance floor and an exclusive item, the item is dependent on the event.
12:00 AM - The Recycling Plant, a room that traps you in a loading loop during certain events, is definitely reminiscent of the confusion you’ll experience walking home from the Quad. For both experiences, just when you think you’ve found your way out, you’ll realize you’re back where you started. The fake loading bar resets after finishing with the text changing every few seconds. The key to leaving the room is walking out of frame.
12:30 AM - You’ve had a full g-cal’s worth of things to do today, and now it’s finally time to catch some Z’s back home in your igloo. Although we may be away from Harvard, there are still plenty of creative ways to ~virtually~ follow your usual on-campus routines. After all, Club Penguin combines your favorite parts of campus with a touch of childhood nostalgia, AND with penguins instead of Canada Geese!