An Ode to Dorm Houseplants

By Courtesy of GIPHY

Death By Fire


It’s chilly, baby.

I warmed you up;

The heater burned you cold.

Death by Rain

Hydrated queen.

I water you with White Claw.

Suddenly you’re drowning,

and I miss you.

Death by Love

Her name is Hermione,

bellis perennis.

She gave her life

to be a bouquet.

For a pre-med

Who didn’t want me back.

Death by Silence

Why didn’t you call me?

Ask for water?

Ask for food?

You used to BeReal,

And now you BeDead.

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