Because midterms season just simply isn’t enough.

Halloween is upon us, which means it’s officially time to trade your psets for pumpkin carving, your iced matcha for pumpkin spice lattes, and your already questionable roommate relationships for something a little more sinister.

But why spend $50 on a haunted house when you can turn your very own Harvard dorm into one? After all, nothing screams horror like the sound of your roommate returning from Lamont at 3 a.m., armed with Celsius and the crushing realization that their midterm is in six hours. With that in mind, here’s some inspo for going all the way and truly making their Halloween the scariest it can be:

1. Change Their Alarm to the Canvas Notification Sound.

Forget creaking floorboards and ghostly whispers. The most terrifying sound known to Harvard students is the unmistakable notification that a new assignment has been posted. Wait until your roommate is peacefully enjoying their first eight hours of sleep since move-in, then play the Canvas notification sound from your phone. For an extra scare, follow it up with, “Submission Comment.”

2. Leave a Mysterious Note From the Administrative Board.

Slip a piece of paper under your roommate’s door reading, “We need to discuss an incident.” No additional context. Just the ominous suggestion that someone, somewhere knows something. Watch as your roommate mentally retraces every questionable decision they’ve made since freshman orientation, from that suspiciously collaborative pset to the time they accidentally walked out of Annenberg with a fork. For legal reasons, make it very clear afterward that this was a joke. Preferably before they start drafting an apology email to the dean.

3. Tell Them Their Ex is in Close Proximity.

This one is really spooky. Especially given how small the campus is, this is high-key a very real possibility. Tell your poor, innocent roommate that you just saw Mr. “Do Not Call” in your entryway. Nothing screams psychological warfare like torturing someone who has finally recovered from their situationship, deleted the photos, and convinced themselves they’re entering their mysterious, emotionally unavailable era.

4. Remind Them that Their GenEd is Capped.

Nothing strikes fear into a Harvard student's heart more than the possibility that their beloved GPA-booster might not actually boost their GPA. Wait until your roommate has spent half the semester bragging about their “Easy A” GenEd, which they’ve attended roughly four times and exclusively while online shopping. The real horror here is that they would have to actually start doing their readings.

Of course, if none of these tricks work, there’s always one foolproof way to terrify your Harvard roommate: remind them that Halloween falls right in the midst of midterm season, internship applications, IB recruiting, and all that jazz. Who needs ghosts when you have the existential dread of being a Harvard undergraduate?

Happy haunting, flyby. And remember: The scariest thing in your dorm might just be your unread emails.