PopUp Bagels holds a special place in our hearts. And stomachs. As New York and New Jersey natives, we’ll be the first to tell you that there is no greater joy than a darn good tristate bagel, especially when it's freshly toasted and paired with a heap of fluffy cream cheese. Luckily, PopUp and their inventive concoctions have been there for us as we attempt to chase the nostalgic high of that first time we switched from regular cream cheese to scallion cream cheese #mindblowing. Sunday after Sunday, our board looks forward to the art of “grip, rip, and dip” as we taste-test the specialty schmears, eagerly anticipating what will come next.

Alas, to the detriment of our taste buds, the Shirley Temple schmear from Valentine’s lasted far too long (not that this is a hate ~schmear~ campaign), but we know PopUp can do so much better. To help PopUp get out of this funk, we thought it would be exciting to come up with some new flavors — but with a Harvard twist!

1. Red’s Best Catch Schmear

Who needs bagels and lox when you could have bagels and Red’s Best Catch? Salmon is overrated anyway — we’ll take what Red’s hauled in any day of the week. This is going to be a savory schmear, think cream cheese blended with flaky whitefish, a squeeze of lemon, fresh dill, and just enough capers to make you feel like you’re brunching in New York instead of stress-eating in Lamont as the Sunday Scaries hit. It’s got all the sophistication of a classic lox bagel without the price tag that makes you cry a little inside. Red’s Best Catch schmear is basically the farm-to-table brand moment PopUp has been waiting for — sustainable and catchy.

2. Arroz con Pollo Schmear

Sure, we just complained about eating chicken with rice every day for lunch, but arroz con pollo is a different ballpark entirely. It’s seasoned. And while we know that PopUp already branched out to the chicken multiverse by collabing with Wingstop and creating a bussin’ Lemon Pepper Schmear, we’re honestly due for round two, but with a more classic twist. It would kind of give a chicken salad feel, but sub out the mayo for hearty rice. What could go wrong?

3. Barilla Protein Pasta Schmear

Okay, on the lowest of keys, HUDS really pulled out the big one by introducing Barilla protein pasta into the daily meal rotation. It has saved us single-handedly on days when we cannot stomach another piece of grilled chicken with a side of brown rice. At least now with a healthy serving of Barilla pasta and vodka sauce, our plates look less like I’m-in-my-bulking-era and more like I-love-fun-protein-maxing. So what better way to celebrate these new dining lifestyle changes than to create a schmear that can win over the gym bros and almond moms in one fell swoop. At the sight of the word protein, they’re bound to forget about the carbohydrates they previously harped on about.

4. Beef forTaco Schmear

She’s a staple. Beef forTaco is an iconic part of the HUDS experience, and frankly, it deserves its love. This will be a taco-seasoning-flavored schmear — cream cheese whipped with cumin, chili powder, and a little garlic, mixed with seasoned beef crumbled for the full Beef forTaco experience. Beef forTaco? More like Beef forBagel now. You’ve got yourself a cross-cultural fusion schmear that may be a little unconventional — but will definitely change your life. For the better? Unsure. But we’re certain your life will change.

5. Carnival Cookie Butter

There is no better dessert than a HUDS carnival cookie — that is a hill that we will die on. It’s the perfect mid-class snack to pull out of your bag, with the sugar rush instantly helping you wake up and lock in on what your professor has been saying. It’s not basic like its chocolate chip sibling, and not too sweet like its fudge brownie cousin. It is the perfect Goldilocks medium, and the perfect new butter to replace PopUp’s much-too-sweet Dessert Bowl Butter, which literally had everything but the kitchen sink. Carnival Cookie Butter would be very demure, with just a hint of semi-sweet colored chocolate candies fueling your weekend Smith Center lock-in.

As self-proclaimed PopUp Bagels consultants, we’re sure that these schmears and butters will have their B2B sales skyrocketing in no time. Gone are the days of boring coffee chats — all the kids want nowadays are fun bagel outings with even more fun dips. If no one from PopUp HQ is reading this, we at least hope we’ve given our peers something to marinate on as they look for inspiration for new HUDS recipes. Some food for thought, if you will :)