In the spirit of all things beautiful and sacred, we’ll be keeping this super short and sweet. No TL;DR needed. Just six of the best practices for being the best (mid) version of yourself!

1. Bad handwriting

Listen, we’re not saying you should make your writing illegible to the point where you can’t even decipher it yourself as you flip through annotated lecture handouts pre-midterm. But surely there’s some happy medium we can strike between stunning calligraphy and kindergarten scribbles. Not everyone has to know cursive. Stop being such a try-hard when it comes to an already dying art. Be you, in all your imperfect prose glory.

2. Not having your TF’s GCal memorized for office hours

This seriously should not be a thing. Like, why on God’s green earth do you know that Tom is always in Lamont Cafe from 7-9 p.m. on Wednesdays working on his dissertation? Especially when his formal office hours are on Fridays at 10:30 a.m….Have some work-life balance, please. You don’t get extra brownie points in life knowing where your TF is at all times. Be happy with having a mediocre office hours streak or, frankly, not even knowing when they’re held in the first place #thisisasafespace.

3. Excited to announce…I’m taking a break

You know we’re cooked as a generation when you tell a friend, “oh, I think I’m gonna take a break,” and they look at you like you just said you hate Punch the Monkey. I promise you no pset or group study session is ever that serious. You’re literally going to forget the information anyway, so why not prioritize taking a mental health doomscroll, napping, or even rewarding yourself with Berryline for doing absolutely nothing? Existing is hard, guys. Don’t make it harder by being your own worst enemy <3.

4. Debate, science olympiad, curing cancer? Nah, just vibes.

Before college, everyone here somehow managed to be a varsity athlete, a world-class musician, the editor-in-chief of their school newspaper, and a cancer researcher on the side. Let’s leave that energy behind in high school. Quality over quantity, guys. Just do things that you enjoy, not because they’ll give you an MBB or investment banking offer. Who even cares about grad school right now? God forbid, I want to enjoy the only four years of college that I’ll get before I end up as a cog in the machine.

5. Not being musically inclined in the slightest

It feels like everyone around us was born with an angelic voice or incredible musical ability. Meanwhile, we’re over here, tone-deaf, with our musical knowledge limited to playing recorder in 4th grade. And you know what? That’s completely fine. Not everyone needs to be in a world-touring a cappella group, play three instruments, or have a SoundCloud. Some of us are simply meant to be audience members, and honestly, the world needs us too. We’re content to just show up and watch our friends' incredible talents shine on stage. Our shower-only vocal performances are just as valid, and the acoustics are just like Sanders Theater.

6. Washing your sheets twice a semester

Look, we get it. You’re busy. Between psets, existential crises, and trekking between Lamont and your dorm, laundry just doesn’t make the cut. And frankly, the twice-a-semester wash schedule is more common than anyone wants to admit. Nobody is giving out awards for fresh bedsheets. And remember — you’re not behind on chores, you’re just an optimizer of your own time and energy.

For all of you experiencing a bout of imposter syndrome, a) twinnem and b) it will get better. Trust. The proof is in the pudding of all those cringy Pinterest slogans Facebook moms constantly repost. “You are capable of hard things.” “You are smarter than you think.” “You’ve done it before, and you will do it again.” True, true, and especially true. But if you can’t seem to believe it just yet, try being mediocre for a bit. Think of it like a trial period — a perfect excuse to slow down for once in your life.