THE Cornell Era has a very just complaint against the Trustees of the village of Ithaca. It appears that a number of roughs were in the habit of assembling to watch the base-ball and foot-ball games of the Cornell students. The language and demeanor of the roughs was naturally somewhat distasteful to the residents of the neighborhood, and the matter was brought before the Trustees of the village. The Trustees passed a vote to the effect that "it should be unlawful for any person or persons to play ball anywhere within the corporate limits of said village (Ithaca), except on the new fair ground or some lot not adjacent to residences or public streets." The "new fair ground" is said to be in a most wretched condition, so damp that it is impossible to play on it but for a few weeks during the College year, and more than two miles distant from the University. Unoccupied lots not adjacent to public thoroughfares appear to be wanting. And the Cornell students are practically debarred from ball-playing for an indefinite length of time, simply because the "roughs" insisted upon presenting themselves as spectators of the games. We offer the Cornell men our most sincere sympathy; and as we notice a complaint in the same article of the inefficiency of the Ithaca police-force, we cannot forbear to suggest that in Cambridge officials might be found against whom the charge of lack of rigor could never be preferred.
THE Purdue is so exquisitely conceited that we had intended to leave it for a while unnoticed. An article on "Politeness" which appeared in the last number is so interesting a commentary upon the manners, if not upon the morals, of Indiana that we really think it worth quoting. It begins as follows: "Many argue that it is too troublesome to doff their hats to a lady, that a bow is all that is necessary. One of the most talked of marks of politeness, among ladies, is that such a gentleman always touches his hat."
After dwelling at some length upon the propriety of touching hats, the writer warns the students of Purdue that their conversation must never soar above the comprehension of the ladies with whom they are talking. The comprehension of the local lady - to judge from the article in question - is probably bounded by local agriculture, cookery, and the recent fashionable novelties of Indianapolis.
The article concludes with the statement that a person who is perfectly polite is a true gentleman.
APROPOS of the notions of Paradise entertained by certain theologians, the University Herald requests us to "imagine our much revered Faculty all (?) with harps in their hands, asking one another in subdued whispers for Helmholz's formula!"
ONE of the most remarkable etymological compounds that we have ever noticed is "spellizootic," a favorite title for spelling-matches in many of our Western exchanges.
THE Williams Athenaeum has a rather amusing satirical article on the Shakspere-Bacon controversy, in which it maintains that the two formed a literary partnership, on the Erckmann-Chatrian plan, and that Bacon's contempt for the drama led him to withhold his name. The same paper tells us that the old custom of smoking the class pipe is to be abolished.
THE Union College Magazine for March has at length appeared, some two months behind its proper time. An account of an editorial accident explains this long delay. The Magazine is decidedly the best specimen of the printer's art among our exchanges; its contents, however, are either painfully conventional or still more painfully local, - faults from which its long rest should have exempted it.
THE Yale Record of May 19 notices a fire which broke out in one of their college buildings on Sunday last. Some students had been smoking cigarettes just before church, and during their attendance at divine service the stumps, which appear to have been thrown into an easy-chair, set their room on fire. An impromptu fire-brigade succeeded in extinguishing the flames, but the room was rendered almost uninhabitable. It is a lesson worth remembering. While cuspidors and ash-pans still exist, it is to be hoped that easy-chairs will not again be called upon to take their place.
PROFESSOR (endeavoring to give a student some idea of conditional sentences). "Suppose I should say, 'If I had a million dollars, I would endow the college with half of it'; what would you infer?" STUDENT (readily). "I should infer that you were a generous man." Professorial disgust. - Williams Athenaeum.
"MAMMA, where do the cows get the milk?" asked Willie, looking up from the foaming pan of milk he had been intently regarding.
"Where do you get your tears?" was the answer.
After a thoughtful silence he again broke out:-
"Do the cows have to be spanked?" - Ex.
A SPANISH proverb says, "A kiss without a mustache is an egg without salt." - Ex.
A CONTEMPORARY asks, - "Is mumps singular, or are they plural?" Both. When you get mumps on both sides of your face at once, they are plural, but they make a person look singular. - Niagara Index.
SOME years ago Professor Harman was explaining to a darkey in Piney Woods the cause of the eclipses of the sun and moon. Listening awhile, he exclaimed: "That's what they told me at home, but I did not believe them; for I thought if God created those things, he would make them run clear." - Ex.