The blog of The Harvard Crimson

The Most Dangerous Game: Flyby’s Presidential Debate Drinking Game


To be honest, we all thought it would get easier with time, but it’s less than two months away from election night, and we’re still frightened every time we see Trump and Clinton take center stage at an event.

It’s hard enough getting through this election sober, so we here at Flyby thought we would lend a hand. Upperclassmen, proceed with caution, because continuing with this game for more than 15 min will probably result in permanent liver damage.

Really, the game is quite simple: take a shot (of lemonade, for all you eager freshmen) whenever one of the following happens:

Let's start with opposites. A common complaint is that while Clinton only uses cold, hard facts, Trump on the other hand refuses to use statistics, and argues based on what he believes to be his charisma (we’re gonna hold our opinion on that.) So, whenever Clinton cites another number, or Trump says “just believe me,” take a shot.

Onwards to scandals! As an employer giving an interview, you would assume that you would focus on a person’s resume, achievement, or merits, but that’s obviously not the case here. Instead, let’s focus on every controversial thing they've ever done and never talk about their actual capabilities—especially since they are applying for, arguably, the most important job in the world. So, whenever we’re reminded yet again of every email, business, sex, or Twitter scandal, empty your cups.

Still not drunk enough? Here are some throwaways:

Anytime a Republican mentions something about Reagan, finish your drink.

Every time Trump manages to insult the American people, take a shot.

When Clinton leans on Obama for support, shotgun a beer and cry a little because he’s going to be gone soon.

Feel free to add some extra rules for the next debate. Just don't get too carried away; something tells us HUHS is already pretty backed up with all the freshman binge drinking.


Listen Up! is BACK and Better Than Ever

betty hyemi
Bets and Hyemi freshman year awkwardness
What’s up, Harvard? Guess what– your favorite journalistic, blockmate/BFF, crime-fighting (not really) duo is back to answer all your burning questions in our biweekly advice column, Listen Up! That’s right, we’re Betty and Hyemi, just two senior girls living in Dunster who want to share all of the knowledge we’ve accrued from our time here at Harvard with you. We know you’re all dying to benefit from our guidance before we graduate. And did we mention that we offer advice pertaining to a ~wealth~ of topics? Want to impress your TF? We can help you there. Need help getting the attention of that cute guy you always see at LamCaf? Yep, we got it. Exhausted all other methods of procrastination and need something else? Oh, do we have solutions for you.

Submit your questions here because how could you possibly turn down advice from those two lovely faces above?

Below are some questions we received from last semester that we’re going to answer because we’re #responsible:

What’s your worst date story?

Hyemi: My worst date story is actually from a date back in high school that I wasn’t even on personally, but was third-wheeling to introduce two of my friends to each other. I was setting up my best friend with another friend I knew from class who both expressed interest in each other but for some reason felt too weird hanging out without me (see, not my fault). We went to see the movie Lincoln, and when my friend Bob (fake names or else both parties could potentially murder me for sharing this publicly) entered the row of seats in the theater, my best friend Jane hesitated sitting next to him so I went in next and sat between them. Let it be known that watching movies is my least favorite activity ever, especially at movie theaters because I basically pay for a nap. Yes, I fell asleep as soon as the trailers started and when I woke up, Lincoln was dead and the movie was over. Jane and Bob eventually went on a real date without me and had a lovely little fling, but they told me that the movie date was the most awkward 2.5 hours of their lives. Oops.

Betty: My worst date story is that I’ve never really been on one. Pretty brutal. I hope my parents don’t see this. Hit a girl up, though.

When is it appropriate to fart in front of a significant other?

Hyemi: Oh my goodness, this question was made for us. Betty and I love to talk about our digestive health – and for all of you judgmental readers, health is wealth! This is one of those questions that is super ~probing and revelatory~ about how comfortable you feel in front of your significant other. If you spend a lot of time with your significant other and like to go out to eat, chances are you will probably have to #LetItRip at some point. If it’s not one of those “oh my goodness who just unpeeled 5 million hard-boiled eggs” farts, I’d be fine letting it loose because your significant other will probably find it cute in one of those “aw, this is relatable” and “yay, you feel comfortable enough in front of me” ways. And if it’s a deadly one, save it for a fight.

Betty: This means everything to me. I am a firm believer in the mantra “treat yourself,” and you can’t “treat yourself” if you’re feeling the flatulence. It’s simply never a comfortable situation. I will never trust anyone who thinks that passing gas, if you will, is inappropriate or disrespectful. Anyone who forces you to hold in the cheese is a sadist. Sometimes, you just gotta relieve the tension. Especially in front of your significant other. And if they can’t handle the heat, kick them outta the kitchen asap. That being said, let her rip. Treat yoself.

Like what you read? We know you did, so submit your questions here!

Do You Like it Grilled?: Our Barker Cafe Ranking

With the tragic closure of Greenhouse Cafe last spring, Harvard students are on the hunt for another venue where they can satiate their appetites in between classes. Because we’re just as desperate for a new place to waste our board plus, Flyby sampled the fare at the Barker Center cafe.

In terms of presentation, Barker gets an A+; it’s an idyllic cafe, and all of the sandwiches are neatly wrapped on a display under the counter. The price is not particularly damaging to your wallet, as you can get a half sandwich for four dollars and some change, and full sandwich for just a little under $10.


We sampled two of the most recognizable Barker sandwiches to see if they new Barker Center fare can live up to the sterling reputation of the Greenhouse Cafe

Classic Grilled Cheese
With the classic grilled cheese, you get almost exactly what you expect—but with somewhat of a twist. With cheddar and Monterey Jack cheeses, sliced tomato, and spicy mustard on thick sourdough bread, it’s a solid sandwich, albeit difficult to stomach when it’s not heated up. Not to mention the tomato is a bit soggy. Still, overall, it’s a solid rendition of a classic favorite, although it may be a little underwhelming and simplistic given its high price tag.

Allan Likes it Grilled
Bizarrely named “Allen Likes it Grilled,” this sandwich is made with grilled chicken breast, Monterey Jack cheese, roasted tomato, arugula, sweet pickles, and serrano mayo dressing on sourdough bread. Aside from the tiny fact that the flavor of the sandwich can be drowned out by the overly rich mayo dressing, the sandwich is a solid pick for an afternoon snack. Still, when this bad boy is heated up, it’s like eating something from a professional deli (are you sensing a trend here?)

The Verdict
Overall, the fare at the Barker Center cafe seems much haughtier than the food offered by the Greenhouse cafe. Those students looking for a quick slice of pizza will likely leave disappointed. But for those who are willing to take the 5 minute walk and spend nearly 5 dollars on half a sandwich, the “Allen Likes it Grilled” is definitely the best bang for your board plus; it’s richer and definitely more fulfilling than its smaller, yet equally priced cousin, the simple grilled cheese.

While those who consider (probably falsely) their palates to be more refined than that of the average Harvard undergraduate, the Barker Center cafe is a good bet. However, those who desire a similar gastronomic experience to Greenhouse should search elsewhere. If only there were still places to search for

If Your $132 Didn't Go to Mankiw

With the onset of the fall semester comes the usual rush to prepare for an all new set of classes that promise to be panic-inducing in all new ways. But an additional rude awakening was in store this year for students taking Ec 10a. The course now requires that students buy a new loose-leaf course pack for a whopping $132, a change that the course head and textbook author N. Gregory Mankiw stands by. You could be glad you didn’t enroll, or holding back tears because you did; either way, we at Flyby have a carefully curated selection of objectively better things you could’ve spent that cash money on.

Get your H sweater on

Technically, fall has arrived, which means it’s time to be the early bird and get your classic, cliché H sweater. Priced at $100, well below the Ec 10 course pack, the staple Harvard sweater will ensure you never look less than obnoxiously Ivy League. You could actually own the sweater before Harvard-Yale in November if you step on it! Bonus: on those chilly days around town, you can just point at your sweater if anyone asks you what school you go to. Better not to waste your breath on plebes, right?

Beat back hunger

Need a little something to fire up your brain before getting back to psets? Or a nighttime snack to cheer you up after that terrible party you ditched? No fear, because Insomnia Cookies delivers 100 cookies for $121. Alternatively, if the sweet stuff doesn’t do it for you, make your way to JFK Street’s Tasty Burger and get yourself 21 burgers, or 13 burger-fries-beer combos. You could share with your whole squad… or not. Who are we kidding.

Free shipping, and streaming? Check

All that you didn’t spend on the Principles of Economics, you can spend on the capitalist trappings that every college student needs: Amazon Prime Student, Netflix, and Spotify Premium. According to our calculations, you can use your $132 on 17 months of Netflix, 26 months of Spotify Premium, or nearly three and a half years of Amazon Prime. Yes, you read that right. Why would you ever want to spend on higher education again?

Fancy food, not fast food, please

That saved $132 sure makes you feel like you’re rolling in it. So why not look at some more upscale dining options? At Alden & Harlow on Brattle Street, you can treat yo’self six times to warm smoked lamb breast, grilled bluefish, or merguez tortellini, whatever that is. Bogie’s Place in Boston will spot you with $70 Russian caviar. Asta, also in Boston, serves a three-course meal for $50, so how about two fancy meals in a row, hmm?

Leave the Harvard bubble

If you want to leave campus far, far behind—seriously? The semester literally just started. If you insist, though, fly to Las Vegas in October for $117! Just one caveat: that’s a one-way fare. Well, Flyby can’t do everything for you. Maybe taking the leftover $15 to the roulette tables might win you a way back?

Take a stand against what Mankiw stands for!

If you’re sick and tired of the principles of capitalism ruining the fine minds of Harvard students, there’s something here for you too! With your $132, you can buy 66 copies of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto. Spread the word, and soon we will no longer have to pander to bourgeois ideas like buying brand-new textbooks.

Falling for Fall: How to Take Advantage of Harvard's Best Season

Widener Autumn
Changing fall foliage surrounds Widener Library on Monday afternoon.
You know it's time to say good-bye to the summer when Starbucks starts advertising its seasonal Pumpkin Spice Latte. And while you may be hesitant to pack up your swimsuit and sandals till next May, we're here to tell you that fall can be just as fun—if not more so—than summer ever was. Here are a few things you have to look forward to as we dive into #sweaterweather.

Apple Picking
What could be more wholesome than a Saturday afternoon spent with friends at the local orchard? The Brooksby Farm and Belkin Family Lookout Farm are two of many orchards near Boston that offer pick-your-own apples on weekends. If you're thinking, why go to an orchard when I can get free apples at the d-halls, just note that these farms have adorable barn animals as well as freshly baked pies, homemade fudge, and cider doughnuts (seriously, who could turn down all that?).

Fall Fashion
This season, the best time to wear a striped sweater really is all the time. With fall comes the onslaught of jewel tones, riding boots, and plaid. So. Much. Plaid. Exchange the shorts for long pants and relish in this moment when you can feel comfortable outside in only a light sweater. Walking through campus when all of the leaves around you begin to turn a school-spirited crimson is an incredible feeling. Just wait till late October when the leaves happen to match the color of the word "Harvard" embroidered on all of your college gear (think about it, your outfit will color coordinate with...the world. It's an Instagram opportunity worth waiting an entire year for).

Scented Candles
Now available in a whole range of scents, from spiced orange and cinnamon to pumpkin pie, replace the smells of a hot summer (namely sweat) with something straight from Grandma's kitchen. These technically aren't allowed in dorm rooms, but we won't tell anyone if you don't.

Reasonable Dorm Temperatures (without the fan!)
Fall means no more suffocating nights in your dorm room. Leave the windows open for fresh crisp air that will make staying in your room to work on a pset or a paper much more enjoyable.

It's been said that autumn is the most beautiful season of the year here at Harvard. So whatever you end up doing this fall, make sure to get out of Lamont from time to time, take a deep breath, and enjoy the scenery. The season doesn't last long, and Winter Is Coming.

How To: Study for Midterms (Looking At You, Freshmen)

September is coming to a close, meaning three important things for freshman on campus: winter is coming, Annenberg food is losing its quantitative appeal (its only appeal), and midterms are a real thing.

We’ve now entered the awkward in-between following the opening weeks during which we’re surrounded by a flurry of parties celebrating the start of college and filled with friendly faces, but preceding a time of security and routine when we will actually know what we’re doing for the rest of the semester. These weeks are reserved for long days filled with uncertainty of schedules, the shock of having homework, and – God forbid – actually being challenged by a class. And what better time than now to introduce yet another horror?

So, here’s to all the freshmen who have never studied a day in their lives, who always got by in high school with intelligence and lazy indifference, and who are scared by the reality of an actual exam. Follow these simple tips, in addition to common sense, in order to not fail your first Harvard midterm:

Here’s a simple one: don’t cheat. We know, we know, the odds that someone else has studied harder than you for this exam is high. And that guy in the row in front of you looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks, meaning he definitely knows how to do the problem you’ve been staring at for hours. But trust us, it’s not worth it. #RIPGov1310

Wear sweatpants. We know you still harbor hopes of finding love on this campus (you won’t), but it’s not worth the pain. You wake up an hour early, shower, wear your sexiest outfit, and show up ready to impress. You look good, smell good, and you should be turning heads. But you’re not, because everyone is focused on their cramming and testing. Instead, you got one less hour of sleep, you’re starting to get cold, and you haven’t even seen the cute person you were trying to impress. Option two? Go for the sweatpants, get an extra hour of sleep, be warm and comfortable, and focus that brilliant mind on the test.

Get some sleep, and don't overdo it on the caffeine. Also, trying black coffee in an effort to seem legit is not a good idea on the day of your first exam. There seems to be a sadistic culture around some circles at Harvard, in which the perception of how smart you are — or how many insanely hard classes you’re taking — is directly proportional to how much coffee you down the night before. I’m here with the Crimson to bring you breaking news: it’s not. Begin studying well before the exam, by a couple days or even a week, and then get a good night’s sleep the night before. Your mind and body will thank you.

Literally thousands of freshman have lived through their first semester midterms. We know it’s not always easy, but we believe in the hopeful, non-wintered freshman on this campus and wish you luck in the coming weeks.

The Best $10 You'll Ever Spend

Are you a sophomore premed already disenamored with Chem 17? What about a freshman who already failed to finish his first CS 50 problem set even though students receive an extra 10 days this year? If so, have no fear. Though the first Add/Drop deadline has tragically passed, Harvard students still have until the Fifth Monday (October 3) to finalize their course schedules for the fall semester (and even then, why is everyone so scared of the dreaded W?). For the steep price of $10 a course (and the next 60 seconds of your life, which is all Flyby can really ask for at this point), we’ll will give you the lowdown on which courses to pick up to repair your broken semester.

Ethical Reasoning 18 - Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory

Your roommate is taking it. Your linkmate is taking it. Half your entryway is taking it. So why shouldn’t you? ER 18 is one of those Harvard staples that has left even The Atlantic asking why, exactly so many students at Harvard are so interested in studying the philosophy ancient China. If you’re dropping the ubiquity of CS 50, replace it with the ubiquity that has found its place in the hearts of so many Harvard undergraduates in search of that effortless, undeserved A.

History of Science 136 - History of Biotechnology

If you’re dropping Chem 17 because drawing those resonance structures has you stumped and you can’t master your first mechanism (note: for those brave enough to continue, it gets a lot worse), pick up this course to get the sense you’re still persevering the premed you always thought you were. Professor Sophia Roosth is an excellent lecturer, there’s no heavy science to be learned, and even if you’ve merely taken just LS1a you can watch as all your classmates struggle to wrap their head around some of the convoluted patent law discussed just as DNA wraps itself around a histone protein. Who are you kidding? This is so much better than what your science courses could ever teach you.

Economics 10a - Introduction to Economics (Micro)

Just kidding! Have you seen the price of that textbook?

Best of luck everyone. Fifth Monday will be here faster than you can say midterm season!

Battle of the Squares: Central Square

Communist Bar
A patron sits at the bar amid various propagandic images lining the wall in People's Republik, a Russian Communist themed bar in Central Square.
“Imma let you finish, but Central Square is the greatest square of all time,” Kanye West once said. Okay, that's not exactly what he said, but the point is that Central Square is seriously cool and deserves to be called one of the greatest Squares of Cambridge.

For those of you who don’t venture beyond the confines of your dorm or for you freshmen who are new to the neighborhood, Central Square is the area sandwiched between Harvard Square and Kendall Square. Why would you bother to walk to Central Square when the journey from your room to the Science Center is already becoming a trek? Well, Central has plenty of draws, no matter what kind of person you are:

For people who like good food (though, isn't this everyone?)
One of our favorite restaurants around campus is a Chinese restaurant in Central Square called Dumpling House. Everything they make here, even in the form of cold two-day-old leftovers, is heavenly. The food is amazing, it’s super affordable for your college budget, and it’s always packed so you know it’s a crowd favorite. Another favorite is Life Alive, which is a ~peaceful and zen~ cafe serving healthy and yummy salads, wraps, grain bowls, and smoothies. And did we mention that Central Square has a 24-hour Clover?

For people who love to grocery shop (#adulting)
Don’t you ever miss being at home and going grocery shopping, a.k.a. putting a million things in your shopping cart because you know your parents will be paying for it at check-out? Well, Central Square has a Whole Foods, but the big deal is actually the Korean supermarket H-Mart. This place is actually amazing – it has a lot of Asian food beyond Korean food and it also does Korean BBQ night way better than HUDS. It also happens to have a food court inside it…

For the 21+ crowd
There’s a really cool speakeasy in the heart of Central Square called Brick & Mortar. The entrance to it is a plain-looking door next to a restaurant called Central Kitchen, and once you go up the stairs, it opens up into a really spacious and dimly-lit bar with cool cocktails and a nice vibe. Central is also home to the famous People's Republik, if you still #FeelTheBern want to let your socialist side show, and the Plough and Stars if you like Irish pubs and live music.

For those who like to #gram
The Wall at Central Square is a hidden alleyway displaying collaborative street art, intended to be a cultural hub for the local community. When you look up, there’s a ceiling of colored panels, which looks absolutely amazing in the sunlight, even with #nofilter.

To Nap or Not to Nap?

So it's 2 in the afternoon and you're starting to feel kind of drowsy. Maybe it's all of those lectures you've been sitting through, or maybe you went just a little overboard last night at your entryway's kickback. Either way, now you're stuck with what is perhaps the greatest dilemma you will face during your time at Harvard besides whether you should do a thesis or not: to nap, or not to nap? Luckily for you, Flyby has the answer—and it's nowhere near as complicated as Shakespeare's convoluted advice.

Did you...?

...get a solid 8-10 hours of sleep last night?

“I always get the optimal amount of sleep for my health,” said nobody ever But, on the off chance this is you, the overwhelming answer is NO, don't take a nap! You owe it to the rest of us bleary-eyed night owls to make the most of your alert and productive brain. Trust me, you’ll thank us later when you’re relaxing in your bed while your roommates trudge off to Lamont.

...sleep at all last night?

Okay, so you didn’t exactly get your beauty sleep. Was it 5 hours? 2? Either way, you're probably crabby and not thinking very well. You're pretty sure that guy you just said “'Sup” to was actually your professor. In any case, it won't hurt to get a little extra rest before your next class. Napping is definitely the call.

...pull an all-nighter?

You stayed awake all night for a reason, didn't you? Hurry up and finish that assignment. Honestly, are a few more hours awake really going to hurt? But if you pulled more than one consecutive all-nighter (you unnatural creature), then no p-set is worth it. In fact, why are you wasting your time reading this post when you could be hitting the sack?

How To: Get a Late Start on Your Thesis

It’s already more than halfway through September and some seniors may just realizing that they have a thesis to do...oops. Whether you had a great summer visiting wonderful places, doing super important work at your internship (yeah, sure we believe you weren’t just filing papers), or just chilling before senior year, we understand that it is easy to forget you on-campus responsibilities. But add-drop period is over, recruiting season is here, and you have some work to do. Here are things you should remember as you kick your thesis into gear:

Check if you can even start your thesis now
Different departments and concentrations have different guidelines and dates for doing a thesis. This means that the deadlines for agreeing to do a thesis might have already passed. Don’t get ready to accept long, late, coffee-filled nights when it will be all for naught. Email your concentration advisor, your thesis advisor or anyone else who can get you started. It might be nice if you already have a proposal in mind.

Find your hole and claim it
Like an animal who needs to find a place for hibernation, you need to find a place to hide. But unlike animals preparing to hibernate, you will spend your long, cold, winter working instead of sleeping Your hole will be a place you can stay for hours on end without distraction. Make sure you have easy access to a bathroom, an outlet, and food/drink. Whether your preferred space is a library carrel you’ve reserved or the corner table in Starbucks, make sure you claim (and defend) your territory.

Create a GoFundMe, or at least a budget
Doing a thesis imposes a cost not only on your sanity, but also on your wallet. You could get a job to pay for your 4 a.m., caffeine-induced snacks, but this might add too much stress given your already-nonexistent amount of free time. So you’ll need to figure out a way to finance your misery, whether that is tapping into the goodwill of your family, friends and people, or just keeping track of your expenses for the semester. If you do decide to go for the crowdfunding route, make a funny title like “Help Me Survive this Year of Writing and Crying,” as practice for your eventual thesis title. You need every penny you can get to fund all the paper printing you will have to do.

Get a planner and keep track of your life
A fancy planner with a pretty cover will make it at least look like you have your life together. If you don’t want to spend your life’s savings at Staples, use Google Calendar to keep track of your deadlines and advisor meetings, Make sure you have some semblance of order for the fall semester to reduce your stress about accidentally missing a meeting or assignment.

If you aren’t required to do a thesis and don’t know if you even want to, remember: you are not necessarily missing out on an experience. Sure, you won’t get the Widener steps photo-op, and you’ll have one less reason to complain on Facebook. But a thesis is a huge time commitment, so make think long and hard about whether you’re passionate about your topic before trading in most of your free time and weekend nights.

Meet President Faust’s Mysterious New Puppy

who let the dogs out?
The presidential puppy.

Everyone loves a good puppy study break. Life at Harvard is stressful, and nothing says relaxation like a small four-legged animal with a wet nose and an unpredictable bladder. No one knows this better than University President Drew G. Faust.

In an interview with the Harvard Gazette, that other Harvard publication that works its way into your email inbox every morning, Faust revealed that she had recently adopted a panicked, dependent mammal that may vomit all over the carpet. (No, we’re not talking about the freshmen who share Massachusetts Hall with Faust every year).

In case you didn’t get it, Faust got a puppy.

The president of the wealthiest university in the world adopted Alice, as she dubbed the dog, from a shelter at four months old. Faust admits that she is “not sure of her origins.”

“I want to get a dog DNA test and try to figure out what she is,” Faust told the Gazette.

But this isn’t wonderland, folks. This is Harvard, Faust is a president, and that can only mean one thing: this dog means business.

“She is some kind of hunter. She points. I think she might be some kind of herder because she also herds. You know how they get down and look, she does that,” Faust said.

Oh, do we know, President Faust. Do we know.

Can You Handle The Handle Bar?

spin class
How do they look so happy?
Contrary to popular belief, the walk from your dorm to class to the dining hall to another class and back to your dorm does not count as strenuous exercise. Of course, from psets to recruiting events to extracurricular meetings, Harvard students have a litany of excuses for why we don’t have time to work out.

But what if the workout was awesome and intense and free? After all, college students love free stuff.

Until this Saturday, The Handle Bar is offering free classes to walk-in customers who show a valid student ID. Basically, all of Harvard could go to a legitimate spin class for free. What could be better than finally getting the cardio you’ve been pushing off for weeks in?

We here at Flyby decided to check it out and document the six stages of stages of spinning misery (and triumph):

Realizing you are probably the least fit person in the class.
There are svelte Cambridge soccer moms surrounding you. Their calves are in better shape than your organic chemistry grade. You weep softly.

Wondering how on earth someone can stay so cheerful while spinning.
This may or may not be directed at the peppy instructor who can somehow still shout encouragement while spinning at 5 rpm faster than everyone else: Thanks, but no thanks. But also, if you weren’t shouting at me I might actually have stopped moving my legs completely 5 minutes ago so...really, thanks.

Drinking more water in one 45 (or 60!) minute class than you have in an entire day.
You realize the importance of staying hydrated. You silently thank all of the clubs (looking at you, DAPA) who generously gave free water bottles. You then silently thank HUDS, Harvard bless their souls (and health), for always cleaning said water bottles.

Feeling like your legs have never burned so much. Ever.
How fast are you going? You’re probably going faster than that one time you had to had 5 minutes to make it from Sever to Science Center to turn in your problem set before it would be marked late. Probably.

Becoming convinced that you might just not make it to the end of this class.
Would it be socially acceptable to just give up? Wait, Harvard students don’t give up, unless it’s giving up in the sense of deciding to take CS50 pass/fail. You keep going.

Finally finishing, and feeling more triumphant than you did after finishing an exam.
And to think, you only cried twice.

Before midterm season hits us and you’re relegated to the sole triumphant feeling of making it out of an exam still breathing, do your body a favor, put your utilitarian college-student brain to work, and milk these free Handle Bar spin classes. You won’t regret it.

HUPD Crime Log: 8/30 – 9/8

The first few weeks of school have been rife with crimes of all sorts, from the sudden rash of cell phone thefts at a party in Adam’s senior house to the $17,121.75 worth of dental equipment that went missing from the Harvard Dental School last week. We don’t know whether to be terrified by the boldness of some people, or to be impressed.

August 30

Officer dispatched to a report of two individuals having sexual relations in the courtyard area. Officer arrived and report individuals gone on arrival.
We said the stacks! Have some decency.

September 3

FOX CLUB
Officer dispatched to a report of an individual screaming in the area. Officer arrived and report CPD on scene and report negative results.

Down with the patriarchy!

September 3

Officers dispatched to a report of an individuals passing around a bottle of alcohol while waiting for the shuttle bus. Officers arrived and report individuals gone on arrival.
Boozy bus rides are ALWAYS the way to go.

September 4

MATTHEWS HALL NORTH
Officer dispatched to a report of a group fighting in the area. Officer arrived and report individuals gone on arrival.

WORLDSTAR!

September 5

Officers dispatched to a report of an individual swinging a gold club in the area. Officers arrived and report individual was just twirling their cane waiting for their ride.
So basically, what you’re saying HUPD, is that we should hit this person up to cover our textbook expenses?

September 8

Officers dispatched to a report of an individual in the area with a shopping cart looking into several windows. Officers arrived, located individual and sent them on their way.
“Ooh, that’s a nice lamp. Don’t mind if I do,” he thought as he reached through the student’s window.

Check back next week for our next installment of HUPD Crime Log!

36 Hours in Cambridge: Student Edition

If you read the New York Times, as most Harvard students do, you may have noticed an article by Ethan Gildsdorf about Cambridge today. The article starts by describing Cambridge’s long history since 1630 and points out that it’s difficult to “tune into Cambridge’s legendary countercultural vibe of used bookstores and punk rockers.” The bulk of the article goes on to give interested readers ideas for what they could do should they find themselves with 36 hours to spare in Cambridge.

Much like some of Harvard Square’s shopping outlets, the article’s author forgets that his audience includes (broke) college students. But have no fear: Flyby always remembers. So here are ways to modify Gildsdorf’s suggestions so you don’t have to sell your soul to your accountant. We won’t be describing the whole 36 hours because, let’s be honest, if you ever have 36 free hours you probably missed the deadline to enroll in classes despite the 594 emails you got reminding you about the deadline.

1. BOOKISH BEAT

The article suggests that you visit Grolier Poetry Book Shop, the Harvard Book Store, Newbury Comics, and more in order “to taste the brainy shock waves of Harvard Square.” But brainy students know, you’re better off paying a visit to the Free and For Sale Facebook page. After all, you’ll never get a better deal on books than you will from an upperclassman desperate to get rid of all traces their unfortunate encounters with previous classes. If it’s Ec 10 they might even pay you to take their book.

2. SQUARE MEAL

In this section, Gilsdorf suggests places for visitors to fill their stomach. He suggests Mr. Bartley’s for its dorm room vibe. You know what else resembles a dorm room, but you don’t have to pay extra to eat in? Your dorm room. Grab your cereal and potentially expired milk and you’ll have a meal fit for royalty without having to go more than 10 feet.

3. M.I.T. TOUR

I really had higher hopes for Ethan. I never thought he’d stoop so low as to suggest Cambridge visitors take a trip to M.I.T. Here’s Flyby’s advice for you on this one. Don’t. If you have enough free time to wander M.I.T’s campus, you should find a hobby (Even if that hobby is staring at a brick wall).

4. POWER UP OR DOWN

The author of this article wants you to pay $6 for “garlic knots” and also get coffee at Area Four. But we all know, if you’re craving caffeine, there’s only one place to go. Capital One bank. That’s right, you should skip right over all the overpriced cafes and head straight to Capital One. Because with a Capital One card, you can get 50% off Peet’s coffee. Take that, garlic knots.

5. A BRUNCH RUNS THROUGH IT

Gilsdorf says Harvest is a must for brunch to finish up your stay in Cambridge. But we students have something infinitely better than Harvest: HUDS. Does Harvest have a waffle with a shape that reminds you that you go to the best school on earth with every bite? We didn’t think so.

Boozy Fro-Yo Sundaes are Coming to Harvard Square

All of our (21 and over) dreams have finally come true! Beat Brasserie and Pinkberry are pairing up to create boozy fro-yo sundaes this Thursday, September 8th from 5 to 7 p.m. at their Boozy Ice Cream Social at Beat Brasserie. Seeing as ice cream and alcohol are college students' two favorite things, we can imagine that this will be a hit. Sundaes are $8 each and come in four flavors, including Banana Bread Pudding and Mango Martini.

September 8 also happens to be the day Study Cards are due, so why not celebrate getting your academic life (somewhat) together with a boozy sundae?

Take Heed, All Ye Freshmen: Flyby’s Guide to Crushing Freshman Year

We had one of those fundamentally startling moments here at Flyby this week. We glanced at our calendars are realized that the end of summer—and our happiness, good spirit, and well-proportioned sleep schedules—is nigh. It’s almost as much of a tragedy as the end of the world, that B+ we got on one of finals last semester, and every time Pokemon Go has server issues (which you really think they would have ironed out by now, right?)

Complaining aside: it’s time to start gearing up for the school year. For returning Harvard students, that doesn’t mean much besides tacking on a few hours at your summer job so you’re ready to purchase ridiculously expensive textbooks come September. But for incoming freshmen, it means that it’s time to get into the Harvard mindset.

Luckily for you, Flyby has you covered. Take heed, all ye Freshmen. This is some of the most valuable information you’ll learn all year.

Do not buy your books new—no matter how shiny they look

The Harvard COOP is notorious for trapping incoming freshmen by showing off the super-shiny, super-cool book selection. But no matter how nice that “Principles of Economics” textbook may look, it’s not worth it’s going price. Surf around on Amazon, Ebay, and Chegg to see if you can find your textbooks used. Also, Harvard has a bunch of different Facebook pages for students looking to purchase used textbooks, so keep an eye out for that.

Never eat a meal alone, if you can help it

And no, I’m not saying this because I am worried about your social life. Harvard is full of diverse, intelligent, interesting individuals, and the value of an education at the school is learning from your peers as well as your professors. The best way to do that is to engage in mealtime conversations with them. That kid who you spar with over the latest political development might just open your eyes to a side of the world you don’t understand yet—or at least teach you the value of keeping a good poker face.

Go to office hours

We know Harvard professors can seem daunting because they are literally some of the most intellectual beings on the planet. But at the end of the day, they are educators: they want to see you succeed in your classes. So no matter how tempting that mid afternoon nap may be, head over to your professor’s office instead of back to your dorm.

Be careful about what you Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat

As an incoming freshman, Harvard seems like the coolest place ever and you will want to post photos of everything. How else are you supposed to let your high school friends know how fancy Harvard is! Our suggestion? Posting a photo of you and your friends overlooking Harry Potter-esque Annenberg Hall or sledding down the steps of Widener during a snowstorm is great, but use some restraint and good judgment. You don’t want to have to explain to your future employer why you appear to be, shall we say, “taking a nap” at Tasty Burger after Freshman Formal.

The weekends are sacred: avoid work

Too many Harvard students pile in the library on the weekend to tackle the workload they’ve allowed to build up over the course of the week. Instead of sacrificing those sacred weekend hours, we suggest you find some ways to become a very efficient worker during the school week, and spend your weekend turning up as much as possible. You’ll thank us later.

Don’t forget to workout

Who cares about dumbbells when you could be snacking on Taco Bell instead? Years down the line you’ll wish that you had chosen a few more reps in your house gym rather than the extra platter of nachos at Felipe’s. You’re in your prime, kid. Exercise now and you won’t have to worry about a potbelly later.

Read The Harvard Crimson

This is probably the major key. They (our competitors) don’t want you to read the Crimson, but we guarantee that it is the surefire way to make sure that you are on top of everything “Harvard”: The news, information about where the best food spots are, and the occasional political rant. (Pro tip: sign up for Harvard Today, all the cool kids are doing it.)

Plus, studies show that reading the Crimson increases your desirability to potential spouses. It’s like pheromones, except you’ll smell like paper and ink instead of whatever earthy scent attracts people to you.

We’re kidding, by the way. Try not to be so gullible.
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