The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Elevator Pet Peeves

SC Elevators
Science Center elevators between 10 and 10:07 a.m., a scary sight.
It’s that kind of day. You’re rushing into the doors of Sever or squishing yourself into the same revolving door at the Science Center. Even with the gift of Harvard Time, you’re running late, and your class is on the fourth floor. You could take the stairs, but leg day isn’t scheduled for another three weeks.

That leaves the elevator, a marvelous contraption—save for the unbearable types of people in them. Elevators may save you time (and fatigue), but are they worth the awkward interactions stretched out over agonizing seconds? To settle this dilemma, we have gathered some elevator pet peeves that just may convince you to take the stairs from now on.


If your TF is the type to drag out the end of class and keep you in two minutes over, good luck trying to squeeze into the elevator. Even if you somehow defy the laws of physics and compact yourself in, you’ll spend the next few minutes contorted against people’s stomachs, backs, and butts, making for an uncomfortable experience for everyone.


These lovely humans are the icing on top of the sardine cake. The only thing possibly worse than squishing against a stranger is having another stranger squish against you and audibly breathe down your neck or face. Better pray they didn’t have tuna for lunch.

Twenty-way Callers

Were you expecting a peaceful, quiet trip to the first floor, immersed in only your thoughts? Please, these are self-absorbed Harvard students we’re talking about. Expect to be roped into the angry rant of the girl on her phone next to you, or an intimidating business call from Mr. Goldman Sachs. You’ll reach your destination, but you’ll emerge from the elevator with a disconcerting amount of personal information you never asked for.

Button Mashers

If you've ever actually encountered one of these, I’m truly sorry. Do you want to talk about it?


Imagine rising from your seat in Cabot Library at 4 a.m., eyes bleary, soul absent. By then, you’re too drained to even attempt to take the stairs to turn in your pset, so you opt for the elevator. You’re relishing the peace of an empty elevator...until it shudders to a stop somewhere between the third and fourth floor. As someone who has personally experienced this scenario, it’s not fun.

Awkward Encounters

The silent interactions between you and the only other person in the elevator are a true testament to human connection. You can try your hardest to avoid eye contact, you can grimace that ~stranger to stranger smile~, or you can force out small talk, but the palpable awkwardness will still sit in the air. No getting around this one; it's simply a race to see who can exit the elevator—and the awkward encounter—first.

So what’s more appealing? Awkward eye contact and invasions of personal space, or 30 seconds of physical strain? You know the answer.

How to Pull Off an Email Scam, by “Drew Faust”

Scam Email
Robinson Crusoe wants your money and he wants it now.

Earlier today, Zack Cooper, Assistant Professor of Health Policy and of Economics at Yale, tweeted a screenshot of this email asking him to apply to speak at Harvard’s Commencement (in exchange for the miniscule, totally-not-a-scam request of his credit card information). In this revealing email, totally written by Drew Faust (long live the Kween), we see evidence of the best communication etiquette. Here’s what you need to know to impersonate Faust and pull off the most credible email heist of all time.

The Proper Greeting

In order to successfully impersonate Harvard’s 28th president, start your scam email off with the same greeting you give the section guy you hooked up with last night. “Hi” works, but other acceptable greetings include “Yikes,” “Don’t tell anyone about this or I swear to God,” and “*averts eyes and cries on the inside because you know he also lives in your House.*”

The Praise

“Harvard University is a big Fan of your work” is something we know we’ll never hear, but it’s the kind of compliment that would get us to do anything. Prime your target by buttering them up with this sweet sweet praise of “that thing [they] do” and prepare to make your proposal.

The Incentive

There are a lot of great offers in this email, which is what makes it so successful. Getting Drew to help you with a speech and having it on “the Harvard University YouTube channel”? Plus, “Grants,” of $3 million?! And all of that for two low payments of $1500. Sounds like a great deal to us.

The Extortion

Sending money to castaway Robinson Crusoe, who apparently lives in Missouri, totally checks out. Missouri is basically the same as an unknown island in the middle of the ocean—it’s only home to people who didn’t end up there on purpose, it’s probably a tax haven for economists named Larry, and we really have no clue where it is.

So, next time you’re impersonating the president of a university to ask for money, or begging your TF for another extension, keep these tricks in mind for a successful email, and keep scamming.

The Seven Personalities At Every Harvard Party

Party Suites on Campus
Personality Honorable Mention: The kid who thinks they're incredible at pong.

If you’ve ever been to a Harvard party—yes, those do exist—you’ve probably met at least one of these party personalities. If you haven’t, then it’s probably you.

The winggirl/wingman

Even with some liquid courage, most of us are still too shy to approach that cute person we’ve been eyeing across the room. After all, we all fall somewhere on the socially awkward spectrum. The winggirl/wingman is well versed in the practice of extolling your many (or limited) virtues and knows that their job isn’t complete until you are heading out the door for some “Tasty Burger.”

The guy that’s trying too hard

You know who we're talking about. You’re at a party just trying to have a good time, and some guy just inserts himself into the circle. As a collective whole, you and your friends relocate. But this mans is persistent. Next thing you know, he’s back making eyes at you. And when he finally gets the hint, he starts making moves on your friends. How many places can a group relocate in a tiny dorm?!

The designated c*ckblock

We’ve all been there. Someone gets a little too close for comfort and we start to panic. Well, that’s what the designated CB is for. When we need them the most, they slide right in between us and the offender. The designated CB personality comes in multiple forms—it is also the friend you implore to keep you from making bad decisions that you will end up making anyway. In this way, the designated CB will try to keep you away from the target, be it a Bumble date or Burnette's bottle, but their success may vary.

The girl that’s just waiting for her friends to finish making fools of themselves so she can get El Jefe’s

Okay, there’s something to be said for a good party. But have you ever had a cheese quesadilla from El Jefe’s? Or better yet, have you ever had a cheese quesadilla from El Jefe’s at 2 a.m.? This girl is dying inside watching her friends engage in questionable behavior, but she knows that if she can stay strong, it’ll all be worth it in the end.

The mom friend/dad friend

While there is no need for a designated driver, the long walk back from the Quad can be treacherous. I think it’s safe to say that if not for the parent friend, there is a very real possibility of being lost in the Quad, never to return. On top of their navigational responsibilities, the parent friend is the friend that will keep your thirst under control—making sure that you both get plenty of water and aren't coming on too strong.

The one just tryna forget their problems

Whether it’s three psets that were due last week or the stupid guy that just won’t text back, where better to evade your problems than at a party? Or more accurately, where better to create bigger problems instead? This person will look like they’re having the time of their life, but when you spend 12 hours Monday through Friday on the grind, watching paint dry could qualify as a good time.

The one that’s GONE

"I did what at the party?"

As the "warmer" weather of spring approaches, the campus party drive grows stronger and these personalities come out to play. Make sure to look out for them during your next rendezvous, so you know who to keep track of (the one that's gone) and who to ask to hold your hair back (the mom friend).

The 2018 Definitive Housing Day T-Shirt Ranking

We ranked the mascots. We ranked the videos. And now, to give you one last chance to boast your House came out on top this Housing Week, we rank the Housing Day t-shirts.

1. Dunster

Honestly, this was hands-down the best. #SorryNotSorry but no one can top The Office (even though it was a gimme reference).

2. Adams

We’re suckers for the color scheme of this shirt. The degree of extra with not one, but two, Latin phrases could have made this shirt go either way in the ranking.

3. Winthrop

We appreciate the Drake reference on the back paired with the simplicity of the front.

4. Cabot

This was pretty good, even if no one outside of Cabot understands the pirate ship—what happened to the cod? Bonus points for being extra and offering three options for type of shirt.

5. Kirkland

Bragging about the only thing they have going for them—dogs—and we’re not mad.

6. Leverett

Honestly, this shirt is really simple, but really aesthetically pleasing with the bunny on top of one of the “T”s.

Mather Pride on Mass. Ave
Thank you Mather, we have all waited for Incredibles 2 far too long.

7. Mather

Thank you for getting us hyped for Incredibles 2—the wait has been way too long. Is Mather really incredible though? You tell us.

8. Eliot

Everyone wearing this shirt must’ve felt like they had an elephant sitting on their chests. Not comfy.

9. Quincy

We get it, penguins can’t fly. “Fly Quincy.” Please end this bit.

10. Lowell

We like the play on construction, but the phrase on the back was, well, not great.

11. Pfoho

Seltzer?? No one likes seltzer! Honestly we’re just mad because we initially thought this was a play on the Klondike logo and we have never been more disappointed to be wrong in our lives.

12. Currier

Your hats were better.

The 2018 Definitive Housing Day Video Ranking

Don’t even bother trying to hide the fact that you procrastinated the hell out of last week by watching Housing Day videos. We did too. For those of you out there who have self control and stopped after a few, we ranked all the vids for you, so you have an excuse to fall back down that rabbit hole.

4.6 stars

This year, Eliot takes the cake in creating what may have been the most hype video of the year. With great costumes, great lyrics, and fun and creative cinematography, Eliot achieves both hype and humor. Everyone knows they’re rolling in dough, and we appreciate them leaning into it.

Dunster - ‘Holding Out for Dunster’
4.5 stars

Dunster continues its trend of high quality videos complete with great vocals and amazing effects. What the video lacks in humor, they kind of make up for in cute children and the image of a moose riding nobly on a horse.

Mather- ‘Mathier Parti
4.3 stars

In a surprising turn of events, Mather gets a high rating. This was the second Cardi B song of the year, but are we mad? No. Points for consistent firing of shots and for making us forget how prison-like Mather is with all the singles braggin. Bonus points for not bleeping any of the swear words. Ballsy.

Pforzheimer - ‘Pforzheimer Things
4 stars

Pfoho came through with INCREDIBLE CINEMATOGRAPHY. The only reason this isn’t at the top is because, well, Cardi. And horses. Sorry, that’s just how the world works. But we are very impressed.

Cabot - ‘Party in The Quad All Day
4 stars

Cabot’s wholesome video made us feel warm inside. Maybe getting quadded isn’t so bad, with a community like Cabot’s.

Leverett - ‘BunnyBack
3.8 stars

With a cool drone shot, pizza rolls, and a corgi, Lev has all the elements a successful video needs. It’s not the best video ever made, but it has those three elements, so we’d say Leverett has earned their stars.

Winthrop - ‘Throp’s Plan
3.7 stars

For a video made with a “$150 minus $150” budget, this video featured a lion with some pretty solid dance moves. Though the overall video wasn’t too bad, Winthrop knew that they did not need to work too hard in the hype department to get freshmen stoked, and it shows.

Currier - ‘Woody Gang’
3.5 stars

We thought we had left "Gucci Gang" in 2017, but Currier redeems itself by featuring dogs and a cool duck. Extra points for cringe.

Quincy - ‘Quincy Air
3 stars

As Flyby, I guess we should give Quincy some credit for trying to have a flying theme. Though the attempts at humor via flirty comments weren’t the worst things we’ve ever been subjected to, the video was much too long for any person to be expected to suffer through.

Lowell - ‘Lowtel Room Service
2.5 stars

After “Get Lowell” from 2013, Lowell has always had a lot to live up to. We were invested at the beginning of the video, but unfortunately as it went on it got more and more mediocre and repetitive until we just couldn’t do it anymore.

Kirkland - ‘Kirkland
2.3 stars

Presented as a slideshow presentation, Kirkland really outdoes itself this year with its low audio quality and terrifically horrifying choice of “Friday” by Rebecca Black. However, since Kirkland wanted to live up to this...we decided to be generous.

Adams - ‘Adams Housing Day Video 2018
1.5 stars

We knew the only good thing about Adams was proximity, and we’d like to thank them for the confirmation.

So there you have it: Flyby’s definitive ranking of the Housing Day videos! Now that you’ve been housed, we suggest rewatching them so that you can relish in the magnificence of your own House while cackling at how lame and ridiculous the other Houses are.

Roving Reporter: How Are Freshmen Preparing for Housing Day?

What house do they want? Do not want (the Quad)? Did they tell their moms what River Run is? Are they hydrating? Our resident roving reporter Nicholas H. Nava is joined by Lorenzo F. Manuali (not Rory), to get the answers.

ATTN: River Run does not entail 'running across the river,' as some wide-eyed freshmen would assume.

The Definitive Ranking of the House Mascots

Housing Day is coming up quickly and freshman anticipation is building. While certain people worry about house qualities like location, n+1 availability, and dhall food, the true sign of a good house is a good mascot. Using a very complicated, scientific algorithm, we calculated a best-to-worst ranking of the house mascots.

Housing Day 2015
The mascot is a crucial cog in the ever-important Housing Day graphic t-shirt
1. Pfoho: Polar Bear

A consistent zoo animal favorite, the polar bear is an impassioned climate change activist and weighs enough to break the ice for incoming freshman.

2. Dunster: Moose

This mascot, hailing from Canada, can be found consistently bragging about his free health care and his handsome Prime Minister. He also speaks French and hangs out with Drake.

3. Quincy: Penguin

He is always down for some shenanigans ("smile and wave, boys"), and even though he’s always dressed up for a black tie event, he is not punching the Fly.

4. Mather: Gorilla

While this mascot spends most of his time trapped in the “concrete jungle” that is Mather, his many appearances in Housing Day videos definitely up his street cred.

5. Winthrop: Lion

Although a Pride of Lions is a cute (yet kinda cliche) way to represent House spirit and community, it’s kinda forgettable.

6. Eliot: Mastodon

The mastodon is as extinct as Eliot's old money elitism. Oh wait...Fête is still a thing.

7. Leverett: Rabbit

Everyone knows the rabbit is just a washed-up bunny. This mascot is better left in his rabbit hole.

8. Cabot: Fish

This mascot is fitting considering that to some, the feeling of getting Cabot on Housing Day is remarkably close to the feeling you’d get when you asked for a puppy and your parents got you a goldfish, but you eventually learn to love it anyhow.

9. Kirkland: Boar

This mascot screams evokes yawns of boardom. Seriously, who wants to be represented by a large pig?

10. Currier: Tree

Really…a tree? Couldn’t think of something with legs?

11. Adams: Acorn

The only thing worse than the Adams Acorn would be an Adams Apple.

12. Lowell: Nothing

How can we express House pride if we have no mascot to take pictures with on Housing Day?

While, according to our complex algorithm, this ranking is definitive, remember: The only thing that really matters on Housing Day is what kind of life form is on your House t-shirt and whether or not it is insta-worthy.

Dear Linkmate: Who Are You?

Dear Linkmate,

Throughout February, I labored long and hard to create the perfect blocking group, choosing my friends wisely, sabotaging other blocking groups for the good of my own, and being sure to stop that weird kid from sliding into the eighth spot. Despite my meticulous methods on the blocking front, I didn’t really put much thought into linking. I guess it just seemed like the only purpose of linking was to make sure your significant other is close enough that their room isn’t too far away in the middle of the winter, but far enough that you don't need to make daily awkward eye contact with them when the inevitable happens.

I guess what I’m trying to say is...who are you?

We linked with your blocking group because of our friend who had too many other friends to fit into our blocking group, and since you’re his friend, I’m sure you’re just great. And if you suck, it doesn’t really matter. If we haven’t spoken up until now, why would we start?

Admittedly, I feel a little bad that I’ve never really met you, that our interactions have been limited to vague recognitions in Annenberg. I couldn't even come up with your last name to Facebook-stalk you, and yet I’ve entered into the divine contract of linking with you. But we’ll be in different houses with different dhalls, so will I ever see you? Probably not. Will I ever even see the people in my own blocking group? TBD.

Anyway, nice to meet you.

Let’s grab a meal sometime,
Your linkmate

The Class of 2021's Best Blocking Group Names

After countless hours of deliberating, arguing, and contemplating, Flyby has determined the Harvard Class of 2021’s best blocking group names. Take a look to see whose group made the cut.

Housing Day 2015
Let's hope 2021's blocking groups are as rowdy as their names imply—and as this guy.
2 Girls, 1 Fop

A spicy twist, indeed. That’s one lucky “fop.”

I Only Love My Block and My Mom

A wholesome message, and a Drake reference all in one.

The Minority Report

Good movie, good people (hopefully). Simple, but clever.

Lesbians in Ecstasy

Matter of fact. Seems like a fun group.

Reverend Parris and the Aluminum Panty Droppers from Mars

Truly original.

Slim Richard and the Infidels

Doesn't make much sense, but has a nice ring to it.

Six and a Half Men

A sitcom reference and a roast all mixed into one!

Congrats to these clever groups, and good luck to everyone on Housing Day!

Veritawkward Addresses Age Differences, Blocking Group Roadblocks

Dear Veritawkward,
There’s a guy in one of my clubs who I’ve started paying more attention to, and as a result I’m developing feelings for him. The only thing (besides my overwhelming cowardice in saying something to him) is that he’s a year younger. Is this something I should pursue or should I go for a guy my own age?
Robbing the Cradle?

Dear Robbing the Cradle,
Oh, honey. It’s honestly so cute that your main concern is a one-year age difference. No judgement at all, I actually find it quite adorable. As someone who has been involved with people several years younger than me, I say go for it. As long as he’s legal, of course. Sometimes younger significant others can give you that self-confidence boost you need, because obviously being older = being cooler/better/more interesting (just kidding). But seriously, one year of age difference shouldn’t come between your feelings for someone.

As for your self-proclaimed cowardice, knock that attitude off! I know it can be scary approaching someone and confessing your feelings, but I’ve always found that you regret the things you don’t do more than the things you do. Ask him to get a meal or go out for coffee after your club meets. You guys already see each other quite frequently, so it’s an easy transition to go from hanging out at club meetings to doing something one-on-one afterwards.
You got this,

Dear Veritawkward,
So I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. I used to casually hook up with this one guy, but it didn’t end up going anywhere. A couple weeks ago I matched with his blockmate on Bumble and we’ve hung out a couple times. I really like this new guy and want to start getting more serious, but I’m nervous about messing with their friendship. What should I do?
Blocked by a Blockmate

Dear Blocked by a Blockmate,
First of all, it’s refreshing to hear that someone at Harvard has had several hookup options, since most of us can barely find one person interested in a relationship of any kind. Congrats! However, it’s clear that the universe hasn’t totally aligned. It definitely sucks that these boys happen to be blockmates, but that’s no reason to completely drop your new bae. It’s a slight roadblock, but definitely maneuverable.

I would start by being very open with Boy #2 about your history with his blockmate, and feel out his response. If he’s chill with it, awesome! Then you can move on to step two. If not, that will be a hard pill to swallow, but you’re going to have to respect his feelings and wave the white flag. From my experience, friendship should always trump a relationship, and you definitely don’t want to ruin things between the boys.

Okay, step two: Telling Boy #1. If you guys are on good terms this should be fairly easy, and if not, just have Boy #2 talk to him. Since you said you two were never serious I doubt he’ll take it badly, but in the off-chance he does, I still stand by my advice to back off. You don’t want to get in the middle of their friendship, believe me. It’ll just end badly and lead to unfair resentments. However, I’m optimistic that it’ll all work out in your favor. Communication is the key to all good relationships, and definitely your best tool for working through this situation.
Good luck out there,

—Have a burning question you want answered? Need advice on your hookups, your heartbreaks, or your significant others? Contact us at

What the Open Tabs on Your Computer Say About You

Chaotic Evil
Chaotic. Evil.

We’ve all been there: a gnarly surf of the Web ends in crashing waves, and a crashing browser. We open link after link in a new tab until the tabs are so tiny we have to squint to distinguish our Google Calendar from our Google Drive. We know that keeping so many tabs open inevitably overwhelms our senses and computers, but we can’t bring ourselves to quit. The question is, what do the open tabs on our computers say about us?

Confessions of an online shopaholic

10 tabs, 50 tabs, 100 tabs, let’s just not even discuss it. Clearly we have a problem with online splurging on clothes, shoes, dorm decorations, and ridiculous things like overpriced Muji pencils. Did you know you can order Crabby Patty Gummies on Amazon?

Facebook memes

Tagging all shameless procrastinators. Either we’re trying to get through an atrociously boring lecture, or to maintain friendships via daily meme tags—the tabs say it all.

Summer internships and programs

These tabs reek of desperation. The last-minute scramble to make summer arrangements is evidenced by tabs from program sites, email correspondences, the OCS website, and the dreaded “CARAT.”

Daily Mail articles

We’re just trying to take our education into our own hands...about pop culture, that is. Every now and then we go a bit overboard, and while the Daily Mail is mostly garbage, we simply can’t tear our eyes away from that day's new Kardashian-Jenner pap shots.


For the self-proclaimed doctors among us. Whether we’re researching the symptoms of mono, herpes, or the measles (whichever hot new disease is infecting Harvard that week), the abundance of open WebMD tabs only add to our anxiety about dying from the common flu.

Buzzfeed quizzes

And down the rabbit hole we go! What will it be today? Are These Oreo Flavors Real or Made Up? What Steve Harvey Suit Are We? Or maybe, What Disney Love Song Should We Play at Our Wedding?

Speaking of, thanks for taking “What the Open Tabs on Your Computer Say About You.”

Your result: you’re neurotic, scatterbrained, and easily-distractible, just like the rest of us.

How To Participate in Class Without Making People Hate You

Section means an hour of sitting in a room discussing subject matter with peers, whom you’ve either never seen before, or whom you’ve seen every day of college because there are 13 Folk and Myth concentrators. Section is the time to learn, study for other classes, or catch some z’s. But when participation makes up a third of your grade, there’s the added pressure of speaking in class. A dilemma arises: you don’t want your A to slip away because you never talk in section, but you don’t want to be “section kid” either. Here are some tips on how to welcome participation points without welcoming hatred from your peers.

Don’t dwell in disputes

Even if another student says something triggering or flat out wrong, a petty correction isn’t the most productive way to respond. Instead, try to respectfully address that student’s opinion, and move the discussion forward, rather than dwelling on their error.

Read passages and instructions

Participation includes all types of verbal contribution, including reading passages aloud. Many people avoid this kind of participation, thinking they can only contribute “original” discussion points, but TFs always appreciate it when someone volunteers to read.

Sit in the back

If you’re going to participate a lot, do it from the back of the room. This strategic position makes multitasking on your laptop a possibility, and keeps you from looking like a front-and-center teacher’s pet.

Space out your spiels

Don’t be that kid who talks every other turn. Instead, just discuss your contentions at the beginning and end of section. Your comments’ primacy and recency will make your TF more likely to remember you participation.

Participate in other avenues

To make an impression on your TF without making your peers’ eyes roll, show up to office hours to make your course engagement and knowledge known. Maybe you’ve been eying a “Classroom to Table” excursion for some time now. Don’t be afraid to go for it: you might find a truly rewarding interaction—and potential recommendation writer—in these outside-of-class exchanges.

No More Insincere "Sincerely"s: Use These Creative Email Sign-Offs

Too Many Emails
Ditch 'Best' and spice up your email life with a 'Cheers.'

As college students, we are always sending, receiving, and forwarding emails, from club advertisement blasts to recommendation requests. But what about the sign-off? Aren’t you tired of ending every message with a half-hearted “Best,” or an insincere “Sincerely,”? Don’t worry, we got you covered with this spicy list of creative sign-offs. Maybe your TF will actually respond next time.

With pleasure

This sign-off evokes different emotions, making your emails more intimate and pleasant. It’ll leave your reader with a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation.

Your comrade

Perhaps you’re feeling some solidarity with your recipient. In any case, use this sparingly: It should be reserved for close friends and believers in the proletariat.

Carpe diem

Although it is a cliched phrase, it’s almost never used in email endings. Latin for “seize the day,” this sign-off will present you as an intellectual who encourages others to live their best lives.

[insert inspirational quote]

Ending with a poetic quote or inspirational saying is certainly a hefty way to go out. Usually reserved for guidance counselors and motivational speakers, this ending will certainly be an eye-catcher.


For when you submit your essay to your TF via email by 5 p.m. on Friday. Alternatively, when addressing your borderline alcoholic peers, this sign-off works for any time of the day or week.

Let's catch a meal sometime

True Harvard style. Reserve this sign-off for people you don’t really want to see.

No sign-off

Sometimes leaving out the flair makes a bigger statement. Keep 'em guessing.

Carpe diem,

Beware the Franken-Squad

Yard at Night
If your blocking group just came together this week, the Yard might be looking a little...spooky, even Franken-like.

Blocking season is coming in hot, and everyone’s scrambling to find a group. Gossip-worthy arguments unfold, middle school drama is repeated, and unjustified tears are shed. There are undoubtedly some true “squads,” but not every group is created so tight-knit. You may have noticed some surprising group combinations over the past few weeks.

Dubbed the "Franken-Squad," this group is made up of people who’re really not that tight, but don’t want to be floaters. Not sure if you’re part of one or not? Take a look at this Flyby-approved checklist to see if you are.

Polite Convo

If you find yourself engaging in pleasantries with your blocking group a lot, you’re in some deep water. Talking excessively about “that hard p-set last week” and complaining about Berg food at the Berg as the main topics of discussion indicate a lack of spark in the group.


If your squad hasn't explored the city together—and we’re talking about more than a trip to El Jefe’s—and made some good memories, you clearly haven't made it out of the "Harvard Zone" characteristic of Franken-Squads.

Roast Sessions

Whether you're digging into each other or someone else you all despise, engaging in some savage roasts is always good for the camaraderie and health of the group. If you find yourself holding back, that’s never a good sign.

Late Night Talks

Who you go to with those 2 a.m. identity crises is a telltale sign of who you feel close to. If you feel a little weird dropping by your blocking group’s rooms to get some real talk, don’t be surprised when you’re not hanging out with them at all next year.

There are worse things out there than the Franken-Squad, but at least be self-aware enough to know if you're in one.

Older →