The blog of The Harvard Crimson

The Most Savage Q-Guide Comments of 2016

With shopping period just over the horizon, now may be a good time to figure out how to fill those four obligatory slots in your Crimson cart. Maybe you’re on the hunt for a GPA-boosting or Gen-Ed-fulfilling gem, or maybe you have no choice in the matter and want to know what you’re in for. We know scanning through hundreds of Q-guide comments can be dizzying, so Flyby has selected the most, shall we say, illuminating, and of course added our two cents. Here’s how former students frustratedly, fondly, and jokingly answered the classic question: What would you like to tell future students about this class?

ECON 10B: Principles of Economics

Professor N. Gregory Mankiw, who you may or may not recognize after a semester in Ec 10

The concise: “nothing” “not much” “it's hard”

The honest: “It's Ec10. You're probably taking it either way.”

The textbook: “The textbook. The textbook is the Bible for this course.” “Don't pay full price for the textbook.”

The Mankiw-hacked-the-Q-Guide-system-to-write-this-review: “This is important stuff—should probably be a required course for all citizens of the world.”

SCILIVSY 19: Nutrition and Global Health:

“The only thing this class taught me was how to spell diahrrea [sic].”

COMPSCI 51: Introduction to Computer Science II

“If you have been programming since you were in diapers, please move along.” Looking at YOU section kid!

“As cheesy as it sounds the course really makes you understand the elegance of programming.” *elegance*

“you may die in the class but you'll die with a smile on your face”

“Want sexy code? Take CS51.” Sexy wouldn’t be the first adjective to come to mind...but whatever you’re into, we guess.

VES 70: The Art of Film

“Be ready to travel through time and space to the 20's Berlin, the 30's Paris, the 40's Moscow and the 50's Manhattan! In this course, the past, present and future of film and film history become vivified... and so will your experience of film and its original referent—life!” Yes folks, this class will accomplish the inevitable by VIVIFYing your life.

SCIPHUNV 17: The Einstein Revolution

“no”

“YOU WILL THINK THIS IS A GOOD GEN ED COURSE. JUST RUN. TRUST MY SUGGESTION. RUN.” ALL-CAPS = THEY MEAN IT. RUN.

ECON 1011B: Intermediate Economics: Advanced

“This class is awful.”

“This class is painful. Only take it if you absolutely need it for your requirement. I hated every moment of it. The psets are horrible, lectures are terrible, and everything else is overly unenjoyable.” Now, don’t be such Debbie Downers!

SOC-STD 10B: Introduction to Social Studies

“THIS IS THE BEST COURSE I HAVE EVER TAKEN (NOT ONLY AT HARVARD) BUT DURING THE ENTIRETY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!” Chillllll

SLS 20: Psychological Science

SLS20 Shopping
Students attend an SLS 20 lecture during shopping week at the beginning of Fall 2016

“Psych isn't a real science, I knew this going in but decided to give it a try- huge mistake. Get ready to bs a whole bunch of random assignments and read through an incredibly boring textbook. “

“Oh, and every year the midterm is on Housing Day. Dick move.”

“be prepared to get lessons on pinker's ideas”

“I think this course could be more honestly titled ‘The World According to Stephen Pinker.’”

HEB 1310: Hormones and Behavior

“This course is EVERYTHING. It will satisfy you in every single way possible - intellectually, personally, emotionally, etc.” Every single way? ;) hormonally?

Chem 27: Organic Chemistry of Life aka Premed Sucks to Suck

“Can't get out of taking it unless you waste thousands of dollars to take it over the summer and lose out on doing an internship or something.”

“I'm sorry. That's about it. I'm just sorry. You're life sucks, and I'm glad I'm done with it.”

“You're premed? You have to take it. So pray that you'll make it through.”

“Pray. I mean this non-religiously. You're going to need a lot of luck to get out of this. Good luck future Chem 27 students. May the force be with you.”

“Be naturally good at chemistry, and you will do well. If you are a hard worker who is decently good at science, this may not be the course for you.”

“If you're taking this class its because you have to... My best advice is to not be pre-med.”

SW 24: Global Health Challenges: Complexities of Evidence-Based Policy

“psets are annoying but not very time consuming. section is lulz, final is bs, midterm requires some studying (somewhat legit)”

“The material is shallow and it's a class that focuses on teaching someone "how to think", but if you're reasonably decent at graphical literacy, this class will not bring much to you.”

“Overall I recommend, but I haven't taken the final exam or done the policy paper yet.... maybe I should do that and get back to you COME BACK TO THIS”

Stat 104: Introduction to Quantitative Methods for Economics

“It's not a sleep through class.”

“Go to lecture instead of watching lecture videos”

“Great stat class if you need to take one and don't want to hurt your GPA”

“Parzen is literally my hero. I'm sure he doesn't know who I am, but I am contemplating switching my concentration to Statistics because of him!”

CLARIFICATION: January 16, 2016

A previous version of this article referred to two courses by their shorthand (EC1011B and SOC-STD10B). This article has been updated to clarify the full names of those two courses.

The Holidays Don't Have to Be Over Quite Yet

It was precisely on the third day of the year that we began to feel the familiar pang of boredom—that reliable affliction that resurfaces seasonally, and always when we're away from campus. Unless you're kicking it on the beach or adventuring through the mountains somewhere, chances are you're just as bored of winter break as we are. After all, sleeping in till late afternoon and eating a questionable diet is glorious for only so many weeks before it gets old.

We always wondered what we should do during the second half of break, once the holiday season has faded away. Luckily for you, we found an answer in the 90s sitcom Seinfeld. We bring you Festivus, your new favorite atypical holiday "for the rest of us."

The Story of Festivus: Featured in the Seinfeld episode "The Strike," (as if we Harvardians haven't had enough of strikes) Festivus is an alternative winter holiday traditionally celebrated on Dec. 23. If you missed it this year, don’t worry—flout this "deadline" just as readily as many of you have apparently flouted the deadline to register for Harvard Key. After all, Mr. Costanza created the holiday to cover up his failure to buy George a Christmas present (a position many of us were in, no doubt).

The Festivus Pole: The joyless alternative to a Christmas tree. Rest an aluminum pole in the corner of the dining room to bring some Festivus spirit to your party. But ditch the tinsel and ornaments—the Costanza family rejected the unnecessary byproducts of “ commercialism.”

Airing of Grievances: The true cornerstone of Festivus. Every attendee must direct a “grievance” (complaint) at someone who has wronged them in the past year. Take this opportunity to purge a year’s worth of anger. You’d be surprised how real this can get. Just think of it as your #festivusclapback

Feats of Strength: No one can leave the party until the head of the household has been pinned. Nominate one attendee to tackle the host to the ground. Watch the ensuing chaos with holiday glee.

Even if you choose not to celebrate Festivus this year, allow the Festivus spirit to spice up the remaining days of winter break. Air your own grievance at the family dinner table. Spontaneously tackle someone. Or just watch the episode and wish you could be as cool as the Costanzas.

An Open Letter to Our Favorite Lamonster

Dear friend,

We’re concerned about you. Since we left you in the silent section of Lamont four days ago, we haven’t seen you. You haven’t been going out, but you have been wearing less and people are starting to notice. We got a snapchat just this morning of you stripping down in the bathroom to clean yourself—you're starting to scare off the freshmen! To be honest, we’re not entirely sure why you're still in Lamont. Your Orgo exam is over (did you even go!?), and from what you told us a few weeks ago your last final has already passed.

What have you been doing? You stopped live-tweeting your “death march” (these are your words, not ours) through finals week at least 36 hours ago and you haven’t charged your Crimson cash account with vending machine fees in ages. We checked.

Really, we’re writing this letter because we care about you... but also because we're starting to get complaints from fellow classmates. Apparently the entire building is starting to smell faintly like Adams did last spring, and people are saying the stench is emanating from you.

Please come home to us. But take a shower first!

With love (and mild disgust),

Your blockmates


Tiffany Trump Spotted at HLS

Make Harvard Great Again
Your (potential) future classmate

Make America Great Again? More like Make Harvard Great Again.

With a string of recent athletic, social, and political misfortunes, many Harvard students have been left slightly dazed and confused about the outcome of 2016. Well, our lives may be sad and miserable at the moment (with reading period and imminent exams the cherry on top of a long year), but Tiffany Trump’s life definitely isn’t.

A recent graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and aspiring lawyer (according to her Instagram, at least), Tiffany is perhaps better known as the younger daughter of Donald Trump, who in case you missed it is our country’s president-elect. Tiffany Trump is reported to have visited Harvard Law School this past Tuesday, with law students claiming that the tall blonde, with her posse of Secret Service agents, were unmistakable.

With many celebrities drawn to the prestige of a Harvard education, it doesn’t come as a surprise to us that Tiffany Trump is interested in Harvard as well. We’re interested to see how her father will react if she decides to attend Harvard for law school, especially given his past skirmishes with Harvard (namely with the semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine) and resulting negative rhetoric about Harvard students being “fraudsters and liars”.

But real talk: can you imagine Tiffany Trump and Malia Obama being on Harvard’s campus at the same time? You bet that their respective law school and college move-ins would be an interesting situation, especially if their dads happened to bump into each other. In any case, perhaps Tiffany Trump’s charmed presence at the law school could really make Harvard great again.

Major Key Alert: DJ Khaled is coming to campus

Major Key
If only we could be as cool as this guy!

UPDATED: December 12, 2016, at 10:52 a.m.

This past June, Channing Tatum signed up to take Professor Anita Elberse’s HBS executive education course and came to campus to the immense delight of Harvard fans. Later this week, however, we'll have "anotha" one—that is, another esteemed celeb coming to campus.

DJ Khaled is scheduled to speak at “The Business of Entertainment, Media, and Sports,” where he will have a conversation with him moderated by Professor Elberse this Friday, December 9, from 4:30 to 5:30 in Aldrich 112. Following the conversation Khaled will be signing books in Aldrich 111 from 5:30 to 6:30.

Yes, it’s reading period, and yes, everyone has papers to finish and exams to study for. But, if you’re hesitant to take even a short break to witness a legend on campus, just remember that even though they don’t want you to take a break, they don’t want you to have fun, and they don’t want you to hear the wise words of DJ Khaled, you really, really should.

Maybe this will be the major key to reading period you've been looking for all along. Happy studies, #blessup.

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

CORRECTION: December 12, 2016

A previous version of this article incorrectly stated that DJ Khaled was enrolled in the course The Business of Entertainment, Media, and Sports.” In fact, he only spoke during the course event.

What Does Your Favorite Harvard Square Cafe Say About You?

You can tell a lot about a person from their choices. The books they choose to read willingly, what you can find on their Facebook newsfeed, or their favorite student grill order. But since we’re fortunate enough to live in Cambridge, specifically in Harvard Square, which has so many cafés to choose from, why not learn more about yourself and your friends through the places you use to get all the caffeine you need to survive the day?

The Peet’s/Capital One Café: Maybe you’re a person who loves finance or banking and love having your latte near your future life goal. Or maybe you’re just taking advantage of the fact you can get half-off drinks with your student ID from 9 pm to 11 pm on most days. You’re not being obsessed with caffeine but being a true saver. This bodes well for adulthood.

Crema: You love to disconnect from it all. Not from the people and the crowds, but from the media and the internet and the world outside of the Square. You have no choice anyway since there is no reliable wifi at the cafe unless you can use your cellular data the entire time. You love to tell everyone what is your favorite sandwich.

Starbucks: You have admitted it to yourself and all your friends that you like the basic things in life and you’re not ashamed of it anymore. You know how to wait for the things you want in life such as the oft-heralded return of the PSL. In fact, you have a heightened and particular sense of taste because you can instantly tell if the Venti Peppermint Mocha you ordered doesn’t have the requisite amount of additional espresso shots. Your biggest problem is declaring your preferred Starbucks in Cambridge.

Tatte Bakery and Cafe: You know how to deal with suffering and waiting. Not only do you have to wait in line if you want something from downstairs but you also have to be a perceptive hunter if you want the chance of seating. You also have a love for the art as the black and white decor of the café speaks to your Instagram aesthetic. You’re a sharer, too, since that’s the best way to save on buying food.

Flour Bakery: You’re not afraid to go very far for what you want and explore new places. Not only are you the first person to try their famous Sticky Buns locally such you’re probably the only one in your friend group who knows that there is a Post Office in the Square.

Algiers Coffee House: You like your mint teas strong and have a deep down love for a great comeback story. You are a loyal and committed customer and friend, which is usually ideal, but also means you don't know when to give up.

Study Tips You Probably Know, But Need to Hear Again

You Can Do It!
Sarah L. McCuskee '13 works diligently on a paper for her tutorial in literature.

Life is great. Classes have finally ended and you’ve broken out your best holiday playlist, filled to brim with classics like “Deck the Halls” and Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” . But then you suddenly remember that the hardest two weeks of the semester are looming ahead. That’s right: finals are literally just around the corner. We wanted to take a break from our otherwise hilarious content to share a few study tips:

Make Notes Worth Studying: cut through the crap of lecture notes and psets, decide what’s important and put it on one page. If it doesn’t fit on the page, it’s probably not that important. Color code, decorate, whatever works for you. Put it on your desk or your dresser, wherever you’ll see it often. But the most important part is making the sheet, so don’t take your friend’s cheat sheet and put it on your wall instead of doing it yourself.

Test Yourself Often: Put away your notes for half an hour, go chat with your roommate, then get out a fresh sheet of paper and write down everything you remember. Compare with your previous notes and fill in the blanks in a different colored pen. Or, if you’re feeling really intense, make a practice test (with an answer key) for friends in your section–you’d be surprised how often you can guess the types of questions that will be on the actual exam.

Location, Location, Location! Like real estate, where you study matters almost as much as how you study. We think it’s best to switch it up, keep things interesting. Maybe treat yourself to a Café Crema latte and crank out an essay (no internet access, so you won’t be distracted by Facebook), or check out the silent room in Widener. When you feel yourself losing momentum, take a short walk, fill up your water bottle, or change locations entirely. Sometimes breaking your rhythm can make you more productive.And if you want to be really creative, go study outside of the Harvard bubble. Here’s a list of great locations.

Plan Ahead: if you’re reading this article, you’re already on your way to planning ahead. This is the oldest advice in the book, but still the best. A little bit of studying every day is far better than a lot of studying one day–your sleep schedule and your mental health will thank you. So make a study plan now, block out an hour per day per subject, and avoid that last minute cram.

With that said, don’t forget to take lots of breaks. The weather is still bearable, and it’s the holiday season, so don’t waste away in Lamont café. Happy studying!

Dining Delights: Chocolate Waffles

With reading period and finals (a.k.a the end of the world as we know it) rapidly approaching, it’s more important than ever to have great treats to eat while you cram nonstop. But if you’re plowing away on that last pset, chances are you don’t have time to wait for the crowd in front of the serving line to clear up. And with the weather degrading into a sad, drizzly, and cold mess, you likely want to stay inside as much as possible to stay warm.

While procrastinating for a class or two, we had an epiphany: we could make brunch more exciting without having to go on strike to convince HUDS to bring back smoked salmon on Sundays. By getting a little creative at the waffle bar, we were able to whip up chocolate waffles, and trust us: once you’ve had them, your life will never be the same again.

Ingredients

Waffle batter
Chocolate syrup (used for ice cream and Sundae Sundays)
Whipped Cream
‘Pancake’ Syrup

And if you’re feeling fancy:

Cinnamon
Soft Serve Ice Cream

Estimated Cooking Time: 7-10 minutes

Pour the waffle batter of your choice (regular or whole wheat) into a cup, filling it halfway. Then pour chocolate syrup into the cup. The waffle batter/chocolate mixture should fill most of the cup but not all of it. Use a spoon to stir the mixture so that the chocolate is fully mixed with the batter and not just resting dejectedly at the bottom of the cup.

This is important: make sure to spray the waffle iron. Too many Harvard students have ran to the waffle bar only to have their Veritaffles fall to pieces when they remove it.

Wait the two and a half minutes necessary to cook the waffle, and then pop open the waffle iron and remove your masterpiece. Adore it for a while; you likely haven’t seen anything as gorgeous since those 4.0s you used to rack up when you were in high school.

Add whipped cream and “pancake” syrup if don’t you have a friend from Vermont to supply you with actual maple syrup. You can also add many more toppings like strawberries, blueberries, cinnamon, etc… The world is your oyster—or at least the servery is. Take the obligatory snapchat and enjoy.

Netflix is Downloadable Now So Say Goodbye to Your Productivity


You: I need to finish this paper due tomorrow.

You to You: But I can watch Netflix whenever and wherever I want...

That’s right. On Wednesday, Netflix released the news that they were finally allowing users to download shows so they can watch offline. Bye-bye, any hopes of getting pity A-minuses. Hello, sweet, sweet procrastination.

So far this feature is only available on the mobile app, and users can only download select shows. But more content will be available in the future. Right now you can watch binge-worthy shows like House of Cards, Parks and Recreation, Master of None, and more.

Thought you would be able to concentrate on your p-sets in Crema? Thought you could use the excuse of unreliable wifi in Starbucks to look at lecture readings instead of Stranger Things or The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Nope. Your finals will suffer, your papers won’t be the best, but you at least you will be able to download videos in standard or high quality to watch at your leisure. C's get degrees, people.

When the next Harvard blackout occurs, it will nice to be able to watch Orange is the New Black while waiting for the wifi to restart. Though it would have been nice to have this new addition before Thanksgiving to help us deal with long flights (and avoiding relatives), we'll take any good news we can get in 2016.

Another Facebook Spat: Yardfest War 2017

Chainsmokers Throw Down
The Chainsmokers—a popular EDM duo—performs.

Get Team Jess and Team Logan from Gilmore Girls off your mind, because the real war is right in front of you, and it’s—naturally—about Yardfest 2017. The Class of 2019 Facebook group erupted with arguments this weekend while the rest of us were sleeping off our gobble wobble. The two factions are those who support Carly Rae Jepsen for this year’s Yardfest, and those who support The Chainsmokers, and of course, each side is violently opposed to the other.

Some background: rumor had it that the College Events Board was picking between these two artists, which brought the groups head to head. We‘re not entirely certain how much of the fight is sarcasm, but we’re pretty sure we know comedic gold when we see it.

If you’re trying to fill the gaping void that Harvard’s loss to Yale has left in your heart, it’s time to get involved in something else that only Harvard would take too seriously. Not entirely sold? We’ll help you choose.

The Chainsmokers

To paraphrase the Facebook spat, do you want the upcoming Yardfest to be a non-stop “certified banger”? Do you want music that’s more nuanced than “call me maybe?” Are you, like Alex Pall of the DJ duo, a self-proclaimed “frat-bro dude”? Look no further than The Chainsmokers. Yeah, okay, you’ve heard ‘Closer’ around a dozen times every weekend since it came out, but you can still get down to it! Yardfest isn’t really about the pinnacle of musical mastery, it’s about ending the year with a bang...er.

Carly Rae Jepsen

If you’re fighting on this side, the first and foremost requirement is that you abhor The Chainsmokers’ dudebro reputation and want an actual artist at Yardfest, thanks. If you think ‘Call Me Maybe’ is an underrated pop masterpiece, then you already know you’re Team Carly. In fact, you’re not even really reading this article; you’re already digging for more gross things The Chainsmokers have said. There’s only one person who can bring the right upbeat feel to Yardfest to you. Is it too soon to bring back #ImWithHer?

Staying neutral?

At this rate, you’re going to either sit Yardfest out, or intentionally pregame too hard. Don’t give up hope, though, because the CEB confirmed that they don’t haven’t whittled their list of potential headliners down to a top two yet. There’s still hope that Frank Ocean will get in the mix.

Yale Has the Mumps

UPDATED: November 29, 2016, at 4:30 p.m.

It looks like CS50 isn't the only thing Yale has decided to steal from us: according to an email sent to the Yale student body earlier today, Yale has 2 suspected cases of the mumps. Our bad, guys.

While Dr. Paul Genecin (New Haven’s counterpart to the infamous Dr. Paul J. Barreira) didn’t specifically blame the outbreak on inter-school hookups from earlier this month, he did throw some shade our way. But hey, at least the Bulldogs won’t have to suffer through quarantine at the Inn—apparently being quarantined on campus from New Haven is punishment enough.

With mumps making its long awaited comeback just days before The Game, it seems that that our very own claim to fame was almost destined to make its way all the way to New Haven. Yalies, don’t let that vaccination history fool you. No one is safe. Depending on how you decided to spend your Harvard-Yale weekend (read: how many red solo cups you decided to share with strangers, and which finals clubs you chose to frequent) your fate may have already been decided.

In his email, Genecin also cited some of the most common modes of transmission for the highly contagious virus. Note that “sloppy makeout at the Harvard-Yale tailgate” did not make the short list. Nor did “taking swigs from a bottle of vodka handed to you by a stranger,” though we’re sure that should fall under “indirect or direct contact with an infected person’s nose or throat droplets.”

While revenge may be a dish best served cold, we couldn’t wait another school year to make up for our devastating loss at this year’s Game. So, it appears that this holiday season, we decided to give Yale the gift that keeps on giving. Best of luck trying to handle the outbreak that’s taken us almost two semesters to control!

The lesson to be learned here is plain and simple: while Yale may have won the game, we gave them the mumps. That’s what you get when you mess with the Crimson.

Black Friday Essentials for Harvard Students

Black Friday is here and chances are it’s caught you unprepared. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been more focused on the psets and essays masterfully assigned on the two days between Harvard-Yale weekend and Thanksgiving break, with no time to worry about just about anything else. Now that class is over though, we can start thinking about how to make it through the end of the semester. Friday’s deals will remind us of all the things we still can’t afford, but there are a few things we at Flyby would love to see for sale that could help us all survive the end of fall semester.

Swiffer Duster

At this point in the semester,you’re not surprised anymore when people come into your room and wonder where the smell is coming from. There’s probably some unfinished Noch’s between the couch cushions, or, well we don’t even want to think what’s accumulated under your bed and around your mini fridge. It’s more than just dust (though there’s a surprisingly thick layer of that too). After spending a few days in a clean house over Thanksgiving though, you may be more horrified than usual in re-entering your dorm room. The Swiffer duster wasn’t too expensive before sale (~$20), but imagine how inexpensive they’d be at 70% off… Cough up the few dollars and invest in some simple room hygiene.

Keurig

Okay, these aren’t technically allowed in the dorms/houses, but think about it: having one could mean an unlimited caffeine source at our fingertips for the rest of the semester. If you’re one of those unfortunate souls with back-to-back final exams, coffee or tea will probably become your new lifeblood. Afterall, sleep is for those who don’t cram, and last time we checked, that excludes most of Harvard’s student population. This Friday, Keurigs are under $100. If you’re worried about having it in your room, you can always carry it with you to the library to make your friends at Lamont jealous.

Canada Goose

As soon as it hits 40 degrees, most of Harvard’s campus turns black with the coats of Canada Goose. And while the real Canadians with their sub-zero winters might be shaking their heads, you know you secretly covet these insulating jackets. The price tags are brutal -- who wants to spend over five hundred dollars for a coat?! So maybe the only time Canada Goose will be *remotely* near our measly college budgets is this weekend. If you do decide to embrace this winter like our neighbors up north do, you’ll be blessed with the warmest personal winter on record. And if recent political events force you into Canada, you’ll be prepared for that too.

Personal Paper Shredder

At only $25 this Black Friday, what better way to destroy all evidence of the failed midterms this semester? You can also use it post-finals for some stress relief. Definitely worth storming Walmart for.

2017 Edition of Mankiw’s Ec10 Textbook

Buy it now to save your Harvard-bound siblings the frustrating cost of this loose-leaf course pack. $132 could turn it into… well, whatever Mankiw feels he could still sell it for. The question is, would he even endorse a Black Friday sale? For everyone’s sake, we hope so.

And finally… Tuition

We at Flyby hope that the first thing we see on sale this Friday is our tuition. Now wouldn’t that be a Christmas miracle.

The Harvard Turkeys Refuse to Go Away Before Thanksgiving Day

Turkey Trouble
A sign on a door in Currier House imploring students to not let any of the turkeys in.
With Thanksgiving literally just around the corner, you would think that turkeys across the nation would have taken the hint that now is the time to get out of dodge. But rather than adhere to the popular Thanksgiving tune “the turkey ran away, before Thanksgiving day, for we should make a meal of him if he should stay,” the Harvard turkeys are strutting across campus in a final effort to demonstrate their deserved place as the campus mascot rather than a holiday meal.

Gaggles of turkeys, often pecking around in the grass, are common occurrences these days, both in the Square and in the Quad. You can imagine our surprise when we woke up one morning to reports of turkeys in the quad—the poor things had to get out there without the help of the shuttle! Troopers, they are.

Though Currier house residents enjoy the turkeys, the house has given them a stern reminder: a bright orange sign at the entrance reads, underlined, “do not let in the turkey.”

“There’s a little part of me that wants to do it,” confessed Sophie Westbrook ‘19, a Currier House resident who just wants to see the world drown in turkey feathers.

Currier residents are now engaged in the cultured pastime of turkey watching, providing a welcome distraction from midterm cramming and the recent Harvard-Yale loss.

“They’re right next to our reading room, and they’re not that interesting, but they’re more interesting than everyone’s work,” Westbrook said. “People just sit around and watch them.”

Students are taking the art of turkey watching very seriously, carefully observing their movements and tendencies. “Turkeys— they’re big, they stalk around, they’re scaly, they have intelligent, alien eyes,” Zeke Benshirim ‘19 reported. “They’re like small dinosaurs,” added Ana Karla Cepeda Diaz ‘19.

Turkey sightings are also a welcome reprieve from city life, Benshirim said. “I’m from the countryside— I like seeing wildlife.”

The Harvard turkeys really have pulled out all of the stops to get students in the mood for Thanksgiving. There is only one logical way that you can show your gratitude for the thoughtful visits that the turkeys have graced us with over the past few weeks— this Thanksgiving, “eat mor chikin.”

Flyby’s Guide to Surviving Another Mumps Outbreak

The telltale email from good old Dr. Paul J. Barreira, MD could have only meant one thing: mumps are back. Cue flashbacks to this past spring, when HUHS was sending out emails almost every day about the mumps situation when realistically they should have just told students not to go to the PSK.

With reading period and exams around the corner and Harvard-Yale having just concluded, it’s important to avoid getting the mumps now as much as Mankiw avoids actually giving Ec10 lectures on a regular basis. We at Flyby are committed to ensuring good health for our readers, and want to make sure that Harvard students know exactly what to do to not get the mumps. So we took it upon ourselves to summarize and add to Dr. Barriera’s email in a more student-friendly way (because hey, not everybody is a premed. Thanks, LS1b).

Cover your nose and mouth when you cough or sneeze. Thanks, HUHS. Sometimes I feel like this should be a no-brainer, but then I watch people sneezing and generally being gross on the third floor of Lamont. Please, use tissues or sneeze into your elbow.

Wash your hands frequently. Don’t be that person who just walks out of the bathroom without washing your hands. We all see you.

Do not share glasses, eating utensils, water bottles, cigarettes, lipstick/makeup, etc. Re: taking a swig out a cute guy’s red solo cup might not be the best idea.

Avoid dense social and public spaces. I’m serious. Don’t go to the PSK , or any final club for that matter, this weekend, next weekend, or ever again. Heck, maybe all of you who sold your Harvard-Yale tickets for $80 OBO had the right idea after all.

Stay healthy, Harvard.

What You Missed At The Game: Paper Planes, Plastic Bottles, and… Nudity?

Today, Harvard and Yale played “The Game” for the 133rd time, but this year, there were some novel additions to the tradition. Flyby has the rundown—and no judgment, really—for anyone who chose to skip out on the game and make money off their free ticket.

Who won?

In a shocking plot twist, Yale… won. That’s right, folks, say goodbye to a nine-year winning streak for the Crimson. But maybe it’s for the best. After all, it’s exciting to switch things up once in awhile.

What’s that on the grass?

Maybe you saw pictures, and wondered what the white specks on the field were. Hats? Flags? Anything that’s supposed to litter a football field during a game? You guessed wrong! Those are paper planes—and even plastic water bottles—that the crowd tossed out. The projectiles, many of which were created from pages of a program handed out at the beginning of the game, came from both sides of the stadium, so the jury’s still out on whether they were supposed to express triumph or frustration.

Fly Like Paper
Paper planes littered the field during the Harvard-Yale game Saturday

Well, did the rivalry get nasty?

That… depends on your definition of ‘nasty.’ Some supporters put on a display of stark, bare emotions, and not in the way you’d expect. Several Yale students stripped down to their skin late in the game and took the cheering to the next level. Sounds like someone went a little too hard at the pregame! Take it easy, Yalies. We’ll be the first to admit that you really showed us this year. More than we wanted to see.

Three Things to Help You Get Over Yale's Win

Oh, So That Happened
Andie Turner '20 reacts to Yale taking the lead towards the end of Saturday's game.

It finally happened. Yale pulled a win out of nowhere today, upsetting a long-standing tradition of Harvard winning. But don’t fret. 2016 might be shaping up to be the worst year in living history, but Flyby has you covered with a few things that’ll help you get through these troubling times:

Just remember that it took them almost 10 years

Yale’s victory is a long-time coming. We’ve beaten them nine years in a row, and often with some pretty wide margins of victory. Miracles are bound to happen sometimes, right? Let’s just chalk this one up to an aberration in time and look to next year, when we’ll most likely wipe the floor with them... again

The Party’s still going

The game isn’t even the best part of Harvard-Yale weekend. Everyone knows that most Harvard students couldn’t care less about football. The thrill of the weekend comes from all of the after parties, and the fact that you still have a few more hours left to get wilder than you’ll probably get for the rest of the semester should be helpful in dissipating that post-game sadness.

Go See Harry Potter

A new Harry Potter movie came out this weekend. We haven’t quite had the chance to see it yet because we’ve been busy, you know, enjoying Harvard-Yale, but now that our school has lost, it might be best if we all just head over to Somerville Theater and get lost in the magical world of Harry Potter all over again.

Don’t worry, Harvard. Things will get better!

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