The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Dude, That's Rude: Lecture

Lecture classes are painful enough without the added struggle of dealing with annoying classmates who haven't quite learned the etiquette of taking a lecture class. That’s why we all prefer to watch recorded lectures from the safety of our beds (wait, did we mean Netflix?). For those of us who don’t get the luxury of online lectures, please keep your rudeness to a minimum. Here are some of the rudest things you can do in lecture:

Asking a “Question” By Making a Statement

We see you, section kid. We know you’re frustrated that you can’t be as loud and obnoxious in lecture, but please, please, don’t waste our time by speaking your mind and pretending that you have a “question.” Raising the tone of your voice at the end of your sentence does not make it a question. Suck up to the professor in office hours.

Asking a Question That the Prof Just Answered

If you’re not going to listen, we can’t stop you. But we can stop you from holding up the class by asking the professor to repeat what they just said. You will get a knowing groan from your classmates if your question was answered on the previous slide.

Bringing a Feast to Lecture

We understand that it can be hard to make it to the dhall before 9 a.m. Ec1010b. But that doesn’t give you permission to eat a full course breakfast—we’re talking baked beans, bacon, and burnt toast all in one—while some of us are trying to listen. Best-case scenario, your food smells great and we are jealous and hungry. Worst-case scenario, you never quite learned how to chew quietly as a kid and you make the rest of your classmates want to reach across the table and smack the food out of your mouth.

Blocking the Rows By Sitting On the Aisle

We’ve all been in those lecture halls with rows narrower than long-haul airline economy seating. It’s awkward and impossible to climb over the kid on the end of the row just to get a seat. We end up sitting on the staircase, and that makes us sad. Be courteous, don’t just sit on the aisle, and if you do, stand up to let us pass without too much unwanted bodily contact.

Life is hard, lecture is harder, 9 a.m. lecture is hardest. We’re not in the mood in these moments of struggle, so if you do any of these things, expect us to tell you: Dude, that’s rude.

How to Motivate Yourself after Spring Break

The last two months after spring break are a special kind of hell here at sunny old Harvard. Students are coming right out of spring break and are caught between missing that carefree week and ticking off the days left before summer break. If the taste of approaching freedom is seriously affecting your ability to tackle your academics, consult our tips on how to inspire yourself to get through the homestretch while, you know, only crying once a day. At most.

Create an inspirational Pinterest board

Cheesy motivational posts might not thoroughly impress a ~sophisticated~ Harvard student but who are we kidding right now? You are desperate and you need this. That poorly photoshopped “Live. Laugh. Love” picture might be the answer to keeping it together during yet another all-nighter.

Make a to-do list

To-do lists can do wonders to your productivity, as crossing that pset off your list is not only oh-so-satisfying but also a pretty strong confidence booster. Your pride in finally being less of a broken mess might even motivate you to knock any upcoming assessments out of the park.

Treat yourself...

...to some new stationary. Getting new school supplies is unquestionably the best part of going back to school. So, relive that fresh new feeling of shopping at Staples with randos you met during Opening Days by engaging in some productive retail therapy. After all, that reminder to study for your LS1B quiz seems less nagging in a fancy notebook than it does in a crude push notification.

Take baby steps

Don’t get us wrong—we’re not here to promote procrastination, unless you’re procrastinating by reading Flyby ;). However, trying to tackle all of your neglected reading during the first day after break is a yugeee mistake. Please do yourself a favor and ease into your workload by dividing your tasks into manageable chunks.

Manage your sleep routine

Whether you spent the break staying up all night getting lit with your besties or wasting the hours away watching Netflix (or Netflix and chilling), your sleep schedule is probably all out of whack. Getting up for your 9 a.m. is going to be even more painful if you don’t ditch your spring break lifestyle, so it might be time to start going to bed before El Jefe's is the only place still open.

Use these tips to get back into the scholarly spirit and hold onto the fact that in two shorts months you’ll be able to shove this advice aside and embrace your inner sloth. Just hang on!

Quadded? Find You a River Daddy

So, you got quadded. If you’re fake, you feigned excitement upon hearing “Cabot…Cabot…Cabot!” or “Currier…Currier…Currier!” or “Pforzheimer…Pforzheimer…Pforzheimer!” right outside your room on Housing Day, and even after witnessing how vibrant of a community these houses provide, you still feel somewhat disappointed about how far away your new home is from everything else on campus. Never fear: just find you a river daddy! You'll be able to rely on the inhabitants of river houses for your daily—and nightly ;)—needs. Each house can offer you something different. Read below if you're interested:

Eliot Daddy
Are you an athlete with morning practice? Do you have to wake up at 5:45 a.m. for morning lift and it’s already 1 in the morning and walking back to the quad at night and then back to the river in the morning would give you almost 40 minutes less sleep? Get you an Eliot Daddy whose room you can sleep in at night to maximize sleep time. After all, you’ll perform better with more sleep!

Dunster/Winthrop Daddy
Getting tired of Harvard dorm life? Wanna feel like you’re on vacation and staying in a 4-star hotel? Dunster and Winthrop (starting next fall), the two most recently renovated houses on campus, can offer you hotel-like accommodations. They feature luxurious common spaces, buffet-style meals, and clean, comfortable rooms.

Lowell Daddy
Hungry and unwilling to go to and fro the quad in between classes for a total meal time of about 7 minutes? Identify a Lowell daddy to sneak you into the Winn (Lowelltell?) during the next two years of swing housing. The location is ideal, the rooming expansive, and the food options mildly delectable.

Mather Daddy
Need a quick nap? Identify a sole Mather daddy to grant you access to their dorm room. If they’re busy and not in the room, ask them to tape the door beforehand. With four singles in their room, you can nap in any one of the singles with guaranteed peace and quiet.

Quincy Daddy
Are you trying to throw a party and want river folk (and freshmen) to attend? Quincy is perfectly situated between all the houses and dorms to ensure good attendance. Your Quincy Daddy will submit the party form on your behalf and grant you their room (and if you’re lucky, snacks, beverages, and speakers) for the night.

Kirkland Daddy
Missing the unnaturally close-knit community of the Quad, yet don’t want to venture all the way back there in order to feel like you’re part of something bigger than yourself? Your Kirkland Daddy can introduce you to everyone in their tiny house, so you can have a riverside community too. #incestfest

What to Binge-Watch this Spring Break

The sun is (somewhat) out, there are more tourists about, and students are crawling out of their library nooks—spring break is starting. Whether you’re jetting off to a sandy beach, going back home (hello properly sized bed!), or staying in good ol’ Boston to network, you can finally indulge in some TV binging without feeling guilty about your three unfinished papers. Now’s your chance to check out some more underrated shows, instead of clinging to your old favorites. Here are some hidden TV gems that are as under-appreciated as the Quad and almost as entertaining as reading Chaucer out loud

Search Party
This dark comedy about a hipster Nancy Drew has a cast of Harvard-type characters. From that Spee “savior” who is always bragging about his volunteering trip to Cambodia, to awkward self-promoters trying to network, the 10 episode noir sitcom will have you laughing, crying, and relating to a bunch of college grads trying to be adults.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
If midterms and rejection from the Crimson Key Society’s comp are bringing you down, you could use some of Kimmy Schmidt’s ever-sunny attitude. Seriously, this Netflix original has more happy spunk than Dean Khurana during Visitas. The two cheerful seasons that are out right now will give you some perspective: although you’ll have FOMO from your linking group’s trip to the Bahamas, at least you haven’t been locked in a bunker for 4 years like Kimmy (oh wait, if Lamont basement counts, you totally have been).

3%
This Brazilian dystopian drama has all the elements of a perfect binge. Hot people? Check. Creepy sci fi technology? Check. Enough (but not too many) episodes to satisfy your TV cravings? Check. How can you resist?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
If our senior spring article inspired you to tone down your tendency to overachieve, you will relate to “the crazy ex” Rebecca Bunch, an Ivy-League lawyer who trades her prestigious job for a chance at happiness in California. This funny but complex show has 2 seasons available on Netflix so you can put that VPN to rest.

Young Pope
Like Tommy D, the young pope is too cool for his job. He is sizzling hot, broody and charming. He is so hip he even became a meme. If you don’t take this self-aggrandizing HBO drama too seriously, you’re in for a good time.

The Santa Clarita Diet
Although we often joke that consulting recruits turn into zombies, Drew Barrymore proves that being a zombie is oh-so fun in this new Netflix flick. This show is perfect if you looking for a light-hearted but surprisingly heart-warming family comedy with a twist. However, beware: the show features more puke than freshman dorms on Housing Day eve.

So sit back, relax, and settle in for some glorious uninterrupted hours of Netflix. You’ve earned it!

The 2017 Definitive Housing Day Video Ranking

Oscar season might be well past us, but Housing Day is almost here! What better opportunity to pretend to be a film critic? Here are Flyby’s ~totally expert~ takes on this year’s Housing Day cinematic hits and misses.

Dunster - ‘Another Day of Dunster
Whatever your opinion on La La Land is, you have to admit this video is hands-down award-worthy. We think someone needs to show this to Damien S. Chazelle ’07, stat.

4.5 stars for stunning cinemoose-tography and choreography. Can Dunster produce its own musicals now?

Eliot - ‘My House
Flo Rida’s ‘My House’ is a jam, and it’s no less a jam when rewritten for this preppy house. So this is where all of Eliot’s HoCo budget goes…
4 stars for a catchy song, and for being the first house to drop the video. Freshmen will remember that.

Cabot - ‘The Cod in the Quad

One thing we were not expecting was this Game of Thrones scene. Featuring a line that will become an instant classic, “The Quad remembers,” Cabot’s video is a spot-on parody. Points for the dim, very Thrones lighting. Although you won’t see any Kit Harington-esque hunks here, you will see our very own Dean ‘Kesh!

4 stars for changing the game, and a mention of the phrase “transformative experience.”

Winthrop - ‘Throp It Like It’s Hot
Points for shooting at the actual construction site, and of course, points for a Snoop Dogg song.
4 stars for the Disney-rap mashup, and the adorable kid at the end. We don’t know him, but we trust him.

Pfoho - ‘Pfoana
You’ve got to appreciate that Pfoho’s set up their own “Netpflix” where you can watch the current and past Housing Day videos. Pfoho called to all of us with that guinea pig and student ‘Spfa.’
4 stars for an adorable take on a modern Disney classic.

Lowell - ‘Chandelier
Great use of that crystal monstrosity. The play on swing housing is pretty genius, since this house goes into its two-year-long renovation next fall.

3.5 stars for originality and that Sia wig-morphsuit combination. It was a little terrifying at first, but it grew on us.

Quincy - ‘Be Our Guest
A song from a movie that’s technically not even out yet? Power move, Quincy, especially combined with the classic Disney costumes. We love that the house also produced a video specially dedicated to its Grille, which includes an ode to SaltBae, mozzarella sticks, and an innumerable amount of dabs.

3.5 stars for a song that will always be a favorite, and the yellow-morphsuited Lumiere who actually sang in a faux French accent.

Mather - ‘No Double
Mather released its new single… about having lots of singles. Chance would’ve been proud of this mascot with the most spirit—lots of chest-pounding—and a rap that’s actually really long and includes some pretty sick burns.
3.5 stars for song choice, and the ability to dance on top of a basketball hoop. That takes skill.

Leverett - ‘24 Carrot Magic

Unsurprisingly, Lev milks the bunny jokes to no end. We still appreciate the clever rewrite, though: “ears to tail, so player”?

3.5 stars for continuously reminding us of the video’s target audience—“freshman!”—and the adorable bunny cameos #we’reweak.

Adams - ‘Fresh Prince of the Square
Way to bring it with the throwback, Adams! We loved listening to a song that feels as old (but golden) as Adams looks itself.

3 stars for the costumes that made us nostalgic for the 90’s.

Currier - ‘Wildest Dreams
Don’t get us wrong, this is really well-made and beautifully sung. But a simple YouTube search shows that Leverett House did a rewrite of the same T-Swizzle song for their video just last year. We’re not pointing any fingers, but maybe Currier and Lev should sort this out between themselves…
3 stars. We’re sorry, but maybe it’s time to take another look at the Honor Code.

Kirkland - ‘Kirkland Song Song

A Spongebob throwback that was great in theory, but lacking a bit in execution. For the house with supposedly the most spirit, this video didn’t have us feeling too…spirited.
2 stars. Considering they killed Hamilton last year, we had high hopes.

'Twas the Night Before Housing Day

‘Twas the night before Housing Day, and all through the Square,
Blocking groups jog through the crisp Cambridge air.
Not yet hungover, knocking down shots without care,
With hopes that the Housing Gods would hear their prayers.
Supposed to be nestled all snug in their beds,
With thorough midterm notes crammed in their heads,
Freshmen instead donned their sneakers and “H” caps
Running on straight Rubinoff and a disco nap.

All about campus rang such a clatter,
Proctors sprang from their beds to see what’s the matter.
Across Mass. Ave the athletes flew like a flash,
While after a few strides the Hum10 kids crash.
The moon peering behind the Dunster House tower,
Shines down on those running into wee hours.

When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a HUPD car bringing up the rear,
With a Boston local driving whose name’s probably Rick
The runners hasten their pace right quick.

More rapid than Uber to each house they came,
And whistle and shout and call them by name:
“Now, Adams! Now, Lowell! Leverett and Quincy!
On Dunster! On Mather! Eliot, Winthrop and Kirkland!
To Quincy Grille and to Adams dhall

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!”
Merry Housing Day to all, and to all a good (safe) night!

Where to Fuel Your River Run

The only thing more iconic than completing River Run is completing River Run without yacking. Here’s where to get munchies your throughout Housing Day Eve:

Early Birds:

Beat the stomach worm. Consuming some heavier foods in advance might help you avoid chatting with (Housing) God on the big white telephone later on. If you’re trying to run responsibly, preemptively line your stomach with vodka-absorbing pizza dough or tortillas. Otto’s and Felipe’s, with their plentiful portions, are open until 12 a.m. Or if you linger at a pregame, Noch’s and Border Cafe have got you covered until 1 a.m. Border bonus: your waiter will refill your liter-tall water cup at least three times, so you’ll be uber-hydrated and ready to down those diuretics!

Re-up:
A few shots or paces in, and you might be feeling winded, hungry, or not-even-hungry-but-I’m-gonna-eat-cause-I’m-drunk. If you make it this far, take a pit stop at the Dunster Grille for a shake and some cheesy fries before 1 a.m. Whisper grace to the Dunster deities before slurping down your pick-me-up for good, greasy juju.

You also may find that while your upperclassmen friends kindly snuck you into their abodes and provided you with a round, they don’t have enough flat Sprite to temper the Burnette’s burn. Have some pity on your taste buds and purchase some chasers at the 24-hour CVS.

Night Owls:
For you marathoners not yet checked into UHS, having a chat with HUPD, or slumped in bed by an unconscionable hour, luckily Harvard Square has a diverse array of late-late-night joints to cater to your inebriated, shameless, crazy college kid whims. If somehow your buzz has worn off, The Kong, open until 2 a.m. beckons with its scorpion bowls and mounds of white rice to soak up whatever the hell is in the scorpion bowls. If you’re in the mood to be disoriented by bright white tile and fluorescent lighting and listen to a series of numbers be shouted out until it’s your Price Is Right moment, head to tried-and-true Tasty, open until 2 a.m. Oft overlooked is Falafel Corner, open until 3 a.m., where you likely won’t have to wait in line and can savor some street meat. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, stop by Insomnia before 3 a.m. on your way back from Lowell and on the way to Adams, order a dozen cookies, and divide among your blocking group. When your night is finally over, like a reliable booty-call, Señor Jefe’s will be there until 4 a.m. Or, if you’re pulling an all nighter, rally at 24-hour Market with some overpriced coffee and a breakfast sandwich.

Cheers and Bon Appetit!

The Class of 2020's Best Blocking Group Names

To commemorate Housing Day 2017, Flyby decided to honor some of the Class of 2020’s most clever blocking group names. Although the extent of freshmen creativity is mainly limited to puns on the word “block,” there are certainly a few gems thrown into the mix

Looking On
Tommy D. approves.

Pass the Blaux Cord
A relevant twist on a classic meme is always appreciated.

[Insert Problockative Group Name Here]
A block pun and a saucy way to avoid getting an awkward email from the Office of Student Life about your provocative blocking group name.

Fake a$$ h0es
A brash way to get an awkward email from the Office of Student Life.

Blocker Room Talk
Hopefully the only thing they’ll be grabbing is a River House t-shirt this housing day.

Boston Three Party
Keeping things relevant to quantity, location, and ‘Murica.

The Communist Bloc
Just a cute group of comrades trying to seize the means of production while still aiming for an A in Ec10b.

Anti-Sssssssssnakes
A group dedicated to a noble cause.

El Jefe’s Blockeria
The only thing we love more than El Jefe’s is this blocking group. Thank you for this. You win Housing Day.

And to everyone with lame blocking group names, we hope your future includes a nice, long walk to the Quad.

Just kidding, everyone knows we love the Quad here at Flyby.

The Do's and Dont's of Housing Day

Housing Day is quite literally just around the corner, and every Harvard student is gearing up to either 1) do river run and pray the river gods bless them or 2) pee in the Quad and pray for the river, or 3) get lit on Thursday morning and deliver amazing (or tragic) news for the freshmen. There are many ways to do Housing Day correctly, but there are also so many ways to do it poorly.

Take heed all ye Harvardians, because if you mess up this day you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Don’t: Travel loudly with your 8-person blocking group and try to walk past the aggressive House security guards.

You will be stopped. Your ID will be checked. You will be sent away.

Do: Get pumped with your blocking group on Thursday morning.

Maybe even spend the night in the same place! Definitely attend your entryway’s Housing Day breakfast events as a group. Peer outside at the houses gathering and get excited.

Don’t: Wait in a room with multiple blocking groups.

You won’t know whether to cheer or cry until an upperclassmen physically hands the letter to someone in your blocking group.

Do: Be prepared to get any house.

If your heart is set on one house, there is an 11/12 chance you could be disappointed. Thank you for equipping me with the skills to do that math, Joe Blitzstein.

Don’t: Cry if you get Quadded.

Even though the Quad is a faraway, barren place, try to save the tears for after the excited upperclassmen storm your room. Imagine if you were in their shoes.

Do: Partake in Housing Day festivities.

After you get your housing assignment, go to the Berg! Get free things! And definitely attend your new House’s steins and evening events to start mingling with others in your new house.

Don’t: Get festive to the point where you can’t wake up for your spring break flight home or your Friday classes (if you’re an unlucky soul with 9 am lecture Friday)

This is a shoutout for all of the people in Chem27, PS11, Stat, or a language class on Friday. Try not to concern your professor or teaching fellow by stumbling in wearing Wednesday night’s PJs Friday morning.

Get ready for the best day of the year!

Harvard Dropout to Give Address to Harvard Graduates

Yes, it’s true, Mark E. Zuckerberg (note the absence of class year), will speak at the University’s 366th Commencement Ceremony this Spring. Apparently having moved past the trauma of not getting into the Phoenix Club, the Facebook founder will show his face on campus.

Mark Zuckerberg 2004
Mark Zuckerberg works in his Kirkland dorm room in 2004, following the launch of thefacebook.com.

For graduating seniors, there’s a certain degree to which any advice the Facebook creator gives will be taken with a grain a salt, as each audience member will have something over Zuckerberg: actually graduating from Harvard. Yeah, he’s one of the richest and most successful nerds in the world, but he doesn’t have that Crimson-sealed piece of paper. Tell that to your friends back home.

Besides the whole ditch-college-make-billions spiel, we’re wondering what the dropout has to say. Maybe he’ll take some notes from fellow billionaire dropout Bill Gates’ 2007 commencement speech.

A commencement appearance seems to be a sentimental (albeit ironic) way to come full circle and reflect on his Harvard roots, so there are a couple different directions this speech could go. Will he reminisce about his own college experience, during which he was AdBoarded for creating facemash.com—the predecessor to a worldwide social network? Or will he talk about the time he was swerved by heavyweight rowers? Eh, that all happened over a decade ago, so today’s Harvard graduates probably couldn’t relate. Not like there are currently exclusive social spaces on campus or anything.

Will Zuckerberg throw shade at Harvard or idolize it? Will he show off his cool A.I. Jarvis? Will Annenberg one day be Zuckerberg? These are the important questions.

ICYMI: Harvard Thinks Reading Chaucer Together is Lit

You ever have one of those days when you can’t quite tell if something is satire or not? That’s what we’re going through right now. Normally you can check the source’s url—if it’s the Onion or some other funny-sounding publication, you can write it off as a joke and move on. But what happens when the source is the most prestigious university in the world?

Chaucer Wants to Party
Chaucer wants to party. Do you let him in?

In case you missed it, the College’s Implementation Committee for the Policy on Membership in Single Gender Social Organizations (oh god we’re never writing that again) released its recommendations today. If you’re looking for a brief rundown of what’s in their report, check out this article from our main site. If you’re looking for a laugh, look no further:

“We recommend that the College undertake a three-year pilot program of inter-house dining societies, followed by an assessment...Here is how the program as a whole could work. Each society would be “adopted” or hosted by (generally) pairs of Houses, ideally with contrasting physical amenities. Each society would then meet (generally) weekly for a group meal in one or the other of its two host Houses (generally rotating between them)... Societies might set special themes for some of their meals, purchase special desserts, invite special guests, eat in elegant attire, read Chaucer out loud, or anything else they enjoy.”

That has to be satire, right? We have definitely never been to a party where someone has been like “you know what this rager needs? Some English lit from the Middle Ages.”

That is not lit. Just ask Princeton.

Best response to the news so far? Someone in the comments section on the Crimson’s article about the report wrote that the members of the committee are “detached from all reality, or perhaps hostages desperately signaling for help.”

Don’t worry, folks! We’ll come save you from that good old ivory tower and invite you to a real party sometime soon. You have to promise to leave your Shakespeare anthologies at home.

But in all seriousness, please tell us the College just "Kesh'd" us. This can't be real.

Young Justin Trudeau Was Also a Hottie

You may have read our post a few years back about Joe Biden's...attractiveness when he was young. We might have found someone even more attractive.

It’s true: Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau—while he is certainly a very accomplished politician—is also quite accomplished in the looks department.

Unlike many of us who had that awkward puberty stage and had to wait to “glow up,” It appears he has just always been this hot. So take a stare or two at his life as a hottie for your mid-afternoon study break:

He could have been your favorite FOP leader.

Or a lowkey member of the Advocate #hipster.

Or one of the only hot lifeguards at the MAC.

Or a member of the AD. We see you rocking that long-sleeved shirt and vest look.

Justin Trudeau, please let us know if you’ll be in the Boston area (aka visiting Harvard) anytime soon whether it be at an IOP event or just to hang out with President Faust. We Harvard students could certainly use the presence of an attractive, humble, and accomplished man.

The Bachelor Drinking Game

Whether you’re an avid fan or a vocal protester of the show, you’ve probably seen The Bachelor at least once. Two hours a week of symmetric-faced individuals all aggressively pining after a complete stranger—what’s not to like? The only thing that could make the series better is getting as sloshed as all its contestants constantly are. Although this season's almost over, this drinking game will survive longer than the “relationship” between Nick and whichever girl he winds up picking. While you’re getting pissed off at one of the annoying contestants (we’re looking at you, Corinne), why not get piss drunk as well?

rose
He loves me, he loves me SHOT.

Take a Drink Every Time:
One of the following adjectives is used to describe a contestant or Bachelor/ette—sincere, amazing, intelligent, sexy, attractive, incredible, or any non-specific adjective that could be applied to anyone. Take a longer swig if the Bachelor/ette uses the exact same adjectives to describe more than one contestant.

A contestant gives a back-handed compliment to another contestant or about another contestant in one of the confessional scenes. The faker it seems, the longer you should drink.

Someone is convinced they’re the one not getting the rose that week. They usually agonize over the prospect in tears (see below) in a confessional style interview right before they *gasp* get a rose.

Take a Shot:
Every time someone starts crying. One shot per manicured eye-dropped tear roll. If it’s unconvincing and unnecessary, take two.

If the Bachelor/ette kisses two or more different contestants with no commercial breaks in between. Multiple makeout seshes in an uninterrupted airing means pound that vodka.

Finish Your Drink:
If a contestant says anything about being in love with the Bachelor/ette, which includes a wide range from “I think I’m really falling for him…” to straight up “I’m in love with you.”

If your least favorite contestant goes home at the end of the episode, finish your drink.

Follow these “rules” and you’ll hopefully be absolutely smashed by the end of the excruciatingly drawn-out episode. If you’re marathoning it, make sure to rent out a bed in UHS and phone in the amnesty policy ahead of time. Happy drinking!

Kesh Him Outside: Khurana On His New Meme Fame

We know Rihanna and Viola Davis have come and gone, but don’t fret—we have a new celebrity on campus. Dean of the College Rakesh Khurana’s fame has soared in recent weeks since he became the face of Harvard’s new meme group, a Facebook page titled “Harvard Memes for 1% Elitist Tweens.”

Khurana is a meme
Dean of the College Rakesh Khurana's newfound status as a campus meme has left him unconcerned.
Khurana, who is known on the page simply as ‘Kesh,’ has had his face photoshopped onto a wide variety of figures including Ke$ha and Spongebob Squarepants.

“Rakesh me ousside, how bow dah,” reads one post.

“You have been visited by HBS ’Kesh of the abyss,” reads another. “Psets and transformative experiences will come to you.”

Flyby sat down with Khurana to see how he is handling his newfound popularity. The Dean seemed unconcerned.

“I predict in the future everyone will have a meme about them,” Khurana said in an interview Friday. “It’s like kind of a version of Andy Warhol’s fifteen minutes, everybody will be a meme at some point in their life.”

We can’t wait for our turn—we’re sure it’ll be a “transformative experience.”

Apparently Fire Alarms are the Harvard Way of Avoiding Conflict

Remember back in elementary school (or middle school, depending on which state you’re from) when you first learned about fight or flight? Those two options when faced with a stressful situation seemed like polar opposites, but we’ve always liked to consider Harvard students quite innovative. So here we are. With a response that could easily be considered both fight and flight—pulling a fire alarm.

Today, Flyby is going to answer a question that has plagued Harvard since whenever fire alarms became a thing. Is pulling a fire alarm fight or flight? Let’s begin.

Fight

So if you don’t really use Facebook or speak to other people, the fact that Martin Shkreli came to campus last month might be news to you. Shkreli is infamous for hiking up the price of Daraprim, an HIV/AIDS drug, from $13.50 to $750 per pill. He’s also infamous for competing with the best of the best of internet trolls.

Shkreli was invited to campus to speak by the Harvard Financial Analysts Club, but before his talk could even start, someone pulled a fire alarm. Now let’s examine. Someone decided that pulling a fire alarm would be the best course of action to stop this controversial event. As purely petty people, we can respect the fact that someone wanted Shkreli and attendees to stand out in the rain for 30 minutes. This event alone really racks up the argument for why pulling an alarm is definitely a “fight” method.

Flight

Given the number of times that Harvard students have done this during exams, we’re surprised that it’s not included in the “What to do if it’s the night before your exam” section of student study guides. The best part about the fire alarm pulled during the EC1010B exam is that this has happened over and over and over again. We were all taught to leave dangerous situations, but apparently some students have taken this to heart more than others. Sometimes simply zoning out is not enough. Pull a fire alarm and you get to physically leave the exam. A big con of this method though is that a fire alarm is just an alarm. You have to go back eventually.

Winner

Fight. The winning aspect of this method is that people aren’t pulling alarms to leave the situation forever. People are just pulling alarms as an ultra-annoying “screw you” to whatever situation that they’re currently in. And even if you don’t like to pull fire alarms, that’s a concept we can all understand.

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