The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Study Spot: Cabot Dining Hall

We know you Riverhouse folk can’t go more than 5 minutes without sh*tting on the Quad, but hear us out. Cabot D-Hall is actually a pretty great place to study.

There are smaller rooms you can sit in if you need to, but past 8 p.m. Cabot D-Hall isn’t really poppin’. Yeah, there are some groups of people studying/watching Netflix/chatting quietly, but it’s not super busy. Yours truly had a table all to herself. Granted, during reading period/midterms/exams, this probably won’t last. But from 8:30 p.m.-3 a.m., it’s a mostly quiet place to work. And they have food.

Speaking of food, @frosh, there’s no swipe, so you can just waltz on in and have the usual selection of bagels and bread, or you can get fancy and have some pita bread, hummus, or whatever else they have out without having to worry about being turned away.

My favorite part about Cabot D-Hall? How bright and cheery it was. People were genuinely excited to bump into each other (no, not literally, no one is ever literally excited to bump into someone in a d-hall… unless it’s your crush ;) ). Also, two people dropped off about a dozen cupcakes and just left them. Someone else brought half a bundt cake. Cabot is a place of shared food. Perfect for moochers.

So here’s the skinny of it. Cabot D-Hall has a lot of pep (see: Dean Khurana hosted a Christmas tree decorating party for the tree in the D-Hall*), but is actually a pretty nice place to study. Just beware: your butt will go numb after sitting on the wooden chairs for a few hours, and there is a vacuum that will come around midnight and make noise that will devour the world.

*Please note: Christmas decorations not included year-round

Study Spot: Mather House Library

Mather House Library
Mather House's library is a hidden study spot treasure.

The “Mather is ugly” roast is pretty low-hanging fruit amongst undergrads at the College. The library, however, is lowkey pretty nice. The cozy two-storied chamber of knowledge is armed with a computer lab of Macs and PCs, color printing, and spinny chairs that entertain me while I contemplate how I’m going to salvage a C- in Hebrew Bible. Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Sociability: The actual library is teeming with desks both large and small scattered throughout little nooks around the building, making it a perfect place to get focused group work done or to put your headphones in and bang out papers in solitude until the wee hours of the morning. It is one of the rare places on campus that is completely quiet.

Crowds: Given that it is a little far from Yard-centered activities, there are seldom actually people in the Mather Library. Your only competition for seats are other Mather residents, who typically work in the dining hall or side study rooms.

Ambiance: The actual feel of the library somehow is always warm, which is fascinating because Mather has some of the coldest architecture I’ve ever seen. The carpets, cushioned seats, and stacks of outdated Zoobooks and Sports Illustrateds provide a nostalgic, homey feeling to the concrete chamber of knowledge. If you’ve convinced yourself that natural lighting somehow makes you study better, take a seat by the windows lining the courtyard. Watch the leaves blow and unofficial house canine mascots June, Steve, and Laika run around and live far less stressed lives than you.

Amenities: There isn’t a whole lot going on in this library, but it is a few steps away from the Mather dining hall, which always has sandwich-making array, four cereal options, and juice/milk/soda machines loaded for Brain Break (starting at 9 PM). Plus, Mather is right by Louie’s, so if you need a late night 30-rack to get you through exam prep, acquiring one won’t be a problem for you.

If you somehow find yourself seven counties away and in the Mather House courtyard, we highly recommend that you take some time to hastily submit your discussion posts from the Mather Library. It’s cozy as heck, and no one will walk in on you napping in the corners because few people venture as far to Mather as it is.

Study Spot: Northwest Labs Basement

CS50 Fair
Northwest Labs, home of the infamous CS50 Fair, is not usually this packed—trust us.

Part III in a series. Read Parts I and II.

While the thought of trekking to Northwest Labs is enough to strike fear in even the bravest of hearts, think about it this way: how bad is a measly final when you have just overcome a hike of such proportions? Other advantages include burning enough calories for you to stress-eat an additional gallon of ice cream and being able to study in complete solitude because who else is desperate enough to travel to this distant land for the purpose of studying? Hit up 52 Oxford St Monday through Friday from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. if this is a compelling enough argument.

Sociability: The basement has tables that are meant for collaboration (but are often just occupied by lone students scrambling to finish their work) as well as red comfy couches. It has a good balance of white noise where you can work independently if you want, or work on a group project with your friends.

Crowds: Few people dare to travel this far, so the chances of running into a friend or your d-hall crush here are slim to none. Chances are, the only people you will encounter here are loners doing their best to utilize their fleeting bursts of productivity while waiting to attend their next class in the building, or fellow students who have decided that they have had enough and have chosen to doze on the couches rather than shed another tear over their impending doom.

Ambiance: This vast expanse of space has comfy red couches tucked away in a corner (that are perfect for nap breaks), but the center of the room is filled with tables and chairs for you to toil away on. The airy atmosphere and sleek design of the building is almost enough to make you think that the trek was worth it.

Bonus: With one of the nicer bathrooms on campus, convenient access to water fountains, and its own café for your caffeine needs, you might as well make the most out of your trek and just stay here from open to close.

So if you’re one who likes to take the path less taken, someone who is willing to do what it takes to find a quiet spot where not a single soul can bother you, someone who keeps telling themselves that they’ll go to the gym as they eat candy bar after candy bar in a stressed-out frenzy, someone who knows that the time they spend walking to a location would have been spent procrastinating anyway, then Northwest Labs Basement is the study spot for you.

Study Spot: Weld Solarium


Part II in a series. To read Part I, follow this link.

The Weld Solarium is the study spot you didn’t know you needed, and is especially convenient for anyone who’s in the Yard and reluctant to go to a library. It's literally always open, so take the elevator in Weld up to the 5th floor and then walk up the last flight of stairs to reach this hidden gem.

Sociability: You can totally go up to the Solarium just hang out with your friends on the couches, but since it’s a pretty small room, it’s also easy to get some solid work done by occupying the sole table in the room.

Crowds: We’ve never seen more than one other person up there, but hey, it could happen. Since it is a dorm, we imagine it gets more crowded in the evenings with people looking to hang out, but it’s usually empty during the day.

Ambiance: Since all four of the walls are windows, the Solarium not only has some killer views of the Yard, but also an artsy and well-lit vibe that will definitely help you struggle over your Math 21A notes. There are also two couches, which you can conveniently lie on to despair about the impending doom that is finals. That being said, at least you’re despairing in bright natural light.

Amenities: There’s nothing up here, but there aren’t rules either, so you can definitely bring whatever food/drink your heart desires to ease the burden of your studies.

Bonus: Since the room is usually deserted, there is no one to judge you for playing music out loud, watching Netflix instead of studying, or having a good old fashioned breakdown. Walk up the last flight of stairs with caution late at night though, we heard a rumour once that couples make out up there.

Study Spots Spotlight: Wigg Basement


Part I of a series.

Reading period may be in its dying moments, but the studying doesn't end there. If you have exams that run all the way to the end of the semester, Flyby's compiled some off-the-beaten-path study spots where you can hunker down to concentrate. Check back over the next few days for new installations to the series.

First up: the basement of Wigglesworth

When it comes to late night studying on the weekends, freshmen are hopelessly limited on options. If you’re sick of your dorm or just need a space for collaborative work past 10 p.m., Wigg Basement is always available. It's open 24/7.

Wigg Basement Study Spot
Wigg Basement may not be the most beautiful space, but it has its charms.
Sociability: Wigg Basement is a social environment where people are free to talk and work with others. For quieter work, there are usually isolated tables or quieter rooms within the network of basement hallways. As a dorm basement goes, Wigg’s can get very social, which offers both a refreshing break and potential distractions. This study space is suited for those with collaborative work and the ability to work in white noise.

Crowds: Because this study spot is technically a common basement in a dorm, Wigg students get first priority in any space, and it may be difficult to find a quiet spot in a typically social environment. Noise level typically decreases the later the night gets, but just in case, be ready to block out the noise of passionate ping pong matches while studying. Nevertheless, people will probably raid the libraries, leaving this basement a potential gem for discreet study spots.

Ambiance: Ambiance is not the highest priority in a basement, to say the least. Although Wigg provides one of the only late night, publically accessible study spaces for freshmen, a basement was not designed to be a library, so expect stuffy rooms and warmer temperatures. With fluorescent lighting, bleak walls, and wooden, ancient tables, Wigg's basement has a subtly despondent atmosphere that can either raise stress levels or be just the vibe one needs to be focused.

Bonus: Objectively, a basement is a last resort for a study space. Wiggs basement’s greatest—and perhaps only—appeal is that it is the nearest public space open for freshmen. Basements may be bare and hot, but if it’s 3 a.m. during cuffing season and midterms are tomorrow, no one can really afford to complain.

Wholesome Harvard Things that Keep Us Going

At this point of the semester, the twinkle in our eyes is gone, as is any desire to power through reading period. Small pleasures like seeing your crush or not having your grill order stolen are the only things that keep our will to live somewhat intact. If your idea of self-care consists of crying in the bathroom in between classes, you’ll relate to these wholesome Harvard things that separate us from dreaming of throwing a lit cigarette in the direction of gasoline soaked Lamont at night. Obviously, most of these will be food related.

Poutine Wednesdays

We give HUDS a lot of crap, but we still have to admit that the scrumptious smell of fresh french fries in the dining hall can put a half-smile on any weary face. Poutine Wednesday might be what prevents some of us from completely giving up and dropping out.

Tutor dogs

If a cute puppy roaming around your house cannot warm your cold dead heart, you might as well quit because nothing ever will.

Cancelled classes

The only pleasurable Canvas notification to receive is a half-baked apology note from your professor about cancelling a class. Bonus points if the cancellation results in your midterm getting pushed back (looking at you Psy 18).

Leftovers in the dhall

Cold takeout leftovers left in the dhall by an especially unpopular student organization from their sad little study break are inarguably the best part of House life (even if they’re basically solidified grease at that point).

After class naps

Research has shown that most students waste morning lectures daydreaming about the 4 hour nap they’ll take after. No shame in trying to keep the dark void from fully enveloping your soul.

Currier Duck

Currier House may be irrelevant, but it's only redeeming quality is also the most ~wholesome~.

If you can’t appreciate any of these little delights you probably have been truly dead inside for a while.

How to Clean Your Inbox

Email sucks. You know it, we know it, everyone knows it. When the Mail app on your phone shows a number over 100, it’s stressful. When you’re at 10 or 20 thousand, well, let’s just say it’s time for an intervention.

Be rude. Just do it.

Over the years, you’ve gone to extracurricular fairs and been cajoled into signing up for 50 mailing lists you didn’t actually care about. We hate to say it, but it’s time. Time to email the people in charge of these lists to remove you. Yeah, we know, how can you say you’re just not interested in programming for kids with cancer, or helping the homeless? What kind of a horrible person are you? Remember: you care, you might even care a lot, you just can’t get 30 emails a day about them. You’ll feel crappy, but once you stop missing emails from TFs under the landslide of listserv emails, you’ll feel less crappy. Promise.

UNSUBSCRIBE.

In a similar vein, unsubscribe from mailing lists. Do you really need to know every new product coming in at Sephora? Do you really need to know that Nike socks are on sale? No. You don’t. Suck it up, scroll to the bottom of the email, and unsubscribe.

Mass-delete old emails

Do you have a lot of emails from freshman year that you just never got around to opening, and the number of unread emails you have is stressing you out? You can delete emails en masse! Plug “before:YYYY/MM/DD” into your search bar, click “select all conversations that match this search”, and then delete. Poof!

Tasks

In Gmail, there’s an option under the “More” tab that says “Add to Tasks”. If there’s an email about an assignment that’s due, add it to Tasks, which will appear as a little window at the bottom of your Gmail screen page. That way, you won’t forget about it, because you’ll always be able to see it. Also do this for emails you need to respond to, but haven’t the time right this second.

Labels

Did you know you could label emails from certain senders? Select a few emails and then look at the top of the email page–there should be a button with what looks like a tag on it. You can click that and create a label (i.e. CS50), and label every email from your professor or TF with that tag. The label will also pop up on the side under “Drafts”, which makes it easy to look at all those emails at once. You could also just label things “Class”, “Dems”, “News” etc.

Labs

Click on the gadget button in the upper right corner and go to “Settings”. There will be a window that says “Labs” that you can click on to see organizational options that have been created for Gmail, but aren’t quite tested enough to have been fully integrated into the system. There’s a warning that the systems you enable might fail, but it won’t ruin your email account if one of them fails, don’t worry. For example, a useful one is to have your Google Calendar pop up on the left column of the screen with all your events for the day. Play around with them, but use them at your own risk.

There are probably tons more ways for you to get your email life together, but we hope these tips are quick and easy to follow. Now, go get back to getting the rest of your actual life together.

Flyby’s Gift Exchange Picks

Carry-on Cocktail
For the day drinker.

It’s early December, finals are nearing, and holiday decorations have started to appear everywhere. It’s time for all of your annual holiday gift exchanges. While we all mean well, it's easy to get caught up in one too many things and all of a sudden you’re wrapped up (pun intended) in your blocking group’s Secret Santa and a White Elephant with some random club that you barely participate in. You’ve bought zero gifts. You have zero ideas. Lucky for you, Flyby has scoured the Square for the best last-minute gifts that will fool your friends into thinking that you have your life together.

Under $5

Ah, the classic “under $5” gift exchange, where everyone ends up just buying a jumbo size bag of candy from CVS. This year, you don’t have to be that person.

For the person who asks irritating questions just to sound smart:

Head to Black Ink and pick up a Sudoku Puzzle Cube...it’s a rubik’s cube and sudoku combined, which should temper their ego for at least a few minutes before they inevitably figure it out. $4.95.

For the person who might actually be five years old in the most endearing way:

Modeling Clay is fun at any age, and Black Ink can hook you up with a 24 color pack that is sure to make anyone smile, no matter how mature they may pretend to be. $5.00.

Clay modeling
For the child at heart.

For the person that you hate but somehow have to get a gift for:

Black Ink’s got you covered again, but this time in the form of five mini finger hands. five mini finger hands. Enough said. $1.00 each.

For the person that you need to get a sweet/sophisticated gift for:

Urban Outfitters has tiny little succulent plants that are just waiting to be put on a desk in a trendy dorm room. $5.00.

Under $15

Stepping it up a notch, now you have a big enough budget to actually get something reasonably interesting. But what?

For the person that you need to get a sweet//sophisticated gift for:

Cute (and sassy) mugs are always a good idea, and Urban Outfitters has got you covered. Take your pick based on the giftee between elegant rainbow duochrome glasses, sassy butt shaped mugs, or a variety of fun prints. $12.00-$16.00.

For the person who asks irritating questions just to sound smart:

The Harvard Book Store sells a mini “Shakespeare Box Set” complete with an (abridged?) version of three shakespeare classics, all neatly packaged up with a charming illustration of the Bard himself. $13.95.

For the person who might actually be 5 years old in the most endearing way:

Decorating your walls and ceiling was a staple of many good childhoods. Inspire nostalgia in your dorm room with a Galaxy-In-A-Tin, which includes over 80 glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, from Urban Outfitters. $12.99.

For the person that you hate but somehow have to get a gift for:

Black Ink has an entire basket of “Holiday Special! Limited Time” very creepy plastic baby dolls. The perfect way to give someone nightmares disguised in the form of a physical gift. $10.00.

Under $25

Ah, now the spending limit where you’re actually expected to get something great. The pressure is real, but so are these curated suggestions.

For the person that you need to get a sweet/appropriate/sophisticated gift for:

For your artsy, bookish friend, pop into the Harvard Book Store, and seek out the matted art prints which showcase literary-themed images constructed from the words of the novel they portray. Classy, smart, and perfect for boring dorm walls. $20.00.

For your friend who’s definitely 21 or older:

Urban Outfitters sells adorable/classy AF cocktail kits that include everything to make fancy cocktails except the alcohol, all wrapped up in a little metal tin that barely even needs to be wrapped. $24.00.

For the person who might actually be five years old in the most endearing way:

Take it back a decade or two and introduce your friend to their very own Chia Pet, courtesy of Urban Outfitters. They might be confused and a little disappointed, but they’ll grow to love their new friend! $24.00.

For the person who asks irritating questions just to sound smart:

The Harvard Book Store has you covered with a book titled “This Will Make You Smarter,” just to mess with the mind of whoever is too convinced of their own intellect. $15.99.

Get Smarter!
For section kid.

For the person that you hate but somehow have to get a gift for:

As you’re wandering the packed shelves of Black Ink, you may stumble upon a gumball dispenser filled with ping pong balls. Make a public scene in Black Ink when you camp out with a bag of quarters, and then sorely disappoint your giftee later when you arrive with a giant box that ends up being filled with no less than 100 ping pong balls. $0.25 each.

Tips for Filling Out the Q-Guide

In case you haven’t checked your Harvard email in a few days, the Q-Guide is out. Why bother filling it out at all? Well, you want to give future students a bit of a sense of what they’re getting into — either a spectacular, as Rakesh would say “transformative experience,” or a shit show that will have you wondering why you even decided to go to college. Even if no one takes your advice, you’ll at least get your transcript just in time for the holidays—and just in time to have an awkward conversation with your parents about why “grade inflation” doesn’t seem to apply to you. On to the Q!

In your opinion, what preparation or background is necessary to take this course?

One year of single-variable calculus, a tendency for self-sabotage, and a Xanax prescription with unlimited refills.

How much money did you spend on this course?

Do you select “nothing” because you got away with borrowing your roommate’s older brother’s ex-girlfriend’s coffee-stained textbook from 1986? Or do you choose “greater than $300” because this course alone is the reason why you maxed out your credit card at C’est Bon?

Evaluate your TF:

You don’t want to be too harsh, but wouldn’t it be more humane to future students to put an end to this person’s teaching career before it has a chance to start? Try listing alternative, more useful ways Harvard could employ this individual: Tourist Control Supervisor, Party Locator Manager…

Evaluate your instructor on the following: gives effective lectures or presentations, if applicable:

That one lecture you attended in mid-September was actually pretty interesting…you’ll be going with “not applicable”.

Would you recommend this course?

Uh, no? Unless your ex is reading this. But you’d only recommend the best of Harvard to this person, like mumps and HUDS’s latest attempt at hipster cuisine.

Winter Formal: Go or No?

It’s that time of the year again, folks: winter formal season. Much like your section TF, these dances can be extremely nice… but almost too good to be true. With this comes the eternal question: to go or not to go? We can help you make that decision by considering a few simple factors.

The Cost

On any normal day, $20 for a dance wouldn’t seem so outrageous, but it’s the holiday season. Your mother’s already guilted you into buying gifts for everyone in the family. Yes—even your fourth cousins thrice-removed. Low on money, you balk at the cost of all these dances. Plus, if you go to more than one, the price can very quickly add up. If you don’t want to run your bank account into the ground, you go to a maximum of a few of these. Do not treat formals as Pokemon—you don’t have to catch ‘em all.

The Date

Ever wanted to talk more with that girl in section? Or that guy you see across from you in the library every day? Winter formals give you the perfect excuse to ask them out without seeming like an overly forward, sex-deprived ghoul. That is, of course, with the exception of Kirkland’s infamous Incestfest, with its distinct Alabama feel and square dancing. K-House readers…maybe don’t invite someone to that.

The Number

Seriously, the River Houses have so many, there’s a winter formal for every time Cher has had a Botox injection or facelift. On the other hand, Quadlings are about as dance deprived as that ridiculous town from Footloose. So go to Quad Formal while you have the chance to dance!

The Timing

Next week, when you’re running around the Yard at 4 a.m. completely plastered from the three jelly shots, half a bottle of tequila, and entire bottle of Sauvignon you sipped at (chugged) that night, let us know if you think Reading Period is supposed to be “formal.” Yeah, we didn’t think so.

The Timing, Part Two

Are you a freshman? Don’t go. You’ll get your turn. For now, you can hold on for spring formals. Are you a freshman who’s been invited by an upperclassman? Okay, go. Just do not brag to all your friends about it. You got a formal date, not a Nobel prize.

Stay safe and formal on, kids.

A Flyby-Advent Calendar: 25 Days of Harvard

The Holidays are Coming
Students dress up in holiday attire for dancing festivities in the Science Center Plaza.

Whatever your religious beliefs, there’s one thing we all can have faith in: School is hard. Finals period can be harder, or it can be easier...it all depends on your attitude. We’ve got some predictions for what’s in store for the next three weeks.

Dec 1: Leave Ec1010a and pledge never to take a MWF 10 a.m. again (read: bring back Thirsty Thursday).

Dec 2: Find your Santa hat and ugly Christmas sweater strewn across the floor of the room you ended up in after first night of reading period festivities.

Dec 3: Partying on a Sunday? Why not, there’s gotta be some time that you can live a normal college kid lifestyle.

Dec 4: Your Google Calendar says: “I’m going to do a full six-hour school day studying in Lamont on Monday.” You say: “I’m going to do a full six-hour Stranger Things binge in my bed on Monday.”

Dec 5: Scramble to get an invite to the last of the final club holiday dinners. Maybe plan to “study” with that cute kid in the Owl from math class.

Dec 6: Deliver generic candle or Starbucks gift card to that TF who you absolutely need to bump up your grade.

Dec 7: 15-page paper due tomorrow? We thought you said 15-day bender starting tomorrow.

Dec 8: Primal scream. Enough said.

Dec 9: Saturday morning final, or your average weekend class schedule at prep school.

Dec 10: Reading period part two, LFG. Warning: The respite is short lived.

Dec 11: Fill out the Q-Guide to procrastinate and roast that teacher who made your life miserable all semester.

Dec 12: Cry because all your friends had early finals and left you alone in this barren wasteland of academic expectations.

Dec 13: Cry because you’re alone in your room and you somehow miss the incredibly annoying sound of your roommate’s microwave/alarm/Doo-Hickey that you have no clue what it does.

Dec 14: Get your ish together because you believe in yourself now that you did well on a Gen-Ed gem final. Hooray!

Dec 15: Cry again because you realize you can’t do anything and you’re a failure.

Dec 16: Take a break and watch the new Star Wars movie. Hey, you’ve done a lot of crying in the past 72 hours. You deserve this.

Dec 17: Book your tickets outta Cambridge for the 21st of December. We’re leavin’, baby!

Dec 18: Realize winter housing actually closes on the 20th. Buy a gift hamper to bribe your House administrator or the FDO with. (It’s between the two of you, you promise!)

Dec 19: You knew the Q-Guide was lying when it gave a math class a 4.9. Joe Blitzstein is life, but that 9 a.m. final on the last day was not cool.

Dec 20: Cry to your mom and make her promise that she won’t make you do a pset ever again.

Dec 21: Go shopping for presents and pick up your favorite book from philosophy class to impress your intellectual friend. Who said your fancy humanities education wouldn’t be practical?

Dec 22: Remember that your grades might be posted and choose not to look until after Christmas—it might just be a Christmas miracle.

Dec 23: Check the Cambridge weather forecast and feel nostalgia for the sub-freezing weather that you know is your fate when you return.

Dec 24: Hardest “would you rather” ever: Eat HUDS food on Christmas Eve, or have your aunt interrogate you on when you’ll find a nice Harvard boy?

Dec 25: Proclaim, after a bit too much (rum-infused) eggnog, that you’ll be better next semester.

Ho ho ho, merry Harvard-mas!


The Game at Fenway: The Solution No One Needed

The End of an Era
Take a good look at this picture, because it may be the closest you get to a 2018 Game tailgate.

Harvard Athletics, in the wise words of Avril Lavigne, why’d you have to go and make things so complicated? There are many reasons why the Game should not be played at Fenway. Here are a few:

Capacity

One would think that giving free tickets to an entire undergraduate-base of students, charging less than a meal at Clover for non-college affiliate tickets, and the presence of house-sponsored tailgates would lead to a full Harvard Stadium for the Game, right? WRONG. Despite a centuries-long rivalry, the Game never sells out. Moving from Harvard Stadium (capacity of 30,000) to Fenway (capacity of 37,000) will only further depress attendants as they look around to see grandstands of empty seats. This isn’t Clemson vs. Miami, and the argument for the Stadium lacking sufficient capacity is ungrounded.

Transportation

Walking back to your room across the JFK Bridge with a stomach full of Keystone and Franzia at 1 p.m. is the most physically taxing thing (MY FRIENDS NOT ME MOM OK) have ever done. Shuttling out buses of inebriated students to Fenway seems like an even greater logistical nightmare. It adds costs of renting buses, paying drivers, and hiring people to clean up the botched shotguns Brad and Nathan spilled throughout Yawkey Way. It’s far from campus. It’s messy. It’s an Uber surge-pricing hellscape.

The Saybrook Strip

Unlike Yale police officers, cops at Fenway will like...actually arrest the students that get nude in the third quarter (assuming they haven’t left yet, or even entered the Game in the first place). But if you’re scheming to do away with your sloppy roommate, feel free to use this to your advantage.

Public Embarrassment

Townies already think that Harvard kids are huge dorks. Half of a sloshed Delta Gamma running around, tripping over their Steve Madden sandals in the middle of Boston won’t change their minds. If the Boston Globe gets a glimmer of a freshman peeing on Pesky’s Pole, you can imagine the Facebook arguments surfacing regarding the intellect of Harvard students.

Rushing the Field

Multiple Yale students broke their legs jumping down to rush the field from a 12-foot drop because they’re not used to engaging in physical activity and are brittle. Can you imagine kids rushing the field from the top of the Green Monster? I’m not saying that this is likely, but get a couple Four Lokos in you, and anything seems possible.

The Game at Harvard is fantastic because a student can wake up, walk to the Stadium, and be back in bed before kickoff. It’s local fun that allows students to tailgate on (read: trash) the facilities across the river, and easily hop over to the Stadium (or not). Fenway complicates and tarnishes the Game’s biggest asset when held in Cambridge—convenience. Why change over a century of a good thing?

Bona Fide Excuses for Dropping Your Clubs


As the end of the semester looms, many of us are starting to seriously consider what we want to do next semester. If being involved in too many extracurriculars made your life this semester a living hell, worry not! With these viable excuses, you can make some room in your schedule so that you can finally have more time for filling your evenings with Netflix, not strategy meetings.

The excuse to use when...you decide to be blatantly obvious about the fatal flaw shared by most Harvard freshmen.

“It’s not you, it’s me...and my prior inability to restrain my inherent need to be an overachiever by getting involved in every club ever.”

The excuse to use when...you thought that you could revamp your wardrobe at no extra cost.

“Sorry, I thought that there would be free swag, but it’s been a semester, and my wardrobe is still as lame as ever.”

The excuse to use when…you originally had time for this club, but you got into a better club.

“While I genuinely would love to stay involved in [insert name of club], I am afraid that I have overextended myself this past semester, and rather than give this club anything but my utmost best, I have decided to comp [insert name of club] at another time.”

The excuse to use when...the free snacks stopped flowing.

“I’m very sorry, but once the Doritos and apple cider disappeared, so did my desire to come to these club meetings. I hope that you understand.”

The excuse to use when…the line between academics and extracurriculars blurs (from tears).

“I really did finish the poster, but my tears from my pset ended up soaking the poster. Can I join this club again when I am in less emotional turmoil?”

With these excuses in your arsenal, you’ll have no problem making your schedule more manageable...at least until comping for spring semester rolls around.

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