The Princetonian thus describes a nightmare of our faculty who are supposed to witness a Yale-Princeton baseball game a hundred years hence. The players take their places and the game is called. "The ball whirls through the air with velocity, the catcher motions one of his assistants to the right, who is just in time to take in an out-curve of ten feet. "How is that?" cries the pitcher. "One ball!" yells the umpire, stationed on a small tower at a little distance. And armed with an immense telescope. "What?" says the pitcher, and he pulls out a revolver and blazes away. The umpire is just in time to dodge down behind the rampart of his observatory, and the shot whizzes harmlessly over his head. Play is resumed. "Strike!" "What?" says the batter, in his run, and he too takes a pop at the unfortunate umpire, who this time gets his hat knocked off. Suddenly an immense in-curve strikes the batter on the head and knocks it clean off. "I want you to apologise to this man," says the Yale captain, in a huff with the pitcher. "Certainly," says the pitcher, as he expresses his sympathy, and good feeling is restored. In this inning Yale scored one run on a terrific hit which took centre-field off his feet and dashed him against the bars of the grand stand. This was the most beautiful hit of the game. Princeton also scored one run on a bad error by shortstop, who, getting his finger knocked off, and stopping to pick it up before throwing, overthrew, and the man came around. In the seventh inning the umpire earned three curses on strikes, balls and a close decision at second. In the twenty-ninth inning Princeton again tallied, the datter hitting the ball clean into the third-base's stomach, and, the Yales not having the presence of mind to call lost ball, before they could get it out the man scored. This being the last inning, Princeton was declared winner. The following is the summary:
Runs-Princeton, 2; Yale, 1. Curses earned-by umpire, an infinite quantity. Deaths-Princeton, 1; Yale, 2. Stomachs hit-Yale, 4; Princeton, 3. Heads hit-Yale, 4; Princeton, 6. Total men hit-Princeton 9; Yale, 8."